tiokapaws
Non breath oblige
- Feb 28, 2026
- 4
a few minutes ago, I saw a post on a social media of a girl who commited suicide by some soet of strangulation or suffocation in a hopsital bed. The attempt failed and she was rendered brain dead. I wonder if she knew if she'd end up like this, in so much more pain, that she wouldn't even die straight away, would she have done it? Maybe she had wanted to stop once the suffocation started but couldn't.
I don't know. It makes my heart hurt alot. I know people die everyday, but when it's by suicide—especially when it's other young people—it hits too close. Alot of times too it's because of stuff like bullying. Not to sound like I'm dismissing their problems, but they hadn't even wanted to die. If the world was kinder, and maybe their mind too, they would've opened up to the people close to them who, at least from the videos I've seen, clearly care about them.
When I think, if things had gone differently, if I had taken a different route, it could've been me. When you don't know how to do it right, hanging is not an easy thing to go out peacefully. Even when choking yourself, that awful thumping feeling in your head, the tightness in your neck, I can't imagine that being someones final moments.
My head is being stupid and I'm being stupid because I know I linger too much on these things. Though, I wonder if it's bad to say seeing these things always does the job of putting me off wanting to attempt again (at least now, while I'm in a steady mind) You think that it won't happen to you, thay you won't be unlucky and be left with consequences until it happens. I've already been left with long lasting health debilitations due to mine. I wonder if I try again it'll be like I'm testing God and I'll be used as an example. Even typing that out was scary I'm scared I've brought it into being omg. But I'm trying to get better with assuming that for everything so I'm going to leave it because I've already typed it. And whats done is done.
Anyways, I think I need to turn off my mind. I spiral too much and a thought leads into another and another and I get trapped and its so awful because I actually sort of need to be okay right now. So I will go to bed and feel hurt for this girl and so many others that feel as if we need to end our lives to rid ourselves from this suffering but tomorrow I will wake up and keep my head clear. Okay yes. That's it. Thanks.
I don't know. It makes my heart hurt alot. I know people die everyday, but when it's by suicide—especially when it's other young people—it hits too close. Alot of times too it's because of stuff like bullying. Not to sound like I'm dismissing their problems, but they hadn't even wanted to die. If the world was kinder, and maybe their mind too, they would've opened up to the people close to them who, at least from the videos I've seen, clearly care about them.
When I think, if things had gone differently, if I had taken a different route, it could've been me. When you don't know how to do it right, hanging is not an easy thing to go out peacefully. Even when choking yourself, that awful thumping feeling in your head, the tightness in your neck, I can't imagine that being someones final moments.
My head is being stupid and I'm being stupid because I know I linger too much on these things. Though, I wonder if it's bad to say seeing these things always does the job of putting me off wanting to attempt again (at least now, while I'm in a steady mind) You think that it won't happen to you, thay you won't be unlucky and be left with consequences until it happens. I've already been left with long lasting health debilitations due to mine. I wonder if I try again it'll be like I'm testing God and I'll be used as an example. Even typing that out was scary I'm scared I've brought it into being omg. But I'm trying to get better with assuming that for everything so I'm going to leave it because I've already typed it. And whats done is done.
Anyways, I think I need to turn off my mind. I spiral too much and a thought leads into another and another and I get trapped and its so awful because I actually sort of need to be okay right now. So I will go to bed and feel hurt for this girl and so many others that feel as if we need to end our lives to rid ourselves from this suffering but tomorrow I will wake up and keep my head clear. Okay yes. That's it. Thanks.
