Its so lonely wanting to ctb bcoz you can't tell anyone

[12345]

The title basically says it all but I am so incredibly lonely and can hardly look people in the eye knowing what plans I have for the future

 

[Deleted member 23774]

I feel the same way.

 

[Bigpink]

I'm glad I can say it openly and plainly here. Not that I know many people, lockdown made no difference as I don't actually know 6 people. Did in the past but no-one gives a shot now.

 

[Deleted member 94]

I'm the opposite I never get lonely and isolation doesn't bother me, it's actually when I have to attend family gatherings that's when I'm bothered. Like they have left me alone all this time so why not continue with this trend.

But I know most other people are social and can't fathom being alone. I try to relate but can't help feel envious when they say they are completely alone. Hi op wanna trade places.

 

[Wrennie]

They basically make it impossible to tell someone of your intentions without them feeling the need to report it because of a fear that they'll be liable, which essentially just serves to further isolate the suicidal and cement our resolve to end things.

It's immensely frustrating.

 

[12345]

I'm the opposite I never get lonely and isolation doesn't bother me, it's actually when I have to attend family gatherings that's when I'm bothered. Like they have left me alone all this time so why not continue with this trend.

But I know most other people are social and can't fathom being alone. I try to relate but can't help feel envious when they say they are completely alone. Hi op wanna trade places.

Hugs :( xx

 

[Sherri]

Same I won't tell anyone when my day arrives. Done that in the past and was looked down by people who didn't have a clue I was so desperate.

 

[awfullife]

I told my therapist that I don't want to be here anymore and she hit me with "Do you have a plan?"
I was like "No, I'm not a violent person I could never do that."
She said it was normal suicidal ideation.
I didn't have the heart to tell her I have hundreds of hours logged onto SS by now...lol

 

[WornOutLife]

I read once:

"Suicide is a kind of food that you can't share with anybody."

I guess they were right.

 

[stygal]

I'm the opposite I never get lonely and isolation doesn't bother me, it's actually when I have to attend family gatherings that's when I'm bothered. Like they have left me alone all this time so why not continue with this trend.

But I know most other people are social and can't fathom being alone. I try to relate but can't help feel envious when they say they are completely alone. Hi op wanna trade places.

Me...in a way.
One or two people to openly share everything with and checking in on each other every other week would be nice.
I definitely don't need anyone living with me or spend 24/7 h with.

I don't really get lonely but it's the emptiness of having nowhere to spill out my thoughts which gets me sometimes.

 

[Deleted member 94]

I read once:

"Suicide is a kind of food that you can't share with anybody."

I guess they were right.

It's a poison why would you want to share that with anybody but yourself. Only one you can probably share it with is others in the same boat, and I mean probably.

 

[262653]

I was just thinking about it. Above all people, who are the most interested in keeping me alive? Family, friends, and loved ones. Allies when everyone concerned strives to survive, but what if one partner, or family member, or friend starts considering suicide as a the means to avoid pain and suffering? The same people can now become the ones who oppose the suicidal person the most.

 

[_Kaira_]

I regret telling anyone IRL that I want to die. Out of all the things I've done, that was the biggest mistake.

 

[Jack]

I've been telling people i know in real life I want to die and im gonna kill myself on and off for a while now. Its whatever at this point no one is gonna try and stop me unless i say im doing it RN. No one is gonna make my life any better. People cant stand being around me, not their fault but im not gonna keep living isolated like this much longer.

 

[12345]

They basically make it impossible to tell someone of your intentions without them feeling the need to report it because of a fear that they'll be liable, which essentially just serves to further isolate the suicidal and cement our resolve to end things.

It's immensely frustrating.

My pysch said to me 'you'll have to put ur s thoughts aside for us to work together. Isn't that exactly why I'm here??

 

[NodusTollens]

Oh OP, you're so right about that.
—hugs—
Sometimes it feels like my feelings of suicidal ideation can be felt by others. Like I emit a suicidal pheromone, or people can just sense it.

 

[Antigonish]

Tell me about it. People are like a penny for your thoughts, to which I'm like

 

[Nicebuddimtim]

It stuns me how little anyone cares if you're suicidal. Been through it for years ready dark depression and nobody cares nobody wants to help nobody understands it. My friends have drifted away when I opened up a little bit and my family only care when I admitted to planning. I've gone through this for so long but nobody believes me because I hid it for so long. The worst thing is is I am the one who feels bad about the whole situation like I'm letting everyone down.

 

[Floria]

That's why I blocked all my friends on social media, Yesterday one of them left some dunuts in front of my door, I was so fucking angry

 

[angelfeather]

I feel so desperately sad today with exactly this on my mind. I wish I could talk to friends and family about how I'm feeling but can't. I'm always there to listen and be there for them though. Feeling very confused today...

 

[12345]

Oh OP, you're so right about that.
—hugs—
Sometimes it feels like my feelings of suicidal ideation can be felt by others. Like I emit a suicidal pheromone, or people can just sense it.

Same and no one likes being around depressed ppl as much as they love you I just kno that I'm not good company

 

[Mer]

The title basically says it all but I am so incredibly lonely and can hardly look people in the eye knowing what plans I have for the future

Same. I hold conversations in my head where my friends/family and I talk about stuff, including about why I want to die. But I'd never, ever, tell them in real life. They'd get me tossed into the loony farm.

 

[12345]

Id

It stuns me how little anyone cares if you're suicidal. Been through it for years ready dark depression and nobody cares nobody wants to help nobody understands it. My friends have drifted away when I opened up a little bit and my family only care when I admitted to planning. I've gone through this for so long but nobody believes me because I hid it for so long. The worst thing is is I am the one who feels bad about the whole situation like I'm letting everyone down.

It's like unless ur talking about planning your supposedly doing ok. :( me too knowing how much of a fuss your causing rly feels into the urge to leave

 

[neverever]

I regret telling anyone IRL that I want to die. Out of all the things I've done, that was the biggest mistake.

Hugs to you. Why do you regret having told people that you want to die?

I've been telling people i know in real life I want to die and im gonna kill myself on and off for a while now. Its whatever at this point no one is gonna try and stop me unless i say im doing it RN. No one is gonna make my life any better. People cant stand being around me, not their fault but im not gonna keep living isolated like this much longer.

I can relate to this.

I told my parents that I want to die and plan to kill myself. They just stared off into space silently for a while before beginning to berate me. I guess that they know they can't help. Can't make my life better.

 

[painoflife]

The title basically says it all but I am so incredibly lonely and can hardly look people in the eye knowing what plans I have for the future

Yes, I know exactly what you mean with this! Sorry you are suffering too

 

[MindFog]

The devil inside my head always say I'm going to die alone. I guess she's right..

 

[_Kaira_]

Hugs to you. Why do you regret having told people that you want to die?

Thanks. Because people always change when they realize you aren't "normal", and for me, it's been for the utter worst.

 

[GoneGirl]

I tell my partner when I feel like killing myself. He usually just says I need to think positively and create goals to look forward to. I think that by telling him so frequently how I feel it won't be such a massive shock to him when I eventually do end my life. I also tried committing suicide last month and rang the person who caused a lot of pain to let them know not to feel guilty. He told me to kill myself as he would feel relieved when I did. I tried and failed (carbon monoxide poisoning). I won't tell anyone else but I'll keep telling my partner how I feel so that hopefully he becomes just as desensitised x

 

[moonchild]

It stuns me how little anyone cares if you're suicidal. Been through it for years ready dark depression and nobody cares nobody wants to help nobody understands it. My friends have drifted away when I opened up a little bit and my family only care when I admitted to planning. I've gone through this for so long but nobody believes me because I hid it for so long. The worst thing is is I am the one who feels bad about the whole situation like I'm letting everyone down.

It seems so ironic to me how worried I am/have been about people believing or finding out I'm suicidal, because I don't want to deal with them being annoying about it. But then whenever I do open up a little about how I feel, it's either that people withdraw because they don't want anything to do with negativity (I guess), or they just gloss over it because they don't understand how dark it actually is.

 

[neverever]

Thanks. Because people always change when they realize you aren't "normal", and for me, it's been for the utter worst.

That is the utter worst.