Venting it’s one of those nights.

[Aleksandra]

it's been a while since i've posted or been on this forum, and i don't really have any friends anymore.

recently (well a few weeks ago) i cut out one of my long term best friends, because she made a comment that really hurt me and i had enough of it. i miss her but that friendship has always been messy and i thought it was best for me and her.

i am so broken. i often think about my last cbt attempt and i just wish i had died there and then. i have been doing so much to try and forget about how broken i am and tonight just hit me how alone and sad i am. i am so sad. people always tell you it's ok to be sad or not ok but when is it too much and you're just constantly not okay..

i find myself crying most nights and apologising to everyone i've ever had in my life for every mistake i've made. it's been 7 months since my ex split from me and not living with him. i drain everyone i ever come across and i think about how people would just be better off without me.

the fear is still there, i'm scared of dying alone and i feel like that's how it's going to happen. all i see is ghosts of my past and it's getting ever so overwhelming to try and ignore them, my mind is a mess i can't even structure my words properly, and i am sorry for anyone reading this. i don't want to be here anymore. it's not even about my traumas anymore, i'm sick of people telling me therapy helps when i've done it for years and nothing has changed. no meds helped, no exercise or eating healthy, nothing. what is it that i'm doing wrong? why do i feel so lonely

 

[Blutsager]

Hello, my friend.

I am sorry to hear you having such terrible feelings tonight.

But you don't have to be alone. Wanna talk? My PM is open to you, and if you prefer, we may move on into Discord to chat from there, perhaps on 1-on-1 chats, or we may go togheter to some discord servers. Regardless of which method you decide to contact me, I am here to talk with you, perhaps of serious topics, or you may come talk to me about your hobbies and crafts, perhaps videogames or shows, whatever you may wanna talk about.

You ain't alone here friend. We are all with you. And we TRULY are with you. Don't let the distance deceive you, nor "minimize" our attention towards you, thinking that being in contact online is inferior in any form to talking on real life. Remember that here, on the digital world, I could even better than in the real one walk away from you, so any connection you make here is more meaningful and honest than a real life one, for we are here truly because we want you, and we listen to you because we enjoy your company.

Anyways, as I said, my PM is open for you friend.

 

[itsamadworld]

Why do I feel so loneyl.....Cuz this world sucks, and human nature is very, very flawed..... Sorry. That's all I got.....I kind of have similar situation...going over my past....uuuug....it's very emotionally draining, this world is a vampire. That's for sure.

 

[Blutsager]

Why do I feel so loneyl.....Cuz this world sucks, and human nature is very, very flawed..... Sorry. That's all I got.....I kind of have similar situation...going over my past....uuuug....it's very emotionally draining, this world is a vampire. That's for sure.

My friend, know my post applies for you as well. All that I told her applies to you. Should you want to, contact me, and we may discuss whatever topic you may feel like it. Feel free to read my post and know it is for you as well.

 

[Rockman]

We can talk if you want.