I've spent years of my life going through the roll. Meds. Therapy. Psychs. Anti Psychotics. Hospitals. You name it. Ive been on anti depressants since I was in middle school. I want(ed) to get better. I now think, at 23, it is not possible. I'm too poor, and too inept from depression to continue living. I would want to live if I could. I have loved ones, a job, a stable home life, a nice apartment with the people I love. I still dont want to live.
I've been constantly miserable since the day I was aware of myself. I was a victim of very early CSA, and got out of the loop of abuse very late in high school. I wake up too traumatized to function. I wake up constantly ideating. I can't sleep, I can't cry, I hate food, and my empathy is nonexisent most days.
When does it become triage? When does my illness become terminal even if it's mental? I want to go.
I've been constantly miserable since the day I was aware of myself. I was a victim of very early CSA, and got out of the loop of abuse very late in high school. I wake up too traumatized to function. I wake up constantly ideating. I can't sleep, I can't cry, I hate food, and my empathy is nonexisent most days.
When does it become triage? When does my illness become terminal even if it's mental? I want to go.
