Venting It’s insane how some people see suicide as being worse than suffering

[FuneralCry]

It always comes across as so insane to me when people act like suicide is the worst thing possible and see suffering as something to be prolonged at all costs, when in reality death could never be a bad thing as one cannot be harmed by not existing.
We are all destined to die and be forgotten about anyway, and suicide is something relieving instead as it's the prevention of all future harms in an existence that was just a horrific, unnecessary mistake in the first place.

There are no disadvantages to being completely unaware for all eternity yet it's undeniable that there is endless potential for torment in this cruel and futile existence.
It will always be absurd to me when people worship this existence, I view it as better to cease existing under all circumstances, only wishing for death is rational to me, it's so dreadful having the ability to exist as a conscious being. Existence is so evil as it's the source of all harm and suffering, I see existence as always something best avoided.

 

[Innereye]

"Better never to have been" good book

 

[aaturtle]

I would rather suffer and live in spite. I don't wanna lose. I don't wanna give up.

And even if suffering outweighs the good I get to experience, I still live for the crumbs. Honestly, every time I'm able to go through something difficult, I just feel stronger and more capable. I don't know what it's like for you or a lot of other people on this site, but for me personally, my suffering is just proof of my strength.

Existence is so evil as it's the source of all harm and suffering, I see existence as always something best avoided.

Yeah, but it's also the source of all that's enjoyable. Sometimes enjoyment is just crumbs and it feels like I'm being teased (like I'm a dog and the universe is pretending to throw a treat just for me to find out there's nothing there lmfao... hopefully this metaphor makes sense)... but I still know I wanna enjoy things, so I just use the anger I have toward the universe and existence itself and I keep pushing through whatever misery is there and actively seek out enjoyment.

Then, when I get to enjoy something, there's an even greater sense of satisfaction. Like, "Haha, I win again, look at me experiencing joy. Try to bring me down just so I can do this all again."

I love it! I still wanna give up every now and then because I feel trapped and can't believe that I'll be happy again, but then I just tell myself that I don't need to be happy and I don't need to enjoy existing in order to be allowed to exist. I don't care if it sucks. I want to exist. Lol. Maybe I just think being alive is supposed to be a challenge, and there's a small part of me that enjoys that challenge. Just my pov.

 

[Aim]

It always comes across as so insane to me when people act like suicide is the worst thing possible and see suffering as something to be prolonged at all costs, when in reality death could never be a bad thing as one cannot be harmed by not existing.
We are all destined to die and be forgotten about anyway, and suicide is something relieving instead as it's the prevention of all future harms in an existence that was just a horrific, unnecessary mistake in the first place.

There are no disadvantages to being completely unaware for all eternity yet it's undeniable that there is endless potential for torment in this cruel and futile existence.
It will always be absurd to me when people worship this existence, I view it as better to cease existing under all circumstances, only wishing for death is rational to me, it's so dreadful having the ability to exist as a conscious being. Existence is so evil as it's the source of all harm and suffering, I see existence as always something best avoided.

I don't think they mean to say: your suffering isn't validated. But I think for most healthy people. It's impossible to understand the severity of how painful mentall illness is. At least that's how I see it. That's why I'm so happy for this page.

 

[Cloud Busting]

@FuneralCry I agree it is cruel to force someone to suffer so those close to the individual don't have to grieve. Putting down animals in pain is accepted, yet terminally ill or vegetative people are expected to live because of the sanctity of life. It really makes no sense.

Where I think we differ is I think emotional pain is often not a constant, and very often solvable. Life is cruel and full of suffering, but I also think life is full of magic and beauty. I agree it is bad praxis for pro-lifers to force the suicidal to suffer at all costs, but I think a suicide prevention model that focuses on helping people alleviate suffering would be a better goal.

@aaturtle My man. Are you a Camus fan by chance? I'm getting The Myth of Sisyphus vibes from you.

Could you imagine if oppressed people gave up because they were suffering? I can't blame them per say, but I admire the civil rights activists and stonewall rioters who took a stand and fought back instead of giving up.

Spite is my literal reason to live. I am tempted to give up on a regular basis, but honestly that's what ctb is. It's giving up. I have to be literally out of options in order to do that. You're my hero.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Spite is my literal reason to live. I am attempted to give up on a regular basis, but honestly that's what ctb is. It's giving up. I have to be literally out of options in order to do that. You're my hero.

I prefer to think of it as "forfeiting" or "resigning" than "giving up". I feel that's more accurate and carries fewer judgemental connotations.

FC doesn't derive any kind of pleasure or enjoyment from anything at all, so it is impossible for her to see the other side of the coin when it comes to existence.

 

[Cloud Busting]

I prefer to think of it as "forfeiting" or "resigning" than "giving up". I feel that's more accurate and carries fewer judgemental connotations.

Fair point. I have referred to it as "submitting to defeat." Would you also consider that judgmental?

I will steal "resigning." Thanks.

FC doesn't derive any kind of pleasure or enjoyment from anything at all, so it is impossible for her to see the other side of the coin when it comes to existence.

I realize this, but I think entertaining and understanding different perspectives (especially those that are alien to your own worldview,) increases empathy and broadens one's understanding.

I do not expect FC to change her personal view. I only wish she would realize her narrow perspective of the world does not apply to all.

I feel for her in her lack of joy and pleasure, as I experience the same thing during breakdowns. As a whole tho, I find this world very beautiful. She doesn't have to see it that way, but I wish she'd realize not everyone sees the world as nothing but suffering.

I mean no disrespect FC. I respect your view and am sorry for the suffering you endure. I just wish you wouldn't be so critical of those who view the world differently than you, as everyone has their own way of looking at things. Not everyone has the same view as you.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Fair point. I have referred to it as "submitting to defeat." Would you also consider that judgmental?

I will steal "resigning." Thanks.

Life is often compared to a card game. We are constantly told to "play the hand we're dealt". When people play a card game say in Vegas and they quit, that's not giving up. A good player knows when to continue to play and when to fold.

It could be judgmental. I don't want to tell suicidal people how to view their own CTB. But pro-lifers certainly view it in those terms and I don't like to use their language.

 

[Deleted User#81194]

I mean no disrespect FC. I respect your view and am sorry for the suffering you endure. I just wish you wouldn't be so critical of those who view the world differently than you, as everyone has their own way of looking at things. Not everyone has the same view as you.

These posts of hers are just vents as for as she's concerned. She rarely replies in them, it didn't always use to be that way before Tantacrul made his video. I think because past experiences with other people always tend to lead to drama. They never yield in their immovable views anyway

 

[Cloud Busting]

Life is often compared to a card game. We are constantly told to "play the hand we're dealt". When people play a card game say in Vegas and they quit, that's not giving up. A good player knows when to continue to play and when to fold.

Card games are based on probability. To me the solutions to life are endless and relative to the individual and their perspective. What some may view as an unbearable tragedy, others can learn to deal with and live a great life regardless. I admire a person who was born into an adversity and flourished and lived in joy despite that. They didn't let difficulty bring them down, and revolted against it on earth. Mad respect.

However it is not my place to say what a person should or should not handle. If they cannot find a solution to their pain after exhausting all options, who am I to say they should forcibly suffer? While I may find much beauty and potential in the world, I remain pro-choice.

It could be judgmental. I don't want to tell suicidal people how to view their own CTB. But pro-lifers certainly view it in those terms and I don't like to use their language.

While I see ctb in my case as giving up and succumbing to defeat, I too harbor no wish to tell people how to feel about CTB. It's personal and relative. I appreciate you pointing out the optics of such phrases as I do not wish to imply pro-life platitudes or general insensitivity to the suicidal. They are misunderstood enough.