It’s impossible to date

[Julgran]

You're assuming the ones owning the robots will pay us

I just meant that we will need to occupy our time - while we live - with other things, other than relationships.

when they could just simply get rid of us
maybe make us all infertile or something,
then after we die they keep the planet to themselves

This is probably already in progress.

The A.I will know how to do everything, even clean your toilet, cook food and build roads and electric towers,
this will all happen. Eventually we will be able to create a synthetic brain that can learn on its own without being programmed.
The A.I itself could be the reason for our extinction. If it's programmed to survive, it will just kill all humans because humans
can turn it off. We would become the "problem" the A.I has to solve, the "Road/tower" it was asked to build by its creators.

If human merge with A.I, then
the first humans to merge will have an advantage over all the other humans
that are still biological,
and might decide not to share/sell the technology to the rest of us

I'm not sure that there are any geniuses around who can actually build a proper A.I, but such a future would be genuinely terrifying - absolutely!

I think there's an optimism bias when it comes to this topic,
I'm more cynical
I think life and society is just about money at the end of the day. Nobody likes parasites.
If they can't find a use for you, they won't need you, it's that simple.

I fully agree!

You might have heard about the Georgia Guidestones. Ha ha! Now we are getting into esoteric areas

In this hooking up culture and tinder; It's basically impossible to find connections that are actually worth it. Do you guys date at all?

It's probably the hook-up culture that is the core of the problem. Have you been able to find someone, at all, but are unsatisfied with those people - or are you not finding anyone who would be a good fit for you?

 

[quanxiswife]

I found my gf on Her, an app for lesbian and bisexual women. It took less than a week after making a profile for her and I to match up, so I would say I've had a pretty smooth experience with (online) dating at least compared to others here. Hookup culture does suck though. I remember swiping through tons of partnered women looking for thirds :|

 

[Ethereal Knight]

I date the food I eat. somehow I'm able to make this as sexual as sex itself.

strange but true.

seriously, this is a big part of why I feel miserable. I had great sex when I was 16-25 years old, but then I started to become progressively more socially isolated and turned basically into an incel.

I think affection, connection, touch and even high intensity orgasms are actually a human need.

I use the word "need" in the sense that the person actually cannot function without these things. just like a car cannot function without gasoline.

I think life and society is just about money at the end of the day. Nobody likes parasites.
If they can't find a use for you, they won't need you, it's that simple.

it hasn't always been like this, though. our contemporary culture perhaps is too influenced by capitalist ideology and modern junk values...

 

[Zegers]

The most anyone wants from me is just sex.

you know how dating works, make out first and maybe later they notice you (or ghost you)

my social status is called social anxiety disorder

Sometimes I think it's like the universe, the matrix or whatever fuck up our lives so much on purpose to make it so we can't access love, i don't know, it's kind of strange.

 

[sadmachine]

Like a lot of things in life it feels like it's up to luck, being in the right place at the right time to find someone compatible

 

[TheDoomedDoomer]

Being an older genZ (M,21) I completely understand you. I feel as though even if my mental state was good enough to be in a relationship it would be impossible with the way this generation values loyalty honesty & respect. Social media and dating apps play a major role in this in my opinion.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

Social media and dating apps play a major role in this in my opinion.

I wonder what social media, smartphones and dating apps haven't ruined. this may be easier to count.

 

[Brianiskillingme]

Just ended a 9 month relationship. I am good, for now.

 

[abyss]

It's true dating apps have sort of ruined the landscape for most although they can actually be more beneficial for people who are introverted if they don't know how to meet people otherwise. Have to either adapt or do without. As much as I don't like to admit it, I could have had good connections if I acted better on dates. Dates are sort of like an interview, the other person has to be engaged all the time and you can't be passive. You have to put on a big performance every time and can't just "bee urself" unfortunately. It's kind of a nightmare but not impossible, for most at least.

 

[lofticries]

The funny thing is meeting the one is the easiest part in a relationship. Its keeping them that's the hardest.

 

[Marine]

you know how dating works, make out first and maybe later they notice you (or ghost you)

Sometimes I think it's like the universe, the matrix or whatever fuck up our lives so much on purpose to make it so we can't access love, i don't know, it's kind of strange.

I think it doesn't have to if you find an actually mature person who values you as a person and is ok with taking the time getting to know you (it's my dream anyway lol), but I don't know where they are.

What if you're ok with making out but not having sex immediately, because it's important to you and you don't want to do that with just anybody or without enough trust ? I struggle with that whenever I meet someone and I'd rather be valued enough to take the necessary time.

The other day I met a guy who said he wanted to take the time and was ok just cuddling at first then when we actually met he pretty much jumped on me. It keeps happening... I feel like either people really want sex more than anything else or I somehow trigger that I don't know how... I know I'm very cuddly but innocently... Or I'm not good enough to be considered for anything serious... Which according to other people doesn't add up.

You last phrase is what I'm struggling to figure out a way out of precisely. If you look at things logically I shouldn't have a problem meeting a match, but in reality it's like a curse keeps me from that against all rationality, it's quite invisible and is what's killing me. No one I've turned to for help has been able to identify what was wrong. I was sent to an exorcist who turned out to be a hoax and that's it. I've tried every self help and spiritual practice I could find but so far nothing has worked. I keep searching but I'm gonna have to find a way before it's too late, so fast.

 

[outatime_85]

Just a thought.

The apps might be doing exactly what they were meant to do.

A hostile takeover and a corporate raid on the traditional dating methods used many moons ago.

Because these apps not only provide a buffet, they also offer the ability for one to be impetuous and possibly remove much of the bonding for some, allowing for some people to have their cake and eat it too.

The days of serenading and long walks in the park, sitting on benches or a picnic where two people try to build something that is more than surface level, something that doesn't end in heartbreak, divorce, etc., something impregnable, something that even their best friends couldn't understand.

Those days seem long gone.

Because these apps and smart devices allow people to do things on a massive scale that used to be done but on a smaller scale (ghosting, monkey branching, etc), the way friendships and relationships used to work seems to have effectively been put out of business.

Now, with the doom and gloom out of the way, I think there are still people who long for strong, lasting friendships and relationships, but now it just seems like the pool is a lot more muddy and the pH is out of balance for some and just fine for others (a Goldilocks effect maybe).


@Xion - Perhaps the ratio in the world has been skewed to the latter rather than to the former, of those who just want x vs. those who want to cuddle and build a strong bond.

That being said, try not to give up on having what and who you want in your life, and also try not to write them all off as bad code.

You may find one that returns exit (0).

sorry for the rambling

 

[Suicidebydeath]

The funny thing is meeting the one is the easiest part in a relationship. Its keeping them that's the hardest.

I feel like its the exact opposite for me, lol.

 

[Marine]

Just a thought.

The apps might be doing exactly what they were meant to do.

A hostile takeover and a corporate raid on the traditional dating methods used many moons ago.

Because these apps not only provide a buffet, they also offer the ability for one to be impetuous and possibly remove much of the bonding for some, allowing for some people to have their cake and eat it too.

The days of serenading and long walks in the park, sitting on benches or a picnic where two people try to build something that is more than surface level, something that doesn't end in heartbreak, divorce, etc., something impregnable, something that even their best friends couldn't understand.

Those days seem long gone.

Because these apps and smart devices allow people to do things on a massive scale that used to be done but on a smaller scale (ghosting, monkey branching, etc), the way friendships and relationships used to work seems to have effectively been put out of business.

Now, with the doom and gloom out of the way, I think there are still people who long for strong, lasting friendships and relationships, but now it just seems like the pool is a lot more muddy and the pH is out of balance for some and just fine for others (a Goldilocks effect maybe).


@Xion - Perhaps the ratio in the world has been skewed to the latter rather than to the former, of those who just want x vs. those who want to cuddle and build a strong bond.

That being said, try not to give up on having what and who you want in your life, and also try not to write them all off as bad code.

You may find one that returns exit (0).

sorry for the rambling

I don't think the human nature and its inherent relationship needs are ever going to change no matter how the world change.

While some things might get somewhat corrupted, what makes a real relationship work remains the same. It's never going out of date.

Society has thoroughly brainwashed people with f**ed up false ideas and values though that these apps tend to reinforce and that are a poison to relationships.

I still don't get my curse and why I never seem to connect with people I'm truly attracted to, who live in the same city and appear to be a good match, but it certainly seems like most people on dating apps, especially many attractive ones are fuckboys and lying sleazebags, like the last one who ended up ghosting me, yet another reason why I don't want to get intimately involved with anybody I don't know I can trust. I'm gonna end up being unable to trust pretty much anyone until they're proved themselves over a lengthy period of time, and that is if I survive loveless hell in the first place.

I don't know if I'll ever meet someone organically with mutual attraction who I can just have nice and long conversations with over coffee and take our time until we figure out if we're a good match, with all the delicacy and subtleness it involves...

 

[come to dust]

Being a man, especially a straight man or a non white man (in the west), means you will get much less hits and likes on dating apps.

The only exception to this is for the top 10% of attractive males, plus a fair proportion of those who are both gay/bi and white.

It's one of those inconvenient truths no one likes to bring up.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I've never been on a date in all my 28 years of life and I'm going to be forever alone because I'm a scared little bitch boy who can't even contemplate rejection or failure. Every moment I'm not in an intimate relationship with the opposite sex is a moment I curse my own useless presence for being too afraid to take any of the necessary actions that would even get me closer to getting on a date. I willingly embraced being an incel because it means I don't have to fall in love again because no self respecting sane individual would be able to reasonably love me which is usually my number 1 criteria for liking someone. The only thing my soul wants to live for is one of the many things that makes me evil for wanting to ruin someone's life by the mere thought of being with such a horrible being such as myself.

Rejection sucks balls. I wouldn't say it's a bitch move to avoid it, rather it is wise.

 

[deathbylife]

I'm too disfunctional as a person for any one to like me, I can't talk to anyone and
Interacting with other human beings makes me extremely anxious in any situation
To me living in society is a necessary evil,
something that I put up with because it's the only way to survive.

and I'm not good looking either.

It's a good thing that I don't desire women that much. I can live without them the same way I can live without a pool or a fancy car.
Even If I had one I wouldn't know what to do with her.
The only thing I find interesting/of value
in them is their ability to physically comfort me (sex and cuddles)
Most women aren really not that interesting personality wise,
and I'm not
a fan of small talk or doing things that normal people do

I feel the same way about men
"and they have fat chicks as girlfriends, not even necessarily that ugly in the face, but
just the fact that someone that is actually worth something compared to me (i firmly believe that I'm valueless as a man) had to settle for that mediocrity only shows me that I would have an extremely hard time to date someone that I would actually like and find attractive."

Maybe they just found someone who made them happy without looks being the primary objective, @NoLifeNoPain. There are things like personality, conversation, hobbies in common, etc. outside of looks that matter a whole lot more in the long run. It's because of guys like you that I turn around and run as soon as I see your type coming.

Hey, relax, it's just a joke! Don't get your panties in a twist, my friend. After all, remember, you can live without us just like you can live without a pool or an expensive car.

 

[Zegers]

I wonder what social media, smartphones and dating apps haven't ruined.

I think we have to stop blaming technological advances for everything. Without it, we wouldn't be here, without it, we would be even more isolated.
Tech tries to make people's lives easier, even if it doesn't work for everyone. Tinder and dating apps may not work for a NEET secluded in house with no social life at all but for a showy single with an active life it can be interesting.

@Xion At least you have amusing dates lol I have partly given up, juice isn't worth the squeeze, when i talk about disability or problems related they just disappear.

@come to dust I'd say more than 10% maybe its like a 25% like 1/4 basically the showy guys with an active social life

 

[Message In A Bottle]

Only online - not sure if I should risk irl.

Either way, I'll probably end up passing here before I ever reach that point - But it's nice to daydream about what could be.

 

[NumbItAll]

I don't think the human nature and its inherent relationship needs are ever going to change no matter how the world change.

While some things might get somewhat corrupted, what makes a real relationship work remains the same. It's never going out of date.

Society has thoroughly brainwashed people with f**ed up false ideas and values though that these apps tend to reinforce and that are a poison to relationships.

I still don't get my curse and why I never seem to connect with people I'm truly attracted to, who live in the same city and appear to be a good match, but it certainly seems like most people on dating apps, especially many attractive ones are fuckboys and lying sleazebags, like the last one who ended up ghosting me, yet another reason why I don't want to get intimately involved with anybody I don't know I can trust. I'm gonna end up being unable to trust pretty much anyone until they're proved themselves over a lengthy period of time, and that is if I survive loveless hell in the first place.

I don't know if I'll ever meet someone organically with mutual attraction who I can just have nice and long conversations with over coffee and take our time until we figure out if we're a good match, with all the delicacy and subtleness it involves...

Yeah unfortunately these apps seem to attract all the worst assholes and narcissists. From my male perspective I am basically seeing an endless supply of IG models who just want to promote themselves, plus assholes who offer only a list of demands and complaints. Some of the bios are so mean it makes me want to delete everything. I feel completely invisible as no one is interested in a real connection. They just want to see what they can get for themselves. The more assholes that pollute these apps, the more it scares away quality humans. I think there are good people out there, but that is of cold comfort to those of us who are lonely now and don't have a good way of meeting anyone irl. I'm gonna see if there's anything I might be interested in on meetup.com as a longshot, though maybe not for a little bit cuz it is way too hot to do anything right now lol.

 

[Marine]

Yeah unfortunately these apps seem to attract all the worst assholes and narcissists. From my male perspective I am basically seeing an endless supply of IG models who just want to promote themselves, plus assholes who offer only a list of demands and complaints. Some of the bios are so mean it makes me want to delete everything. I feel completely invisible as no one is interested in a real connection. They just want to see what they can get for themselves. The more assholes that pollute these apps, the more it scares away quality humans. I think there are good people out there, but that is of cold comfort to those of us who are lonely now and don't have a good way of meeting anyone irl. I'm gonna see if there's anything I might be interested in on meetup.com as a longshot, though maybe not for a little bit cuz it is way too hot to do anything right now lol.

I'll try aligning with what I need and want more anyway.