WitheringAway
Ima shake the champagne bottle...
- Jun 23, 2020
- 404
In this hooking up culture and tinder; It's basically impossible to find connections that are actually worth it. Do you guys date at all?
hellispink
poisonous
- May 26, 2022
- 1,231
I don't date. I am not interested in dating anymore after so much pain and betrayal. However, I can imagine it must be very difficult nowdays to get other people to hold a normal and focused conversation. A lot of people just sign in for the sake of talking to a bunch of people or for light connections. But little of them are actually interested in forming something valuable.
Lost Magic
Illuminated
- May 5, 2020
- 3,045
No, because I don't want to be here much longer anyway. It's just a waste of time, for me.
Online dating expedites my desire to CTB, needless to say I've actively used 3 apps for 5 months and no matches.
NumbItAll
expendable
- May 20, 2018
- 1,090
At this point I would settle for just being acknowledged or even not being screamed at in the extremely hostile bios of narcissists who pollute dating apps.
Marine
*~ 絶対に 全てを取り戻させてもらう ~*
- Jul 5, 2020
- 678
I desperately try to find a compatible real human somewhere... Same results as you so far. I want to try going out more to meet people though I don't know where or whether I'll have the energy to do so but hopefully... I've been stuck inside for too long because of my physical condition and dating sites make me feel like the most worthless piece of trash in existence, which I shouldn't be... I desperately need to break free from that curse and become the best self I can be to get better chances but this situation is what's preventing that so it's a vicious cycle I'm not sure how to get out of...
No, not anymore. Dating is hard even for "normies" these days, for various reasons. There's little to no hope for a reclusive and depressed weirdo like me.
I'm too disfunctional as a person for any one to like me, I can't talk to anyone and
Interacting with other human beings makes me extremely anxious in any situation
To me living in society is a necessary evil,
something that I put up with because it's the only way to survive.
and I'm not good looking either.
It's a good thing that I don't desire women that much. I can live without them the same way I can live without a pool or a fancy car.
Even If I had one I wouldn't know what to do with her.
The only thing I find interesting/of value
in them is their ability to physically comfort me (sex and cuddles)
Most women aren really not that interesting personality wise,
and I'm not
a fan of small talk or doing things that normal people do
Interacting with other human beings makes me extremely anxious in any situation
To me living in society is a necessary evil,
something that I put up with because it's the only way to survive.
and I'm not good looking either.
It's a good thing that I don't desire women that much. I can live without them the same way I can live without a pool or a fancy car.
Even If I had one I wouldn't know what to do with her.
The only thing I find interesting/of value
in them is their ability to physically comfort me (sex and cuddles)
Most women aren really not that interesting personality wise,
and I'm not
a fan of small talk or doing things that normal people do
Celerity
shape without form, shade without colour
- Jan 24, 2021
- 2,733
Honestly, I have kind of given up. I think I am too much of an idealist to make real-life dating work.
This may be a weird opinion, but I think most people are. Not knocking contraception - it's a wonderful invention - but its invention has led to a very weird state of affairs for men and women. The internet has made it (and all social relations, really) that much further removed from our instinctual, evolutionary base. My parents ended up together because my mother got knocked up, and my dad is a stand-up guy despite his flaws. That's how I see myself getting married.
The whole exercise seems to require too much effort and offers too much disappointment. I have yet to find someone who looks to be worth the effort, including myself.
This may be a weird opinion, but I think most people are. Not knocking contraception - it's a wonderful invention - but its invention has led to a very weird state of affairs for men and women. The internet has made it (and all social relations, really) that much further removed from our instinctual, evolutionary base. My parents ended up together because my mother got knocked up, and my dad is a stand-up guy despite his flaws. That's how I see myself getting married.
The whole exercise seems to require too much effort and offers too much disappointment. I have yet to find someone who looks to be worth the effort, including myself.
whatevs
Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
- Jan 15, 2022
- 2,914
This man is bringing back the spicy incel content! Give him a cookie or something!
voluntary celibate
Maybe a whale or something would date me
a real value girl that's actually hot? lol never
I lost the genetic lottery
i'll never afford that
Long live the supreme gentleman
(I'm joking, I know he was a murderer, and didn't even kill the right people)
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Tired_only
Tired
- Sep 22, 2021
- 29
umm..well i'm happy you're not trying to date cause the way u described women was so misogynistic, its like men find it so hard to respect women..i dont understand
Zegers
Enlightened
- Dec 15, 2021
- 1,761
I don't have the energy for this whole process, date, going somewhere and so on.
Not just men, skinny baby faced boys find it hard to respect women too lol
hey I'm joking! don't get triggered, please.
You're a wonderful person, smile :)
I'm just telling you the way it is, the crude truth of how my lizard and mammal brain perceive this "pattern" called women. I don't want you to get offended or anything. It's just nature.
I understand you're a human being with a complex mind,
but whenever I'm around them (your kind) all they talk about is social media, singers, tv shows and all of that mainstream horse shit
I just don't relate to you, but
I do have sexual needs and a desire to feel loved and nurtured, and for
that I don't need someone that's relatable/interesting to me
You don't need to be interesting to give me cuddles, you get what I mean?
I can just pretend that I like your social media stuff to manipulate you into loving me
Push the right buttons to get the right effect out of you,
I get my cuddles and you get, well whatever you wanted to get out of me
Not that I have anything to offer, and that's the whole point
I'm completely worthless
The reason why I'll probably never date is that you
women want strong men with at least some decent social status, and money (my social status is called social anxiety disorder, which means zero status, I can't even talk to people)
As far as being strong goes, I'm skinny as a stick
Considering all of these factors, what do you think the odds of me finding a woman that's at least a 6 or a 7 (appearance wise) are?
I see men that are better looking than me (the big jaw-face, hunter eyes, tall, wide and every other physical trait that releases good feeling chemicals in the female brain) and they
have girlfriends that are like 5s or 4s.
I mean if even they can't do better than that, what chance do I have, since I'm an ant compared to them, and I don't
even like what they have to be honest.
I'm not going to bother to spend resources and effort into improving myself, just so that I can
have an ugly girl.
To me women are only valuable for the "affection" part, that's it.
And I just can't see myself receiving that from someone that I don't find sexually attractive.
It just wouldn't work.
PleaseTakeMeAway
Nothing to say anymore.
- Jul 16, 2022
- 118
I don't date. I don't really like anyone anymore, and they don't like me.
The most anyone wants from me is just sex. It's disappointing that if I ever did want to date someone, I couldn't because no one seems to want a real relationship.
The most anyone wants from me is just sex. It's disappointing that if I ever did want to date someone, I couldn't because no one seems to want a real relationship.
There's some truth in what you say, even though it comes off slightly negative.
Keep in mind, though, that those female 4s and 5s who get to date the kind of men that you describe, are likely to just be discarded by those men, since they are just sleeping around and don't care about the women. The bottom line is that dating is probably horrible for most people in various ways.
Yeah, well regardless,
the type of women that I'm into are out of my league,
completely unaffordable.
And they're the only kind of women that would make me happy, make
the sweat and struggle of defeating my social anxiety and my fast metabolism be worth it.
And I'm assuming here that I could actually fix myself.
Certain mental conditions are pretty much permanent. It's just how your brain chemistry works, and you can't really do much about it.
I'm into the slender round faced ones with mature personalities, and the face has to be somewhat angelic looking, she can't have a big nose or things like that (cute,intelligent and responsible are the keywords here) .
These women that are 6-7s to me, could probably be 8s or 9s to you.
Just like what I consider to be a 4 or a 5 could be your 6.
To me a 4 isn't someone that's deformed.
It's just a girl that's ugly, but you don't feel like vomiting when you look at her, she isn't repulsive.
A 5 is leaning towards cuteness but isn't really there, has clear defects on her face,
such as a strong wide jaw, instead of a more feminine one. Or maybe she's fat and she'd be a 6 without the weight.
I'm trying to make you see my mental picture.
Sexual attraction is subjective to some extent, and I do have high standards of beauty (and personality). I think spending most of my time inside the house looking
at photos of women instead of actually looking at real women could be the reason for that, I dunno.
I see relatively strong, masculine men (Face wise) that are at least 3 points above me (I'm a 4, maybe I could be a 5 if I wasn't underweight, and that's appearance wise only, if you count my terrible and empty personality I lose at least 1 more point, so I guess I'm a 3 overall)
and they have fat chicks as girlfriends, not even necessarily that ugly in the face, but
just the fact that someone that is actually worth something compared to me (i firmly believe that I'm valueless as a man) had to settle for that mediocrity only shows me that I would have an extremely hard time to date someone that I would actually like and find attractive.
You're saying these aren't really their girlfriends, but even so, trust me I wouldn't fuck half of the women
I see these big faced muscular men with.
The girls that I like have better options so why would they bother be with me, someone that
can't even function as a person in society, let alone be a real man.
What even is the point of dating a man that can't protect you, or provide for you?
Isn't that what women want us for? Isn't that our function/purpose?
I think my point is that women are expensive, it takes time and effort to get one, and
after all of that investment you don't even know if it's gonna last.
She can just get bored of you one day, and then all of your sacrifices will be flushed down the toilet.
They'll never really love you unconditionally either, like your mother or sister/brother does.
You'll never really be worth something to them, because before they get old and ugly they can always replace you with
the other hundreds of men that are also interested in them.
We males just weren't designed by nature to be loved by any one other than ourselves.
We're not cute and cuddly like women are. When we rip our nails off we can't
just cry and have people feel sorry for us because we're soft and harmless and deserve attention like a puppy does.
A guy could get beaten up, tortured in the most horrible ways and nobody would give a shit.
All a woman has to do to have people care about her feelings is to exist and not be ugly.
You have to do way more than that as a guy if you want people to value you and
not get irritated by your mere existence in the tribe.
I mean jesus fucking christ think of all the skinny, pussy 18 year olds, many even younger than that, that were all drafted and had
to be burned alive, tortured or raped in wars anyway, even though they were probably just as weak and delicate as their pussy sisters, girlfriends
and other female acquaintances.
Women get too many advantages in life if you ask me. All they have to worry about is not have
some creep touch their ass without their consent when they go out. They don't have to do much else.
They're like children that never grow up.
Nobody expects them to prove themselves or do anything other than have a job.
They don't have to become "Real women" like we have to become "real men".
Well anyway who cares what I like and why I don't think dating is worth it for me,
why did I even bother typing this lol
It's just nice to be able to actually talk about it
I don't think I'd have the guts to say these things in real life,
I don't have to be an actor here
I fully understand where you are coming from. My intent was only to say that I agree, and also to bring some perspective on the female side, since they don't have an easy time at dating either, it seems.
There's nothing wrong with having preferences.
Yes, in general, this seems to be the man's role.
You could be right, but I think it comes down to expectations. Are loving partners even supposed to love their partner in exactly the same way as one's own parents? I'm thinking that it's just wishful thinking that doesn't map onto reality, but I fully agree. There's as saying that goes along the lines of "men are looking for a woman who's like his mother".
Perhaps, but I think that women share this dread.
Precisely! Men are doers, which means that we are only worth as much as the output that we can muster, so if we don't live up to people's standards, we are worth nothing at all.
This is probably a result of biology and men's need of feeling like they can protect someone.
Indeed!
Well, some people don't want to admit that men and women have their own "roles" in society, but this is how it is. From a mere cave people perspective, women need to be protected from the elements and animals by moving about within the safety of the center of the tribe, so men need to be expendable and provide protection to the tribe from the camp's perimeters.
I don't fully understand what you mean. Women aren't drafted into wars, are they? I guess it depends on which country we are talking about.
Some people may accuse you of being a misogynist for saying this, but the way this maps onto reality is that some people see women as being disadvantaged in society throughout the ages, so they want to give them a leg up.
However, women do also have to worry about getting raped, and that's no laughing matter.
Sure, but then we come back to those "roles" that I mentioned. It's men who are the "doers", so women don't have to prove themselves to others in this way. On the other hand, the "doing" part that men do probably is the equivalent to looking beautiful for women, which probably takes much time and effort to accomplish. Sure, they don't need to become power lifters, but as you mentioned, men are, in general, allerging to excessive weight in women.
No worries. Many people are in the same siuation as you, and it's a shame that it's so difficult to talk about without being looked at with suspicion.
It means that a weak soft effeminate boy still had to fight for his country in world war 2, because he had a dick, and if you have hands
you can shoot with a gun
The whole point of women not having to be the protectors is that they're weak (physically and mentally)
that's why you don't put them in prison with rapey angry dominant Tyrone with tattoos.
You put them in prison with other soft women like them instead, because you understand they're not equal to tyrone.
But not all men are tyrones either,
some of us are pussies and we can't do anything about it.
I've been trying to gain weight for years and I'm still failing.
Even in the face I barely look like a man (the short hair, that's about it). I don't think I was born to be a fighter/protector.
I'm clearly at a disadvantage in a fight.
There are men that are mentally and physically weak, just like women are mentally and physically weak,
but they don't get the same special treatment
If you're weak as a guy, maybe even homosexual (I'm not, just giving you an example of other weak men) it just means you're going to be bullied or die (in certain situations like a war),
it doesn't mean society will think of you as a cute puppy that must be protected
whatevs
Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
- Jan 15, 2022
- 2,914
I disagree that women are weaker mentally to men, statistics show instead that more men commit suicide or are homeless. It's more probable that women have a tougher psyche than men, although they produce less geniuses as a trade off for their more stable minds.
If you calculate mental toughness as solely related with how someone reacts to violence then men are stronger as we are genetically 'gifted' to partake in that with less stress than a woman, but that's a tiny fraction of what makes some resilient. In fact, this is such a ridiculous portion of what makes someone psychologically sturdy that you only need to see what makes people flock to SaSu: it certainly is not normally that they couldn't punch someone else.
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Suicidebydeath
No chances to be happy - dead inside
- Nov 25, 2021
- 3,559
So many things are online now and it's difficult to actually get to know what the other person is like online. Also because there are so many options and I'm rubbish at writing profiles I don't think I would get much attention online, except from abroad which is pretty useless to me. I'm wary of meeting people, because I'm wary of disappointment and heartbreak on both sides.
I never really had much success with 'dating', all my relationships are pretty organic with people falling for me or finding a connection in a non-dating setting and then me reciprocating. I find reciprocation easy, probably everything in my childhood puts me on that path. I do get pretty creeped out/disgusted if someone approaches me when I'm already in a relationship though.
I never really had much success with 'dating', all my relationships are pretty organic with people falling for me or finding a connection in a non-dating setting and then me reciprocating. I find reciprocation easy, probably everything in my childhood puts me on that path. I do get pretty creeped out/disgusted if someone approaches me when I'm already in a relationship though.
I lost interest a long time ago I have my own issues and be in my own head to much I just want to get to a point where I live comfortably and have a bunch of materialistic shit so I'm not bored .
I see.
I believe that this is nature's way of sorting out which people are fit to live and reproduce, and who's not. Since we humans don't need to kill each other, in normal circumstances, having weak people not reproduce may be nature's new way of implementing "kill or be killed".
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 20,702
I've never been on a date in all my 28 years of life and I'm going to be forever alone because I'm a scared little bitch boy who can't even contemplate rejection or failure. Every moment I'm not in an intimate relationship with the opposite sex is a moment I curse my own useless presence for being too afraid to take any of the necessary actions that would even get me closer to getting on a date. I willingly embraced being an incel because it means I don't have to fall in love again because no self respecting sane individual would be able to reasonably love me which is usually my number 1 criteria for liking someone. The only thing my soul wants to live for is one of the many things that makes me evil for wanting to ruin someone's life by the mere thought of being with such a horrible being such as myself.
Suicidebydeath
No chances to be happy - dead inside
- Nov 25, 2021
- 3,559
You don't seem unloveable to me. That's pretty much my main criteria as well, just someone who loves me, maybe not as much as I love them but enough to feel that I'm not being used or taken advantage of. I think it's just difficult to find someone like that, where you both like each other and everything aligns. Most of the people I'd be attracted to and could see myself being with, would probably be the same people that feel unloveable themselves and so it's hard to maintain a connection with them for all the reasons you stated.
Almost everyone I've ever been with irl or online would resonate with the feeling of being unloveable or undesirable in one way or another. The exceptions of people who loved themselves and overestimated their own value tended to be among the most toxic relationships I've ever had. So I could be bias but it seems that way to me.
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 20,702
Thanks. Though my evidence for believing I'm unlovable stems from the fact that no one has loved me yet in this sort of fashion. I also feel vile because I do actually have what many would consider plenty of familial and platonic support and yet it's still not enough for me. I think on a surface level one may not be able to see the flaws in me because I've been pretty vague about them plus there are probably tons of other mistakes I'm bound to make due to my lack of experience. I don't mean to argue, I'm just trying to clear the air that sometimes my self hatred gives some people the idea that I'm actually trying to manipulate sympathy when I only mean to tell the truth of my own irredeemable shortcomings.
It's true that I personally adhere to self loathing because I realize I'm an even worse person when given any room for self esteem or confidence because that always turns into a petty form of cockiness/arrogance in me. For example I'm always afraid that even if I did find someone I'd probably just push them away eventually out of insecurity. I have yet to test this theory but somehow I just know. People are sometimes drawn to me for my honesty but I'm only able to be this frank when I DON'T care about a person. I can just as easily see myself lying while trying to keep someone in my life if I actually cared or doing anything else similarly underhanded. This is why even if I do see someone I might like on a dating app I tend to still swipe left because they seem too good to be true plus there's no way they'd like me back.
I wish these traits really were just in my head and that someone would just swoop in and prove me wrong but it's been so long now that I doubt that'll happen with all the walls I've deliberately put up and have yet to find someone who I'm willing to open them up for. I can't speak for anyone else who also deems themselves unlovable for similar reasons as I. The only head I can have full knowledge of is my own and so only I know my own unsavory thoughts. I can't assume the same for anyone else though and I try not to.
Yeah, well that could be
you don't see many people that look like me being married and having kids.
anyway biological evolution is a dead end for civilization. Meat and bones are slow and weak.
All men will eventually become useless, without value. and so will all the women
all jobs will be replaced in a century or two. And whoever/whatever replaces us
won't see any point in keeping us around for solidarity.
If nature is truly ruthless and only allows the strong to live and flourish, that means
the human race has maybe 100 years or a little bit more left before going extinct
(That's when the technological singularity is predicted to happen)
A computer will eventually know how to do everything you do, and do it even better and faster,
then it might even develop a simulated consciousness of his own and be programmed with a need for self-preservation,
that's when humanity is screwed
There will be a new predator in town
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This sounds bleak, but I think that you are close to the truth, at least.
We will simply need to find other things with which to occupy our time.
You're assuming the ones owning the robots will pay us
when they could just simply get rid of us
maybe make us all infertile or something,
then after we die they keep the planet to themselves
The A.I will know how to do everything, even clean your toilet, cook food and build roads and electric towers,
this will all happen. Eventually we will be able to create a synthetic brain that can learn on its own without being programmed.
The A.I itself could be the reason for our extinction. If it's programmed to survive, it will just kill all humans because humans
can turn it off. We would become the "problem" the A.I has to solve, the "Road/tower" it was asked to build by its creators.
If human merge with A.I, then
the first humans to merge will have an advantage over all the other humans
that are still biological,
and might decide not to share/sell the technology to the rest of us
I think there's an optimism bias when it comes to this topic,
I'm more cynical
I think life and society is just about money at the end of the day. Nobody likes parasites.
If they can't find a use for you, they won't need you, it's that simple.
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