Venting It’s hard to not feel like a failure

[Alive42long]

Throughout my life I feel like I haven't had any victory of my own. I have no job, no family and no formal education despite trying so hard to seek all those things. I almost got married but it didn't work out, I almost finished college but I have no money to pay for the last couple of months I have to attend to graduate.

Yesterday I was fired from my job because of my back pains and I'm feeling suicidal ever since. I have really bad lower back pains but I can keep a job if I'm able to sit for 15 to 20 minutes every 4 hours. Despite that, my boss got scared I could hurt myself during work and then sue the company. He decided to not risk it.

I feel like every aspect of my life is just almost within reach but never there. Never a victory.

I have a really sweet boyfriend right now and lots of friends. I feel really loved by everyone and they'd never let me starve or fail to pay the bills. I just wish I didn't fail again and again. I wish I had at least one victory in my life. Anything I could say I have accomplished and be proud of.

 

[tonicer]

You have a partner and friends? That alone makes you a winner in my book. :)

I am a 42 year old virgin guy who still lives with his mother in her house.
I studied CS and graduated plus i got some important certificates but i can't find a job.
I guess i weird the interviewers out because i always get negative feedback after a week or two.

Being surrounded by nice loving people would be enough for me. All i have is my mother and she is very old now.