PurpleAura
Member
- May 6, 2021
- 20
I'm so glad that I found this site because there's nowhere else that you can safely express how you feel.
If there's one thing for you sure it's that we are all going to die but it's just a question of when. My mum died of vascular dementia and I can tell you that there can't be many worse ways to die as your brain slowly forgets how to eat, Swallow, breather. So at some point maybe the same will happen to me, so I decided that it would be better if I decided when I should die. Once I'd made that decision then everything became clearer. Life is like some kind of science fiction time loops. Sleep, eat, work, repeat and then you get old, fade and die. Wtf. But it's not what society expects because otherwise people would be killing themselves left, right and centre. So I took an overdose of an antidepressant . I did my research and took what I thought would be a fatal dose but someone called an ambulance, I was sick, spent hours in A&E and that was that. Next time I took everything I had, which was a mixture of all sorts of stuff. I don't wake up for nearly 2 days but here the hell I am. So whats next you may ask. I don't know is the real answer. I've found this site and I've been looking in to SN but its not easy in the UK. I've placed an order but I think they've taken my money with no intention to supply. I managed to get some M from an online chemist so maybe I can use that in preparation of an overdose of something else. I've written my letters of goodbye for my close family and the only thing that stops me right now is the worry of failure and the potential physical affects on me. So it's nearly time but that worry of failure is quite a big obstacle
If there's one thing for you sure it's that we are all going to die but it's just a question of when. My mum died of vascular dementia and I can tell you that there can't be many worse ways to die as your brain slowly forgets how to eat, Swallow, breather. So at some point maybe the same will happen to me, so I decided that it would be better if I decided when I should die. Once I'd made that decision then everything became clearer. Life is like some kind of science fiction time loops. Sleep, eat, work, repeat and then you get old, fade and die. Wtf. But it's not what society expects because otherwise people would be killing themselves left, right and centre. So I took an overdose of an antidepressant . I did my research and took what I thought would be a fatal dose but someone called an ambulance, I was sick, spent hours in A&E and that was that. Next time I took everything I had, which was a mixture of all sorts of stuff. I don't wake up for nearly 2 days but here the hell I am. So whats next you may ask. I don't know is the real answer. I've found this site and I've been looking in to SN but its not easy in the UK. I've placed an order but I think they've taken my money with no intention to supply. I managed to get some M from an online chemist so maybe I can use that in preparation of an overdose of something else. I've written my letters of goodbye for my close family and the only thing that stops me right now is the worry of failure and the potential physical affects on me. So it's nearly time but that worry of failure is quite a big obstacle
