it's ALWAYS my fault

[wildflowers1996]

i'm so sick of basically being told i'm stubborn and not trying hard enough
therapy doesn't work because apparently i don't WANT to get better or "do the work"
no, i just don't want to accept myself. i never asked for this face, and what would actually help me is impossible

and then all the religious people telling me my sinfulness is my own fault
i deserve to go to hell according to most Christians/Muslims out there
i'm not praying enough, reading enough scripture, doing the right rituals, doing enough research to find the "truth"

i'm going hungry because i can't make food, i can't motivate myself to take meds, i'm exhausted, i can barely sleep because of chronic pain, when i did sleep the other day it was literally on the floor because i didn't care enough to move to go into bed

it's OVER, i know there is no hope for me, i wish people would stop pretending there is and just let me die

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm sorry people aren't understanding, nor can accept that you simply already do your best. It's very disheartening and degrading to be in that position.

I hope you can find peace, you didn't deserve a life as awful as this.