RedDoor
Tired... just Tired
- Apr 13, 2023
- 56
Every once in a while i come here. Specifically when im very depressed. Cause these are the times were i really feel like i can't stand the idea of tomorrow it simply kills me. People around me slowly start noticing me being depressed because i react less and become very suppressed. I just have to lie and tell them that i didn't sleep well because no one cares about my problems. Just recently i became very depressed that for the first time in my whole life hell didn't seem as a terrifying alternative to this life. When i arrived to this conclusion i was sure that there is no going back. I wish i could just have my childhood mindset where i didn't care what i was, who i was and what people think of me. I've tried to tell myself to not care what others think but every time I've failed miserably. The difference this time is that this time im suffering from family related issues. Both of my parents think that that the other one is a maniac who only cares for himself so they keep blaming me when ever a problem comes up. They never think how i feel about this. Untill one time i told one of them which was a mistake because the one that i decided to tell from my parents ended up telling in conclusion that im a failure. This time i won't accept any apologies. Sorry if i have overshared it's just that i feel like im depressed, and i also have no one i could talk to about this. Let me say this because i really want to get it out of my chest and i wouldn't dare to say it infront of anyone. Im nothing and i don't matter.
