Venting It's all so fake

[Hahem]

These days I went to a friend's birthday party, it was fun and all, but I felt I was putting a mask all the time, pretending to be normal, trying so hard to fit in, my friend's friends were so cringe and childish, they were so... emotional, they kept repeating stupid one-liners from animes or memes , but I kept fake laughing at their jokes, pretending they were funny, pretending I liked them, to be honest, I didn't want to be seen as "boring", so I tried to make conversations, but they were so uninteresting
Luckily, there were one or two interesting people there that I enjoyed chatting with. I think the meds helped a lot with the anxiety I usually get at these types of events
I feel like this "fake being happy/cool" happens all the time with me, I am always trying hard to fit in, but the people my age are so unbelievably childish and immature, they are just constantly trying to say something stupid and funny and I just find it all so cringe, but everyone is like this, so I keep thinking it's me who is the problem, people find me boring and I find them boring
I just keep thinking about the social events I participate in and asking myself "Why?", "What's the point of all of this?", "Until when will I keep the mask on?", but other times I think it's all in my head and this is just how it is