i can kind of relate. Although there was events and other peoples actions i had no control over i did have control over me and how i reacted.
Would you feel better if there was someone else to blame? i've personally learnt hindsight is a bit of a bitch. i find it quiet hurtful knowing things that could have changed so much, that i didn't know at the time. It's almost like the knowledge it brings is only there to torture, since it's too late to make good use out of it.
If you alone got yourself to a place you dislike wouldn't that also mean you alone can get out of the same place?