Venting It would take the entire world to change for me to reconsider CTB

[sivvie]

I apologize if this becomes a cynical and pessimistic rant. I just think about this a lot; how even if I managed to escape the clutches of my abusive family, the world wouldn't become a better place. I do admit things are better now than they were, say, a hundred years ago. But, I still feel like it isn't good enough.

It's extremely difficult, almost impossible, to leave (I won't elaborate much for privacy or safety reasons) but I think even if I did leave, I wouldn't want to live in this world as it is right now. So many people are hateful and evil, have no empathy or any kind of compassion and understanding for others. Systems are corrupt and being maintained that way by power hungry people. Even nature in itself is a violent and merciless thing. I hate culture, I hate societies, I hate religions. And none of these issues are things that are going to go away any time soon.

I could go on and on and spew all this bullshit about all the terrible things I can list about our current world, but it'll change nothing. I don't want to fight for better, I just want it all to stop. If we never existed, there never would have been injustice and evil. I don't want to live a life I have to keep actively trying to make livable. I don't want to have to look in every haystack for a needle to keep me going. It's not worth it in my eyes.

I hope I can CTB soon. I don't mind if there's a nice afterlife, but I also don't mind the nothingness since I won't even be aware of it

 

[demuic]

I feel the exact same way. The world is a huge factor in why I need to CTB. Even if miraciously all the things ailing me were cured, I would still have to deal with shitty evil humans and this shitty evil planet. I'd rather not. There is nothing here for me and I don't like being alive.

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

I completely agree. I consider suicide a preventive measure, not a last resort. I am fundamentally disgusted with the very fabric of which existence is woven, and if one works with such deficient cloth, it is not surprising that all one can produce are hideous patterns, if you may excuse this brief poetic caprice.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, for me the problem is life itself, life is the cause of all suffering, I want nothing to do with this horrible world, I belong in the nothingness.

 

[Callie Arcale]

I am fundamentally disgusted with the very fabric of which existence is woven, and if one works with such deficient cloth, it is not surprising that all one can produce are hideous patterns

The world is fundamentally and irreparably ugly. The fabric is tainted, soaked in blood and mud, and all the oceans in the universe cannot ever wash it clean.

 

[cambrai33]

The world is carrying out a slow but sure ctb on itself, this planet deserved better

 

[motel rooms]

So many people are hateful and evil, have no empathy or any kind of compassion and understanding for others. Systems are corrupt and being maintained that way by power hungry people. Even nature in itself is a violent and merciless thing. I hate culture, I hate societies, I hate religions.

I don't mind if there's a nice afterlife

Interesting twist. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

 

[sivvie]

Interesting twist. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

what do you mean? hahah i guess it could come off ironic

 

[motel rooms]

I was just surprised that you mentioned the possibility of there being a nice afterlife at the end of your pretty grim post

 

[Zzzzz]

I believe I understand. The world is not even close to a place I'd prefer to live in. Maybe if and when war,greed, hunger, cruelty are virtually non-existent, and much more comfortable lives and advanced beneficial technology. Maybe I could get by. But not this dystopian shit today where almost everything is corrupted by greed ,fear and hate.