It would be so unbelievably, ridiculously easy...

[Deleted member 14386]

No I can't see it. Please explain

Honestly like he said, if you don't understand it will be highly unlikely for anyone to get you to understand. No offense meant some people just think differently and that's fine. But I'll give it a go.

Yeah I agree. No one is here because their life is perfect. A hug emoji could make a difference in how they feel, so even if they're completely lying, why not just be nice?

I'mma focus on the highlighted part. If someone is completely lying about a subject to get likes and attention, giving them what they want will only stimulate them to do it more often, or even get worse with the stories to the point where other people feel so bad they want to donate money or really go out of their way to help them when it wasn't even true. That's taking valuable resources away from someone who might actually need it, it's causing concern and worry for no reason.

Granted this is a probable minority but it does start a 'slippery slope' type thing, we already know getting likes on FB stimulates dopamine receptors so it is very easy to get 'addicted' to getting attention. I have addictive tendencies and I catch myself a lot now checking my notifications every few mins, I have to keep an eye on that but some people don't bother, some others are just lucky.

Secondly if someone is lying, it's incredibly hard to give them accurate advice, then the liar doesn't want to fess up and lies more and more. This is the worst part.
Thirdly they could very well be spreading misinformation which is then read by others just lurking and causes problems there.
Theres a lot of other reasons.

A hug emoji could make a difference in how they feel, but talking the problem out could help even more, talking about the story/asking questions weeds out a lot of the liars. Then see where it goes. I think the point here is that just reading a post and reacting with a hug or like could easily be replaced with a comment, often soliciting a response. Just having someone react to what I said leaves me in a weird position, I might want to talk about but I might not, if everyone just reacted and didn't comment I'd feel worse because the problem isn't solved, but conflicted because people care. And I'm just lonely.

Tbh I'm guilty of everything I just said, apart from completely lying, I can't do it I panic unravel and just end up admitting it lol. But I'm thinking about how many posts I've just reacted to and moved on, thinking nothing of the person and thinking I'm a good person for doing that. Again it's a slippery slope but I'm trying to comment more now than just reacting.
Hope this helped and know I meant no offense
Peace!

 

[gnomeboy17]

Honestly like he said, if you don't understand it will be highly unlikely for anyone to get you to understand. No offense meant some people just think differently and that's fine. But I'll give it a go.

I'mma focus on the highlighted part. If someone is completely lying about a subject to get likes and attention, giving them what they want will only stimulate them to do it more often, or even get worse with the stories to the point where other people feel so bad they want to donate money or really go out of their way to help them when it wasn't even true. That's taking valuable resources away from someone who might actually need it, it's causing concern and worry for no reason.

Granted this is a probable minority but it does start a 'slippery slope' type thing, we already know getting likes on FB stimulates dopamine receptors so it is very easy to get 'addicted' to getting attention. I have addictive tendencies and I catch myself a lot now checking my notifications every few mins, I have to keep an eye on that but some people don't bother, some others are just lucky.

Secondly if someone is lying, it's incredibly hard to give them accurate advice, then the liar doesn't want to fess up and lies more and more. This is the worst part.
Thirdly they could very well be spreading misinformation which is then read by others just lurking and causes problems there.
Theres a lot of other reasons.

A hug emoji could make a difference in how they feel, but talking the problem out could help even more, talking about the story/asking questions weeds out a lot of the liars. Then see where it goes. I think the point here is that just reading a post and reacting with a hug or like could easily be replaced with a comment, often soliciting a response. Just having someone react to what I said leaves me in a weird position, I might want to talk about but I might not, if everyone just reacted and didn't comment I'd feel worse because the problem isn't solved, but conflicted because people care. And I'm just lonely.

Tbh I'm guilty of everything I just said, apart from completely lying, I can't do it I panic unravel and just end up admitting it lol. But I'm thinking about how many posts I've just reacted to and moved on, thinking nothing of the person and thinking I'm a good person for doing that. Again it's a slippery slope but I'm trying to comment more now than just reacting.
Hope this helped and know I meant no offense
Peace!

Christ. You took it way too literally. I meant we should be nice to each other, including commenting nice/helpful things for people, but most people don't have the time/motivation to type something out so a hug is better than nothing.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Christ. You took it way too literally. I meant we should be nice to each other, including commenting nice/helpful things for people, but most people don't have the time/motivation to type something out so a hug is better than nothing.

So....you asked for an explanation as to why your stance was disagreed with....and those were your exact words: "even if they're completely lying"....and now you're saying the person who addressed you is wrong for taking your words "way too literally"....

This isn't Gaslighting Land.

Reinstating reality:

You asked for feedback. Even said please. You received it.


And take the boot-wearing bear with you!

 

[Deleted member 14386]

Christ. You took it way too literally. I meant we should be nice to each other, including commenting nice/helpful things for people, but most people don't have the time/motivation to type something out so a hug is better than nothing.

I was trying to address the topic at hand, I agree 100% with being nice and commenting and reacting (when necessary) but unfortunately theres still people who will try to fish for likes. My point was that if someone is completely lying, going along with the lie is bad. (I should have just said that but I ramble a lot lol)

 

[Inferdan]

In his book, In Sheep's Clothing, psychologist George Simon lays out manipulation tactics, as well as highlights common traits that make people susceptible to manipulation. Your post inadvertently reminded me of one of them:


OVER-INTELLECTUALIZATION. You may be one of those persons who tries too hard to understand. If you're also one who assumes that people only do hurtful things when there's some legitimate, understandable reason, you might delude yourself into believing that uncovering and understanding all the reasons for your manipulator's behavior will be sufficient to make things different. Sometimes, by being overly focused on the possible reasons for a behavior, you may inadvertently excuse it. Other times, you might get so wrapped-up in trying to understand what's going on that you forget that someone is merely fighting to gain advantage over you and that you should be devoting your time and energy to taking necessary steps to protect and empower yourself. If you over-intellectualize, you'll likely have trouble accepting the simple philosophy that there are people in this world who fight too much, fight underhandedly, and for no other purpose than to get what they want.*


I see this type of response so often on SS. I don't say that judgmentally, I fucking lived it for decades. That underlined part at the end is what hurts so much, and I felt it as I wrote the OP.


*For the rest of the common traits that lead to manipulative victimization (post 5 in spoiler link), as well as a whole thread on manipulation tactics, persuasion techniques, and how emotions function to motivate us (and even cause us to manipulate ourselves), see this resource thread:

Spoiler: Manipulation Tactics

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/manipulation-tactics.31123/

_________________________




I say with affection and respect: That, my friend, is quite a seductive and deceptively comforting belief.

I anticipate I will be adored by no one for pointing this out:

Imhave observed the sad reality that people get away with things all the time. If the truth gets out, they do not always pay. They may manipulate their way through, bide their time until the furor dies down and attention is eventually drawn elsewhere, and continue on as before, emboldened, unchastened, and even craftier.

The majority of humans, it seems to me, want to believe that the kingdom of heaven goes to the meek, that karma exists and eventually pays, and that the bad guys will always somehow reveal themselves and get their just rewards.

But the world is not just, and the ones who know this best are the ones who take full advantage of it, with no regret for the expense caused to others, nor for the destruction and havoc wrought.

Another group knows best that the world is not just, and is represented by several factions, including: nihilists, dystopians, misanthropes, those with existential depression, and those who catch the damn bus.

I'm genuinely sorry if I pissed in your cornflakes. I wasn't aiming for them, but they may have taken a hit. I claim the defense of being a woman: I am anatomically incapable of aiming piss well.

You did not piss on my cornflakes. On the contrary, you've taught me valuable lessons and helped me grow and develop my understanding. I meant to be optimistic in my post, but of course there were doubts. You simply allowed me to accept those doubts. My cornflakes are completely fine *crunch*.

 

[AlreadyGone]

...to say I'm going to ctb right now/in an hour/in the morning/in a week and watch people beg me to reconsider, resignedly wish me well, envy me my courage and impending death, and up my hug, heart, and aw reacts.

...to say I just attempted to ctb and backed out/was interrupted/failed and am in dire straights, and slowly reveal the story question by question, answer by answer, and up my hug, heart, aw, and wow reacts.

I agree with this. I am not saying that they are done to obtain reactions, but I feel people create these type of threads as a desperation to get all eyes on their thread and be talked out of the act.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I agree with this. I am not saying that they are done to obtain reactions, but I feel people create these type of threads as a desperation to get all eyes on their thread and be talked out of the act.

The thing is, that is a safe assumption, and likely turns out to be accurate often, but still an assumption. We don't know others' motivations, we don't even know them. I don't disagree with you, I respect you and what you're saying, but I think the perspective is limited/limiting.

Either way, it's manipulation, whether to indirectly get one's needs met (which we all do from time to time), or part of an outright scam. If someone is using manipulation to get talked out of the act, they're not owning survival any more than they're owning ctb, the other members are owning it for them, but I do make space for compassion for why it's done that way. That said...

Compassion is a limited resource, and manipulation drains it. SS gets treated like the First Bank of Free Pity a lot, rather than a collective and reciprocal resource of compassion. For an emotion scammer, the central figure in my OP, SS is a target-rich environment because pity and compassion are at the site's foundation.