Green Destiny
Life isn't worth the trouble.
- Nov 16, 2019
- 862
As of typing this post it's almost my Birthday. I've always had a hard time getting my thoughts together but what I feel is huge disappointment and shame in myself for being where I am today as I was 10 years ago. I really feel the weight of all the time i've wasted and regret it so much. It's not just being in the same place it's the fact that I barely have a social life now. I barely see my friend maybe once or twice a year. They don't live far but my mom is such a controlling person that she always makes it extremely difficult for me to see them. Honestly think if I just got out more often it'd help me a lot to take my mind off things. But my mom is an extremely paranoid person that's afraid of modern society so she more or less keeps me from being out in it as much as possible (Ok I can give her that given there's a shooting in Public every other day of the week here in the U.S.) but it still drags me down that I can't do much of anything besides go to my dead end labor intensive job, play video games and be on the Internet everyday. It's not a fun life I'll tell you that. And that's pretty much all my life has been the last 10 years. This life is not worth going through when everything is the same for so long. If this is truly how it's going to be for the next 10-20 years why should I bother? Better to get the dying over with sooner than later. This life and this existence in general is something I did not ask for. Thanks for reading.
