It shouldn't be so difficult for everyone (and some background).

[Givenall]

Over 50s man here. Poor mental health, . Physical illness most of my adult life..Losing home. I lost best friend. My partner left again. For good this time. Then I'm diagnosed with another horrible condition.....
AND THEN.....
I'm told I have cancer, that its complex and will need radical (quality of life destroying) surgery. . Worst part of all its from it due to medical negligence.

My resilience has resisted ctb in past.
But I'm alone, I always will be if I have the surgery. Don't particularly want to survive with surgically butchered body. Life weren't good before.

So my thoughts come back to the subject that brings us here.

Fall (BH specifically) - fear of heights so survival instinct gonna kick in. Fear of surviving leap if choose wrong spot or drawn out agony.

Buying pills on internet that could be anything seems a dodgy way to try.

Predcription meds - fear of failing to do the job (as is usual) and fear of ending up with brain damage.

Blood loss. Same thing. Losing enough blood to cause damage but not enough to ctb.

Hanging? Instinctive recoil.

Sudden impact of moving train - don't want to give driver ptsd.

There should be a procedure whereby I get to choose what happens next, will be treated with understanding and not like a criminal.

 

[FuneralCry]

That really sounds so horrible what you have to endure, I certainly see it as being inhumane how there is a lack of acceptance towards the right to die in this world and how suicide is purposely made so difficult as a result. It just shows a lack of compassion towards the suffering that people go through in this dreadful world.

 

[Jolene79]

So sorry for you dealing with this shit. It's so unfair. I have a multitude of horrible autoimmune conditions that can't be controlled. My quality of life is hideous. I relate. I don't have cancer tho.
Is leaving the surgery an option? Appreciate you're then left to the mercy of a cancer death. Because the options available to us seem so shitty, that's why I mention this. You'd be eligible for euthanasia I imagine. £10k tho.