It seems like my abusers are really well off, but I am destroyed

[Makko]

You're jokknh right

You have no idea.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

You're jokknh right

Not at all. My suicidality has led me down some interesting paths, and my beliefs are still evolving.

 

[slyna]

I think about that a lot. It makes me laugh when people mention karma or any kind of divine justice. I remember all my abusers names, I dream about their faces, they're what I think about when I cry and when I'm panicking. I think about all people who wronged me after I treated them so well. Nowadays, they're dating, have friends, live in another country etc.... Nothing about this is fair.
I just wish they would even remember my face, even remember my name. I just wish they would KNOW how much they hurt me. That's all I ask. Yet, they wouldn't even recognize me if they saw me today. And I am doomed to think about them every second of my life.
While they're having sex, being happy, building a future and a family, going out for drinks, I am alone in bed crying everyday.

May i ask what kind of abuse?

 

[Dear Agony]

May i ask what kind of abuse?

Sexual, verbal, physical, bullying...

 

[Neowise]

There is a German idiom: "The devil always shits on the biggest pile" meaning if something is already going bad, it will only get worse.

One of the main protagonists of the mobbing I had to endure at school has always been everybody's darling and is now successful at life, too. Travelling around the world, working as a photographer and trying to get a spice business going. In the meantime I'm proud if I do good in a video game.

I feel like karma exists, but it is reversed: you are punished for good, altruistic behaviour and praised for destructive, egoistic behaviour.