Venting It is possible to see too much, and when you do, something breaks inside you forever...

[KnightOfEnceladus]

At some point, I think it's possible to have just seen too much awful shit to keep going. So many of my friends have died, uselessly, needlessly, and I will be next if I don't proactively choose death on my own terms. Everything's going to hell. I've always been lightly psionic and have an uncanny sense of near- and medium-term future events. What I am "reading" for the US, and maybe the world, in the next 5-15 years is unspeakably horrifying; I doubt I'd survive even if I did have enough money and weren't too traumatized and broken to keep going already.

Mostly though, what I feel is a complete rupture with this entire world. I'm done. There is nothing more for me to learn here. I feel like I have outgrown this world and it's long past time to move on. More than that, it feels like I've always been only a visitor, a sort of solid ghost, someone or something who never truly belonged here, and events are constantly conspiring to show it more and more blatantly.

I am so very, very tired, tired in a way that only makes sense on the level of the soul, not the body. Everything is hollow and false. There is no point to my remaining here any longer; it feels like I've just been watching a really awful movie for a long, long time, one I got roped into playing a bit part in, and I'm just not interested any longer.

I'm done. Just need to do this properly, hopefully get some metoclopramide as insurance, as I only have one attempt at this. I don't belong here any longer. I am, and always have been, a lost child in time. May I rest forever in peace at the bottom of the Dirac Sea.

 

[Walilamdzi]

I am so very, very tired, tired in a way that only makes sense on the level of the soul, not the body. Everything is hollow and false. There is no point to my remaining here any longer; it feels like I've just been watching a really awful movie for a long, long time, one I got roped into playing a bit part in, and I'm just not interested any longer.

I feel the same.

 

[Severen]

I feel the same.

Same here. I was always different from everyone else. And I know everyone says that to appear unique. But I'm not BSing anyone here. Because I actually know, 100% I was always different. How? Everyone bullied me, most of my life until I just gave up and started behaving like one of them. If you are different, you will be targeted.

At some point, I think it's possible to have just seen too much awful shit to keep going. So many of my friends have died, uselessly, needlessly, and I will be next if I don't proactively choose death on my own terms. Everything's going to hell. I've always been lightly psionic and have an uncanny sense of near- and medium-term future events. What I am "reading" for the US, and maybe the world, in the next 5-15 years is unspeakably horrifying; I doubt I'd survive even if I did have enough money and weren't too traumatized and broken to keep going already.

Mostly though, what I feel is a complete rupture with this entire world. I'm done. There is nothing more for me to learn here. I feel like I have outgrown this world and it's long past time to move on. More than that, it feels like I've always been only a visitor, a sort of solid ghost, someone or something who never truly belonged here, and events are constantly conspiring to show it more and more blatantly.

I am so very, very tired, tired in a way that only makes sense on the level of the soul, not the body. Everything is hollow and false. There is no point to my remaining here any longer; it feels like I've just been watching a really awful movie for a long, long time, one I got roped into playing a bit part in, and I'm just not interested any longer.

I'm done. Just need to do this properly, hopefully get some metoclopramide as insurance, as I only have one attempt at this. I don't belong here any longer. I am, and always have been, a lost child in time. May I rest forever in peace at the bottom of the Dirac Sea.

The world has been going to hell in a handbasket for a long time, already. And I think, ever since WW I, the world has been unspeakably horrifying.

 

[Lisa]

At some point, I think it's possible to have just seen too much awful shit to keep going. So many of my friends have died, uselessly, needlessly, and I will be next if I don't proactively choose death on my own terms. Everything's going to hell. I've always been lightly psionic and have an uncanny sense of near- and medium-term future events. What I am "reading" for the US, and maybe the world, in the next 5-15 years is unspeakably horrifying; I doubt I'd survive even if I did have enough money and weren't too traumatized and broken to keep going already.

Mostly though, what I feel is a complete rupture with this entire world. I'm done. There is nothing more for me to learn here. I feel like I have outgrown this world and it's long past time to move on. More than that, it feels like I've always been only a visitor, a sort of solid ghost, someone or something who never truly belonged here, and events are constantly conspiring to show it more and more blatantly.

I am so very, very tired, tired in a way that only makes sense on the level of the soul, not the body. Everything is hollow and false. There is no point to my remaining here any longer; it feels like I've just been watching a really awful movie for a long, long time, one I got roped into playing a bit part in, and I'm just not interested any longer.

I'm done. Just need to do this properly, hopefully get some metoclopramide as insurance, as I only have one attempt at this. I don't belong here any longer. I am, and always have been, a lost child in time. May I rest forever in peace at the bottom of the Dirac Sea.

I feel the same on every level. Including the unspeakable that is coming to the US. I've had dreams showing me what's to come. How do you experience your awareness of what's coming?

 

[Gooseygoes]

I feel so much like you do. I can't take it anymore. I live in Los Angeles -- it's particularly wicked here. Everyday is more fresh hell.

 

[Donewith_]

I feel in a similar way. It's not that I am feeling this way for the first time ever in my life. I was always lost.. like I felt out of place.. I remember feeling that way as a kid. Like I don't know why I exist while people around me seemed to do just fine. I was always a lost soul.. Stuck in my head.