burdenox
“You are all the things that are wrong with you”
- Nov 10, 2020
- 25
People love to say "it gets better" but that feels like an unfinished quote in my opinion. Yes, it does get "better" in the sense that maybe things will be quiet for a week, but then it always gets worse, and it's 10x worse everytime. So getting better just means "brace yourself for the worst" at least in my experience.
I feel like my family is cursed. We just seem to be born and bred to suffer. Like some cruel social experiment. Every day I wake up and wonder which one of us is next. I fear every phone call. I feel like, the way it's going, life will kill me before I can even kill myself. It's ironic that in the last year of my nans life, her and her husband became religious because what kind of god could you possibly believe in that would allow this amount of pain.
Near homelessness, poverty, domestic abuse, severe addiction, 3 family deaths within this year, mental illnesses that infect and ruin every relationship, eating disorders, cancer and so much more.
Why would god make a believer of his suffer so much. If there is a god he's a cruel bastard with no love or empathy in his heart. And what's more? We just have to keep going. Zero mercy. Just waiting for the next godawful life event to come along. And with us all dropping like flies, I have no choice but to live.
Is it so much to ask for to have one month without a new knife stabbed into our backs?
This world is fucking evil.
I feel like my family is cursed. We just seem to be born and bred to suffer. Like some cruel social experiment. Every day I wake up and wonder which one of us is next. I fear every phone call. I feel like, the way it's going, life will kill me before I can even kill myself. It's ironic that in the last year of my nans life, her and her husband became religious because what kind of god could you possibly believe in that would allow this amount of pain.
Near homelessness, poverty, domestic abuse, severe addiction, 3 family deaths within this year, mental illnesses that infect and ruin every relationship, eating disorders, cancer and so much more.
Why would god make a believer of his suffer so much. If there is a god he's a cruel bastard with no love or empathy in his heart. And what's more? We just have to keep going. Zero mercy. Just waiting for the next godawful life event to come along. And with us all dropping like flies, I have no choice but to live.
Is it so much to ask for to have one month without a new knife stabbed into our backs?
This world is fucking evil.