Venting ‘It gets better, believe me’

[callen]

I've never understood the phrase 'It gets better.' Even for people who aren't suicidal, if you don't know the future, what is the point telling vulnerable people their situation/life will improve because yours did? Especially when you don't know them.

I mostly find this with some people online in particular, they become enraged at the thought of someone they don't even know choosing what to do with their own life, like focus on your own…

 

[willitpass]

I've often seen online arguments of someone telling someone something along the lines of "I've been there, it gets better" and they become enraged when the person says "no actually I don't think it will and here's why". They will fight tooth and nail to try and win the argument that they know better than someone else about their own life. I've never understood it. I once saw someone say that the person was just not wanting to listen to them and if they didn't want to hear it that was their own fault, as if they were giving unsolicited words to begin with.

 

[almaPerdida]

Blind optimism, it can be quite dangerous. But there are those with endless hope who believe in a bright and happy future for everybody. It's a blind faith in something you can't prove will happen and just believe. Most of society doesn't like talking of sad stuff and suicide, so they just shove down out throats this blind hope to shut us down because they don't have any solid argument.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Well, because the optimistic viewpoint is the most easily acceptable and digestive. We are primarily domesticated to believe that life is good and any other viewpoint is abnormal or wrong. Hence, when one questions life like we do and question whether or not it'll get better as they claim, they'll just insist it will just because it did for them. Blind optimism, it's a easier way to digest reality and why things happen as they do.

 

[callen]

I've often seen online arguments of someone telling someone something along the lines of "I've been there, it gets better" and they become enraged when the person says "no actually I don't think it will and here's why". They will fight tooth and nail to try and win the argument that they know better than someone else about their own life. I've never understood it. I once saw someone say that the person was just not wanting to listen to them and if they didn't want to hear it that was their own fault, as if they were giving unsolicited words to begin with.

Right? Those same people who preach about having the choice to do whatever you want with your own life go absurd when that choice isn't something they personally agree with. You're right too, the anonymous ones online are even worse…

 

[piryohae3]

"it gets better" is like "thoughts and prayers." They brainlessly say something they think is helpful to make themselves feel better about what a great person they are without making any real effort.

You're absolutely right in that there's no guarantee. It might get better, it might get worse, it might stay the same. If it got better for someone else, good for them but it doesn't mean it'll happen for you or me. Personally I'm not curious enough to stick around to see if it'll get better. I find having to earn a living just to pay the cost of living to be not worth it even if things got better.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just delusional toxic positivity, I cannot stand it when people repeat nonsense like that, it's very nonsensical as there is no limit as to how much one can suffer in this existence, to have the ability to exist is something so harmful where there is endless risks after all. I bet they wouldn't be saying that if they ended up in a situation of much worse torment in the future.

 

[Reuthry]

I use to believe in that, I told myself, be patient; when I was at secondary school, I would say wait and see highschool. When I was at highschool, I told myself to wait and become an adult; and what getting older and becoming an adult is more and more suffering. The more days I survive, the more I suffer.

 

[callen]

"it gets better" is like "thoughts and prayers." They brainlessly say something they think is helpful to make themselves feel better about what a great person they are without making any real effort.

You're absolutely right in that there's no guarantee. It might get better, it might get worse, it might stay the same. If it got better for someone else, good for them but it doesn't mean it'll happen for you or me. Personally I'm not curious enough to stick around to see if it'll get better. I find having to earn a living just to pay the cost of living to be not worth it even if things got better.

I agree with you, it's a comforting phrase for them.

It's just delusional toxic positivity, I cannot stand it when people repeat nonsense like that, it's very nonsensical as there is no limit as to how much one can suffer in this existence, to have the ability to exist is something so harmful where there is endless risks after all. I bet they wouldn't be saying that if they ended up in a situation of much worse torment in the future.

What I sometimes see happen is they then believe they're better than other people for suffering and still being alive, I'm not sure if you've encountered this phenomenon too? Either way it normally revolves around their ego.

I use to believe in that, I told myself, be patient; when I was at secondary school, I would say wait and see highschool. When I was at highschool, I told myself to wait and become an adult; and what getting older and becoming an adult is more and more suffering. The more days I survive, the more I suffer.

Yeah, and people have even less sympathy for adults struggling.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I don't think it's going to get better. It's actually going to get worse. A LOT worse.

 

[greebo6]

It never 'gets better' . People are wrong when they say it does.

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

I don't think it's going to get better. It's actually going to get worse. A LOT worse.

Ugh, if I didn't have a million reasons to ctb, this would be one. So gross what the world is becoming. I don't understand how people want to be apart of this?

 

[Tears in Rain]

I don't think it's going to get better. It's actually going to get worse. A LOT worse.

The juvenility and attention-seeking of the herd knows no bounds.

 

[callen]

I don't think it's going to get better. It's actually going to get worse. A LOT worse.

They multiply quickly too…

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think for some of the nicer ones, they genuinely hope that things will get better but like you say- it's ridiculous to insist that they will. Plus, I think it's a conversation stopper too. Like- shut up about your problems because it will all work out in the end- for some miraculous reason. I hate that expression too!

 

[IsThisEverything]

I hate empty phrases like it gets better. It might have gotten better for you or for people you know. I am a diffferent person in a different situation, so you can't conclude that it will also get better for me. You don't know the future. Some people do improve their mental health, others don't or deteriorate further.

 

[Ash’Girl]

I always say - sure, it can get better. But it can also get worse.

Or… it can just stay the same Groundhog Day of shit that it is now.

Even if it does get better, chances are it won't stay better forever, because life is full of changes. It's weighing the balance up of good days va bad days and whether you wanna take the gamble and hold out for this "better" they speak of. Which could take years to attain, or never happen.

Equally it could happen tomorrow and you could live the rest of your life content or happy or whatever. That's what they want us to hold out for - the "maybe". Although I do think people who say it mostly say it because they care and they want to see us recover and be happy, but it's all based on their own experience of life and how they dealt with any of the downswings. Some people bounce back pretty quick. Some people get stuck.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

They multiply quickly too…

130 million more brought into this world every year. That roughly enough to fill 1750 NFL football stadiums.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Yeah, I don't like the phrase for the very same reason. Along with that, in the case of telling suicidal people that phrase, who's to say that just because your situation gets better that automatically means that you won't be suicidal anymore? I've seen people who've talked about their life improving by a lot and still feeling just as suicidal as before. "It always gets better" is such an empty and meaningless statement. It doesn't always get better for a lot of people and even if it does it doesn't guarantee that the person is going feeling better.

 

[callen]

130 million more brought into this world every year. That roughly enough to fill 1750 NFL football stadiums.

I have always wondered if there was an asteroid, what type of people would survive. I imagine the idiocracy residents would 100%.

Yeah, I don't like the phrase for the very same reason. Along with that, in the case of telling suicidal people that phrase, who's to say that just because your situation gets better that automatically means that you won't be suicidal anymore? I've seen people who've talked about their life improving by a lot and still feeling just as suicidal as before. "It always gets better" is such an empty and meaningless statement. It doesn't always get better for a lot of people and even if it does it doesn't guarantee that the person is going feeling better.

Yeah, I think it's almost better to say 'I wish you a happy life and I hope the positives outweighs the negatives for you' rather than assuming what you don't know.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't think it's going to get better. It's actually going to get worse. A LOT worse.

What are we supposed to get from this video exactly? It's just pessimistic bullcrap. It only seems as though the amount of weirdos around has increased because we have the internet. Before, you would only know about these peoples existence if you came across them yourself. Now, you are always aware of their existence because of videos and posts that circulate online.

It's basically the equivalent to people thinking that the world is more dangerous and violence-ridden today because of the news, despite the fact that that we are living in one of the most peaceful eras at the moment.

Also, other parts of the video are just criticizing people for not even doing anything. People recording fireworks, probably so that they send the video to family and friends, some woman just recording herself going to Walmart and then leaving, some dude just singing in a store, a person (who is likely mentally ill or handicapped) hanging out near the pop dispenser... How does that point to things getting a lot worse? There are plenty of actual issues going on right now that easily point to that (the spread of misinformation, increasing political divides, the increasing wealth gap, etc) but none of these issues are actually being discussed in the video.

Sorry for the rant, I just didn't really like the video you posted...

 

[Mirrory Me]

I guess they just don't know how to give better advice.

 

[Tears in Rain]

. It only seems as though the amount of weirdos around has increased because we have the internet. Before, you would only know about these peoples existence if you came across them yourself. Now, you are always aware of their existence because of videos and posts that circulate online.

It's basically the equivalent to people thinking that the world is more dangerous and violence-ridden today because of the news, despite the fact that that we are living in one of the most peaceful eras at the moment.

Also, other parts of the video are just criticizing people for not even doing anything. People recording fireworks, probably so that they send the video to family and friends, some woman just recording herself going to Walmart and then leaving, some dude just singing in a store, a person (who is likely mentally ill or handicapped) hanging out near the pop dispenser... How does that point to things getting a lot worse? There are plenty of actual issues going on right now that easily point to that (the spread of misinformation, increasing political divides, the increasing wealth gap, etc) but none of these issues are actually being discussed in the video.

Sorry for the rant, I just didn't really like the video you posted...

I get what you're saying, the video might be a bit harsh in some parts, like when the people are just filming fireworks. But things are obviously not the same as before; way more of this idiotic crap is occurring now, by many multitudes, because of the internet and cameras on their phones. People have become obsessed about capturing stuff on their phones. Like that woman recording herself shopping- what's the point?

You may not consider it an actual issue, but society's obsession about what others think is now becoming a disorder for many people, especially younger people, and impacting many people's mental health.
Plus, many people at events are now more concerned with recording the event on their phones, as opposed to actually experiencing the event. People go to tourist spots and out in nature, more concerned with capturing stuff on their phones than experiencing where they are.

Vanity and people's obsession with how others view them has gotten out of control. Leading to way more juvenility and idiocy.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

What are we supposed to get from this video exactly? It's just pessimistic bullcrap. It only seems as though the amount of weirdos around has increased because we have the internet. Before, you would only know about these peoples existence if you came across them yourself. Now, you are always aware of their existence because of videos and posts that circulate online.

It's basically the equivalent to people thinking that the world is more dangerous and violence-ridden today because of the news, despite the fact that that we are living in one of the most peaceful eras at the moment.

Also, other parts of the video are just criticizing people for not even doing anything. People recording fireworks, probably so that they send the video to family and friends, some woman just recording herself going to Walmart and then leaving, some dude just singing in a store, a person (who is likely mentally ill or handicapped) hanging out near the pop dispenser... How does that point to things getting a lot worse? There are plenty of actual issues going on right now that easily point to that (the spread of misinformation, increasing political divides, the increasing wealth gap, etc) but none of these issues are actually being discussed in the video.

Sorry for the rant, I just didn't really like the video you posted...

Sooooo, you imply that there is nothing wrong with the people in this video, yet the video prompts the use of the word "weirdos" by you. Hmm, kind of hypocritical don't you think?

Every individual has their own personal views as to what they feel is causing a degradation of their quality of life. Who are you to dictate what that may be, or decide what a right or wrong answer to OPs question may be? For me it's the ever increasing amount of small annoyances I encounter in day-to-day life. We're a society full of zombies and attention-seekers. I can't even shop in the outdoor landscaping section of Lowe's without having to wait for a couple little girls to finish filming a Tiktok so I can get through the aisle with a quarter ton of pavers. The other day, someone smeared a happy face made of feces all over the wall in the restroom of my business.

You really think the internet is merely just forming an illusion that things are getting worse because we have more exposure to media? Well, I can assure you that we've had the ability to compile national data for decades. The numbers point to things getting worse.

And if you don't agree that is fine. But calling it pessimistic "bullcrap" because you have a different narrative is out of line.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I get what you're saying, the video might be a bit harsh in some parts, like when the people are just filming fireworks. But things are obviously not the same as before; way more of this idiotic crap is occurring now, by many multitudes, because of the internet and cameras on their phones. People have become obsessed about capturing stuff on their phones. Like that woman recording herself shopping- what's the point?

You may not consider it an actual issue, but society's obsession about what others think is now becoming a disorder for many people, especially younger people, and impacting many people's mental health.
Plus, many people at events are now more concerned with recording the event on their phones, as opposed to actually experiencing the event. People go to tourist spots and out in nature, more concerned with capturing stuff on their phones than experiencing where they are.

Vanity and people's obsession with how others view them has gotten out of control. Leading to way more juvenility and idiocy.

I think people mostly just capture everything they do on their phones due to our tendency as a species to share thing things with others. I can of just view it as the same as when someone tells you about the mundane things they were doing that day. It's boring and pointless, but they still do it because they can't help themselves and just want to share their experiences with you.

The woman recording herself shopping kind of gives me the same vibes I get when my dad pronounces "memes" as "me-mes". It kind of just seems like someone taking a shot at this "new fangled internet vlogging type thing". It's pretty innocent and not really something to fuss over.

There is an actual discussion to be had about people's tendency to record thing on their phones for views though, especially when it comes to people recording strangers without their consent or during times where it isn't appropriate. The issue is that the video isn't about discussing those topic in depth. The video of the man by the pop-dispenser was perfect example of this. He's clearly not in a state in which he can consent to being filmed and he doesn't seem to be doing well mentally, but they still filmed him anyway but the video doesn't really address this point.

Also, people being concerned about capturing stuff isn't new. Hell, even at the camp I used to go to, which had a no phones policy, people were still concerned about capturing what was going on around them and would carry cameras around. It's just that it's easier and more accessible now-a-days because we literally have a camera on us all the time now.

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

I have always wondered if there was an asteroid, what type of people would survive. I imagine the idiocracy residents would 100%.

Yeah, I think it's almost better to say 'I wish you a happy life and I hope the positives outweighs the negatives for you' rather than assuming what you don't know.

Probably only like 1% of rich people/survivalists who have bunkers would survive. The majority would most likely be filming that asteroid on their phones too stupid to realize they're about to die until it's too late.

I guess they just don't know how to give better advice.

So true. People are also afraid of telling people the damn truth. People often find satisfaction in making people feel better so they give them a false sense of hope.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Sooooo, you imply that there is nothing wrong with the people in this video, yet the video prompts the use of the word "weirdos" by you. Hmm, kind of hypocritical don't you think?

Every individual has their own personal views as to what they feel is causing a degradation of their quality of life. Who are you to dictate what that may be, or decide what a right or wrong answer to OPs question may be? For me it's the ever increasing amount of small annoyances I encounter in day-to-day life. We're a society full of zombies and attention-seekers. I can't even shop in the outdoor landscaping section of Lowe's without having to wait for a couple little girls to finish filming a Tiktok so I can get through the aisle with a quarter ton of pavers. The other day, someone smeared a happy face made of feces all over the wall in the restroom of my business.

You really think the internet is merely just forming an illusion that things are getting worse because we have more exposure to media? Well, I can assure you that we've had the ability to compile national data for decades. The numbers point to things getting worse.

And if you don't agree that is fine. But calling it pessimistic "bullcrap" because you have a different narrative is out of line.

First off, those statistics only focus on mass shootings, they only date back to the 1970s and onward, and are from one country. What I'm talking about are general trends across a global scale over a long period of time.

Secondly, I was implying that some parts of the video were criticizing people who weren't doing anything. There's a huge difference between a couple praticising puppy play in public versuses people recording a fireworks display. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.

Also, what does my post about not liking the video you posted have to do anything of this?
↓

Every individual has their own personal views as to what they feel is causing a degradation of their quality of life. Who are you to dictate what that may be, or decide what a right or wrong answer to OPs question may be? For me it's the ever increasing amount of small annoyances I encounter in day-to-day life. We're a society full of zombies and attention-seekers. I can't even shop in the outdoor landscaping section of Lowe's without having to wait for a couple little girls to finish filming a Tiktok so I can get through the aisle with a quarter ton of pavers. The other day, someone smeared a happy face made of feces all over the wall in the restroom of my business.

Last time I checked, I wasn't trying to invalidate why you feel as though there is a degradation in your quality of life. I was just talking about why I didn't like the video you posted, which is beause it felt overly pessemistic and was also judging some people who weren't even really doing anything. Sorry if it came off as though I trying to invaldiate your feelings. That was not my intention.


Also, I'm sorry OP. I feel like I accidentally derailed your thread a bit.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Also, what does my post about not liking the video you posted have to do anything of this?

I was just chronicaling real-life examples of how this type of behavior was affecting my everyday life and thus mental health. That's what is has to "do with any of this". I don't see things "getting better".

...and you absolutely were invalidating:

There are plenty of actual issues going on right now that easily point to that (the spread of misinformation, increasing political divides, the increasing wealth gap, etc) but none of these issues are actually being discussed in the video

by saying there are no "actual" issues being conveyed. Phone culture is without a doubt a major problem in society these days. And you don't have to be steadily consuming content to be affected by it. Sometimes "coming across them yourself" even one time is enough to be lifechanging. This dipshit was trying to post a video to his Snapchat using a street racing speedometer filter:

https://www.wptv.com/news/state/deadly-multi-car-crash-in-tampa-kills-3-adults-2-hildren

Now an innocent family is dead.

they only date back to the 1970s and onward

How far do we really need to go back to see there is an obvious trend?

I was just talking about why I didn't like the video you posted, which is beause it felt overly pessemistic

Big difference between this and bluntly calling it "bullcrap". Maybe you should choose your words more wisely in the future. And if being around pessimistic people isn't your cup of tea, perhaps this side of SaSu is not for you.

Also, I'm sorry OP. I feel like I accidentally derailed your thread a bit.

Not a derailment at all in my opinion. The question was general enough to invite a broad discussion and mentions the word "future".

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I was just chronicaling real-life examples of how this type of behavior was affecting my everyday life and thus mental health. That's what is has to "do with any of this". I don't see things "getting better".

...and you absolutely were invalidating:

by saying there are no "actual" issues being conveyed. Phone culture is without a doubt a major problem in society these days. And you don't have to be steadily consuming content to be affected by it. Sometimes "coming across them yourself" even one time is enough to be lifechanging. This dipshit was trying to post a video to his Snapchat using a street racing speedometer filter:

https://www.wptv.com/news/state/deadly-multi-car-crash-in-tampa-kills-3-adults-2-hildren

Now an innocent family is dead.


How far do we really need to go back to see there is an obvious trend?



Big difference between this and bluntly calling it "bullcrap". Maybe you should choose your words more wisely in the future. And if being around pessimistic people isn't your cup of tea, perhaps this side of SaSu is not for you.


Not a derailment at all in my opinion. The question was general enough to invite a broad discussion and mentions the word "future".

This is all that I got from your link:

Anyway, sorry if that's worsening your mental health and invalidating your experiences wasn't my intentions, but I still stand by my opinion that the video was just pessimistic bullcrap. Maybe it's just because of my own stubbornness, idk, but the video was just dumb.

Your video also doesn't even do a good job at addressing "phone culture". Rather than having an actual proper discussion on it, the dude instead just spends his time making surface-level complaints about phones and people. You could probably find better videos that offer a more in-depth discussion on this issue. The video wasn't "being blunt", it was just a video compilation with lackluser commentary recorded over it.

Also, I actually am pretty pessimistic, but I know when to acknowledge when said pessimism isn't going anywhere and is just making me look like an idiot (I'm already an idiot, so I don't need to make myself look like even more of one, lol). This type of surface-level pessimism gives off the same vibes that those "it will get better" people give. They both continually use biased observations to prove their points and look at the world in a very narrow way.

"Oh no, things always get better. Look at A,B,C".

"Oh no, things are only going to get worse from here on out. Just look at A,B,C".

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

115.6 MPH Snap posted by girlfriend of driver that caused fatal crash that killed 5 people

A video posted on Snapchat at 9:38 p.m. would document the final minutes of Pablo Cortes III and his girlfriend Jolie Bartolome's lives.

www.wflx.com

Also, I actually am pretty pessimistic, but I know when to acknowledge when said pessimism isn't going anywhere and is just making me look like an idiot (I'm already an idiot, so I don't need to make myself look like even more of one, lol).

Sounds like you're passive aggressively trying to call me an idiot lol.

(the spread of misinformation, increasing political divides, the increasing wealth gap, etc)

Literally just as "biased" and literally in "A, B, C" format lol.

There are at least 5 other people here that indicated that they see my point by posting the video. And I am satisfied with that. If you don't, it really doesn't effect me either way.

I am now recognizing that gaslighting is your thing, so I will respectfully be muting you now. No need to comment any further.