For me personally it felt good to open up to people about my suffering. I have some close friends who care about me. But I know I had a lot of luck with that other people in this forum made way worse experiences.
I more or less had to open up after my first psychosis. Because I could only think of suicide for almost a year. I could barely talk about anything else. I developed some sick fantasies how I could kill myself. I was young and I was very much overwhelmed. If something like that would repeat I had way more precise/serious plans how to kill myself. I did not have much information about methods to that time. My family was often around so I barely had any opportunity anyway. I bought me a tent just for laying in it and imagining how I could kill myself. To that time I also grilled a lot with my family. My mom knew about both. I imagined to use the grills for the CO method. But this all was not that serious
My mom who abused me as a child and caused my conditions hit me even one day when I told her I want to die. I found that extremely cynical. When I confronted them with their guilt they told me I was unthankful.
Yeah maybe this was an example for the opposite of getting acknowlegement. I don't regret to tell my family about my struggle. They understand they have made a lot of horrible things to me. I am glad I was honest. Confronting them with the truth helped to comfort me. They are still idiots. I talked with them a lot about my suicidality and not all responses were good. But if I make a consideration whether it was worth it I can say honestly yes. But that is up to the individual. My sister has another approach to that. She wants that our parents say sorry to her without addressing the issue. Yeah she will never get the apology because our parents are stupid as fuck. I have explained to my dad what a mania is like a thousand times and he is just too stupid. He also forgets the most I tell him after we talk. But my parents know they did something horrible. And I think both feel guilty. Not as much as they should but my honest talk helped a little bit. The thing what is annoying about my parents but maybe this happens to most people. If you don't remind them that you suffer they just forget it. I had this experience quite often. My family feels bad when I tell them yeah I really struggle. But when I don't remind them they treat me as if I was doing fine. I also explained them this phenomena. But they are just too stupid.
With my friends I have made better experiences. They understand me way better. I tell them almost everything. They know how serious I am about killing myself. That I am really desperate and barely see no other escape. It feels good that they care about me. I am sometimes scared to leave scars in them when I kill myself. But I would never cut ties. I think such a step would further let me feel like I was with the back to the wall.
Some professionals care about me. They acknowledge how horrible my abuse was. Though I also made a bad experience. My current therapist don't believes me that I have OCD. I am pretty sure I have it. But my obsessions are kind of weird. This is why the tests don't confirm it. Yeah I was a little bit disappointed when he did not care about my arguments. But there are worse things.
I get some affirmative action because I am disabled. I like that. At college the administration knows I am ill. I don't think I have to feel ashamed about it. To get some better treatment feels good. There should be way more affirmative action for disabled people. It feels like an acknowledgement.
This thread should have been way more coherent. But I am again and again in this thread concerning weed. Sorry for that.
I more or less had to open up after my first psychosis. Because I could only think of suicide for almost a year. I could barely talk about anything else. I developed some sick fantasies how I could kill myself. I was young and I was very much overwhelmed. If something like that would repeat I had way more precise/serious plans how to kill myself. I did not have much information about methods to that time. My family was often around so I barely had any opportunity anyway. I bought me a tent just for laying in it and imagining how I could kill myself. To that time I also grilled a lot with my family. My mom knew about both. I imagined to use the grills for the CO method. But this all was not that serious
My mom who abused me as a child and caused my conditions hit me even one day when I told her I want to die. I found that extremely cynical. When I confronted them with their guilt they told me I was unthankful.
Yeah maybe this was an example for the opposite of getting acknowlegement. I don't regret to tell my family about my struggle. They understand they have made a lot of horrible things to me. I am glad I was honest. Confronting them with the truth helped to comfort me. They are still idiots. I talked with them a lot about my suicidality and not all responses were good. But if I make a consideration whether it was worth it I can say honestly yes. But that is up to the individual. My sister has another approach to that. She wants that our parents say sorry to her without addressing the issue. Yeah she will never get the apology because our parents are stupid as fuck. I have explained to my dad what a mania is like a thousand times and he is just too stupid. He also forgets the most I tell him after we talk. But my parents know they did something horrible. And I think both feel guilty. Not as much as they should but my honest talk helped a little bit. The thing what is annoying about my parents but maybe this happens to most people. If you don't remind them that you suffer they just forget it. I had this experience quite often. My family feels bad when I tell them yeah I really struggle. But when I don't remind them they treat me as if I was doing fine. I also explained them this phenomena. But they are just too stupid.
With my friends I have made better experiences. They understand me way better. I tell them almost everything. They know how serious I am about killing myself. That I am really desperate and barely see no other escape. It feels good that they care about me. I am sometimes scared to leave scars in them when I kill myself. But I would never cut ties. I think such a step would further let me feel like I was with the back to the wall.
Some professionals care about me. They acknowledge how horrible my abuse was. Though I also made a bad experience. My current therapist don't believes me that I have OCD. I am pretty sure I have it. But my obsessions are kind of weird. This is why the tests don't confirm it. Yeah I was a little bit disappointed when he did not care about my arguments. But there are worse things.
I get some affirmative action because I am disabled. I like that. At college the administration knows I am ill. I don't think I have to feel ashamed about it. To get some better treatment feels good. There should be way more affirmative action for disabled people. It feels like an acknowledgement.
This thread should have been way more coherent. But I am again and again in this thread concerning weed. Sorry for that.
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