This is why I always say. I'd rather have situational depression then just plain old depression. If it's situational, you have a reason to keep fighting. General depression is a cunt of the highest degree. I'll be happy one moment and then all of a sudden it's just this wave of nothing. Every time I smile my mind screams at me that I'm not allowed to feel that way. It's crushing. To make it clear, I do have a direct reason to commit suicide but it cannot be fixed. It's apart of who I am. I am not speaking about issues like that or physical pain, I'm talking about things like GENUINE temporary issues
Yea if my issues weren't permanent, or there was a way to resolve them that didn't cost exuberant amounts of money, time, and high risk of making things worse, etc etc etc. Then that would be another thing entirely.
I'm not sure most people with situational depression would necessarily know it was temporary though. Sometimes things get better. Sometimes they don't. I guess one has to have a real grasp on how grim the future could be vs the likelihood of problems being solved.
You also aren't going to be getting out unscathed either way. Even if my hell was obliterated tomorrow, I would still never experience anything the same ever again. Major PTSD basically.
Although I do get spots of depression that is not for a reason, it is never alone and always coexists with the much bigger fish (for me) of situational depression. Unfortunately my situation is not temporary, and if it ever was, it is no longer. I'm between a rock and a hard place. Cornered. Trapped.
You said you have plain old depression and also a reason that is now a part of you, I'm curious if you "feel" them coexist? As two separate entities?
For me, the permanent situational one feels like it has a giant root that I can't dig up or burn out of the ground.. and the one without reason feels like a poisonous fog.
