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Crematoryy

Crematoryy

Wandering endlessly
Feb 12, 2025
51
When comparing my previous situation with my current one, I conclude that I have gone from a state of "intolerable suffering" to a state of "tolerable suffering". Before, I would not get out of bed and would sleep 20 hours a day to become unconscious. Now, I have returned to being minimally functional. But I would not say that things are going well; they tend to decline and worsen over time.

Maybe I have become more resilient to certain types of pain? Because I feel that after so many disappointments, nothing surprises me anymore. I don't care whether I live or die. My fear is that things will return to being intolerable -- as they are destined to do.
 
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DivineSpark

DivineSpark

Specialist
Feb 9, 2025
308
I have been struggling for last 8 years, anxiety, anhedonia, despair, emptiness, pain. Lately it has gotten more intense...I dont think things will get better. I feel like there is no way out. My life is struggle and suffering, thats it. I barely experience any positive emotions (joy, peace, pleasure)
 
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Crematoryy

Crematoryy

Wandering endlessly
Feb 12, 2025
51
I have been struggling for last 8 years, anxiety, anhedonia, despair, emptiness, pain. Lately it has gotten more intense...I dont think things will get better. I feel like there is no way out. My life is struggle and suffering, thats it. I barely experience any positive emotions (joy, peace, pleasure)
Pleasure is universally accessible to humans, as their brains produce pleasure themselves using chemicals. It only requires sensory input to be released. But perhaps you are not referring to hedonic pleasure, but to a more sophisticated source of pleasure? (Since your body is capable of orgasming at any time)
 
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DivineSpark

DivineSpark

Specialist
Feb 9, 2025
308
Pleasure is universally accessible to humans, as their brains produce pleasure themselves using chemicals. It only requires sensory input to be released. But perhaps you are not referring to hedonic pleasure, but to a more sophisticated source of pleasure? (Since your body is capable of orgasming at any time)
My schizophrenia meds has pretty much destroyed my libido, so I dont get that type of pleasure.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
41,150
No matter what I'll always find it unbearable to exist, to me existing is only suffering and it's suffering only non-existence can bring me relief from, I just want to never suffer ever again, I see existence as the most futile and torturous burden and it's one I never was meant for and never would had chose.

I always have so much dread for what lies ahead in this reality where there is no limit as to how much one can suffer just to die in agony from old age, to me existence itself is the true problem and I find it deeply undesirable to exist. I suffer so much from how I cannot just have the option to just painlessly cease existing with no risks of it going wrong and leading to way worse suffering and torture, to me existence really does feel like a mistake that causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for, I'd never wish for any of this suffering, I always find it so dreadful to exist and I suffer simply from existing.
 
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Ligottian

Paragon
Dec 19, 2021
917
If my life was truly intolerable I would not be typing this.
 
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davidtorez

davidtorez

Wizard
Mar 8, 2024
604
If my life was truly intolerable I would not be typing this.
Thats exactly what I thought when I read the title of this thread! The fact that were all still here typing means we're tolerating whatever it is we're going through!
 
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