Is Your Decision To CTB Related More To Feelings Of Anger or Sadness?

[DeathMarch66]

Is Your Decision To CTB Related More To Feelings Of Anger or Sadness?

 

[melodrama]

Sadness for sure. This may sound strange, but anger is what gave me the strength to live before, like a fuel. I can no longer be angry because sadness and disgust consumed me.

 

[MrDarkness]

I'm just so lonely, I wish to die, I just want someone to tell me they love me. That won't happen my time is near anyway

 

[feder]

Hoplessnes more than anything, i don't believe I have a "bright" future ahead of me even though everyone says I do. I don't believe I'll find someone who genuinely likes me for who I am. Being alive is just not worth it to me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's a whole mixture of things for me now. It definitely was sadness when I first experienced ideation but that was decades ago. I'm not deeply upset or terribly angry now. It's a lot more placid than that! I feel like- after 43 years, I know myself. I know what I enjoy in life and what I don't. I simply don't think life is worth it! Perhaps it's closest to apathy but it isn't really that either because I do still enjoy some things. I just don't enjoy the majority of them!

One of those documentaries on suicide called 'Death Leap' had a psychiatrist in it who said he thought most people who committed suicide were angry. I think there is often anger there. Resentment at the very least. I guess I do have anger to some extent. Just at how the world is I suppose. But then- I guess- knowing we can't change it and we don't necessarily want to adapt to fit in it- maybe that's what makes us sad.

I think- by my sort of age though- it's a whole mixture of emotions- sadness, loneliness, cynicism, pessimism, apathy, anger, resentment, rebellion, grief, fear. The more variation you get that all point in the same direction- the more you become convinced it's the right choice for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wouldn't really say I feel angry exactly, I just find existing to be something tiring and unappealing, I don't desire the process of slowly deteriorating from age just to suffer even more and die anyway, I've always wished for true peace from all the suffering which to me can only be found in non-existence.

And I just despise existence itself and how it causes so much unnecessary torture to be experienced, existence is just way to cause harm and I personally always view it as being preferable to not exist, so I would say sadness as well as dread for what lies ahead. I just find it sad how I even had to exist in the first place, there should had just been nothingness instead.