Is this subtle narcissism or a genuine reason to CTB?

[JOkE2109]

I feel like everyone who is genuinely happy doesn't fully understand the world they are living in, or chooses to ignore it and believe that their life is good enough and doesn't care that they are contributing to a horrid system that perpetuates suffering. In real life, people often think I am intelligent, like people just assume that I like math from the way I look. I (don't like it) but subtly have this view on myself too. I try and think outside the box a lot and gain a wider perspective. My mother described me as neurodivergent once, and (since that was coming from a time where I was more naive, and more influenced by stigmas) I thought she was trying to say I was "special", though she affirmed that she meant it in a good way as in intelligence. So, the point I'm trying to get onto here is that since I have qualities of high intelligence, I feel like I am able to view the world in a "true lens" and I feel as if I see that we are all being conditioned into a system that promotes harmful suffering onto us, and that other people who don't see through it willingly conform themselves to it in a belief that they'll be happy following a traditional life of working, raising a family, growing old, and dying of natural causes. Lots of people are very happy with this, and have a good life in their point of view. And then there's also a lot of people who struggle with this outlook on life, and are crushed by the realities that they can't fulfill the image of this, or despise it (like myself) and are inevitably rejected by majority of society for a unique view on life.

I wish I could be less like this. I wish that I could be unaware of all this and conform in blind happiness. I actually envy people who are able to be happy. I miss being a child (I'm very lucky that I didn't have a bad childhood, which a lot of people end up CBT'ing over) as I was super naive and my default emotion was happiness, and I didn't understand sadness on a grand scale. It was the only time I was genuinely happy. I was also special to people, and my life was more precious and valuable and I could feel love and affection. Now I just don't really feel anything anymore, except nostalgia for those times, which usually ends up with temporary sadness before back to being emotionally numb and fueling my self hatred and miserableness. This is why I'm going to CTB, I just can't be happy in a world like this.

This got kind of long. But what do you think? Can anyone relate?

 

[Sleeper System]

View attachment Voice 02.mp3

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I feel like everyone who is genuinely happy doesn't fully understand the world they are living in, or chooses to ignore it and believe that their life is good enough and doesn't care that they are contributing to a horrid system that perpetuates suffering. In real life, people often think I am intelligent, like people just assume that I like math from the way I look. I (don't like it) but subtly have this view on myself too. I try and think outside the box a lot and gain a wider perspective. My mother described me as neurodivergent once, and (since that was coming from a time where I was more naive, and more influenced by stigmas) I thought she was trying to say I was "special", though she affirmed that she meant it in a good way as in intelligence. So, the point I'm trying to get onto here is that since I have qualities of high intelligence, I feel like I am able to view the world in a "true lens" and I feel as if I see that we are all being conditioned into a system that promotes harmful suffering onto us, and that other people who don't see through it willingly conform themselves to it in a belief that they'll be happy following a traditional life of working, raising a family, growing old, and dying of natural causes. Lots of people are very happy with this, and have a good life in their point of view. And then there's also a lot of people who struggle with this outlook on life, and are crushed by the realities that they can't fulfill the image of this, or despise it (like myself) and are inevitably rejected by majority of society for a unique view on life.

I wish I could be less like this. I wish that I could be unaware of all this and conform in blind happiness. I actually envy people who are able to be happy. I miss being a child (I'm very lucky that I didn't have a bad childhood, which a lot of people end up CBT'ing over) as I was super naive and my default emotion was happiness, and I didn't understand sadness on a grand scale. It was the only time I was genuinely happy. I was also special to people, and my life was more precious and valuable and I could feel love and affection. Now I just don't really feel anything anymore, except nostalgia for those times, which usually ends up with temporary sadness before back to being emotionally numb and fueling my self hatred and miserableness. This is why I'm going to CTB, I just can't be happy in a world like this.

This got kind of long. But what do you think? Can anyone relate?

First off, do you need a reason to ctb? It's a moral philosophy in itself that ctb needs to be justified.

Your viewpoint isn't unpopular at all, many people no longer want to live under neoliberal capitalism and suffer working low paying jobs to no benefit to them. That's why movements like anti-work and lying flat exist now. I mean, you can choose to contribute positively by doing something like advocacy to dismantle those systems, studying social sciences, writing social theory, sending letters to politicians, joining advocacy groups. And as I've learned with all history, all government systems get replaced eventually and none have lasted for that long. Even now, the younger generation really hates our current system and wants to change it in favor of giving everyone a livable wage. In my opinion, we will be free from this social system within our lifetime. Nobody wants to keep living like this.

You sound like you live in a conservative bubble, because only Republicans and rich snobs believe in that nonsense. Trust me when the majority of the world doesn't believe that we should live this way.

I get what you mean. We built a world that is depressing. The people in that world become depressed. And then the world blames us for our depression. It isn't your fault. That being said, I sense that change will come soon enough. I remember that only 10 years ago, the culture was completely different, and now we've moved really far into not accepting working excessive hours and demanding fair pay.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Just about every life form in existence, with the exception of trees, is part of a zero sum game of survival. For one organism to gain, another organism likely has to lose.

For a virus to live, a host must be ill. For a wolf to live, pigs must die. For some man in India to put food on the table for his family, he must scam some grandmother halfway across the world in the United States. For Jeff Bezos to buy a quarter of a billion dollar yacht, he must exploit thousands of desperate people willing to work for less than a comfortable living wage.

Every aspect of living things involves having to fend off some other creature that is trying to consume you for its own benefit and comfort. Even if you're successful and comfortable, it's almost guaranteed that someone else had to be consumed, reduced or taken advantage of in order for you to be. It's fucking exhausting and pointless. Being dead and non-existent just makes so much more sense.