Is there someone you can talk to about your situation irl, or are you on your own ?

[Ol Messier 87]

 

[hopscotch]

im on my own. i dont talk to anyone about anything irl or online, bar in these forums, LOL! i dont want to burden other people with knowing how unhappy i am when im so determined to refuse to get better, that seems like it would only hurt anyone who cared about me. also my whole life ive been hiding this, to the point that it's incredibly difficult for me to even say such things out loud whispering in the privacy of my apartment. i think if i spoke to another person about it i would commit to ctb out of shame on the spot

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm on my own. I only want to share my issues to those who can actually understand me, not to those who can't. Many people irl can't understand me as my views are incredibly different to theirs. Not even everybody on this site can understand me but at least a few people here do relate to certain parts of me and I think that's good enough for me to share my issues here. However, nobody irl would understand any part of me and what I'm going through. They would just ridicule and make fun of me for my suffering and issues

 

[Ol Messier 87]

im on my own. i dont talk to anyone about anything irl or online, bar in these forums, LOL! i dont want to burden other people with knowing how unhappy i am when im so determined to refuse to get better, that seems like it would only hurt anyone who cared about me. also my whole life ive been hiding this, to the point that it's incredibly difficult for me to even say such things out loud whispering in the privacy of my apartment. i think if i spoke to another person about it i would commit to ctb out of shame on the spot

I can definitely relate to this. I've never talked about it to anyone my entire life either, except for a close friend who is in a similar situation but for different reasons. It feels good to be able to talk freely about it irl, even though it's not enough to actually solve the problem (in my case, at least).

 

[Holu]

Technically I have people, but I know their response to whatever I say, and so it's best I withhold it. At one point I had two I could share, but the shared nature of being suicidal got to them first. I hope that I'll be allowed to join them soon.

 

[Ol Messier 87]

I'm on my own. I only want to share my issues to those who can actually understand me, not to those who can't. Many people irl can't understand me as my views are incredibly different to theirs. Not even everybody on this site can understand me but at least a few people here do relate to certain parts of me and I think that's good enough for me to share my issues here. However, nobody irl would understand any part of me and what I'm going through. They would just ridicule and make fun of me for my suffering and issues

Indeed, there are as many reasons to commit suicide as there are suicidal people. And it is always difficult to understand the logic behind a particular suicidal tendency, even when you're experiencing it yourself. Family, difficult to talk to (in my case), but maybe friends ? Don't have even one dude who might possibly understand a little what you're going through without him, or she, thinking that it's ridiculous ?

Technically I have people, but I know their response to whatever I say, and so it's best I withhold it. At one point I had two I could share, but the shared nature of being suicidal got to them first. I hope that I'll be allowed to join them soon.

Sorry to read that, I wish you the best.

 

[deathtakeme]

I'm so alone that not even i understand me. It hurts.

 

[hopscotch]

funny to say, i had a suicidal friend who passed a few years back, and never once did i tell him i was suicidal. we dodged the topic until the end. i suspect he must have thought as much (my being suicidal) from my steadfast support of his plans when he announced them but in any case i never explicitly said so.

(i forgot to reply to @/holu)

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Indeed, there are as many reasons to commit suicide as there are suicidal people. And it is always difficult to understand the logic behind a particular suicidal tendency, even when you're experiencing it yourself. Family, difficult to talk to (in my case), but maybe friends ? Don't have even one dude who might possibly understand a little what you're going through without him, or she, thinking that it's ridiculous ?

Not irl as I don't have any friends irl at all. However, I do have some online friends that understand parts of me. Those people are from this site

 

[Ol Messier 87]

Not irl as I don't have any friends irl at all. However, I do have some online friends that understand parts of me. Those people are from this site

Never tried support groups or stuff like that ? (I don't think that even exists in my country)

I'm so alone that not even i understand me. It hurts.

I'm sure you do understand yourself, and your condition, at least in broad outline.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

Nope.

 

[notsadtogo]

On my own. If I told people they would never understand, they would just think I'm selfish for leaving loved ones.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Never tried support groups or stuff like that ? (I don't think that even exists in my country)

Nope, I never tried any support groups or anything like that. Besides, I have a feeling that support groups won't be able to understand me anyway. I don't want to downplay anybody's issues but I think that the issues that these people have would be trivial compared to what me and people on this site go through. There's no place irl for people like me, there just isn't

 

[mercutiomartis]

I don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff, and whenever the topic comes up with my family I just deny deny deny

 

[peaceandlove]

When you try to "talk about it" with anybody who's never been there, all you get is locked up. "Help" can be dangerous.

 

[ham and potatoes]

I'm basically alone on this, not trying to scare away my friends or burden my family.
That's why I came here! Here I can burden Internet strangers

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I am way beyond being on my own, it feels as if I am the only one on earth irl due to how lonely I am. I don't believe I have a family anymore since the I noticed the abuse and since it got worse, driving me insane. I have no friends anymore or partner either, I am completely on my own except my online life. My online self is one of the things I treasure the most as it's the only way I can safely express myself with. Without my online friends and this place I would literally unironically go insane. I wish I had at least someone. Although I technically have my cousin I don't think it'd be right to tell her about my situation or else I would just give her trauma by CTBing leaving her to think about what she could've done to help me... Not her fault so I think it's best to keep her out of the loop for her wellbeing. That aside: no one is left. Just me, my head, my mind and the voices inside of it.

 

[deathsisarelief]

I am way beyond being on my own, it feels as if I am the only one on earth irl due to how lonely I am. I don't believe I have a family anymore since the I noticed the abuse and since it got worse, driving me insane. I have no friends anymore or partner either, I am completely on my own except my online life. My online self is one of the things I treasure the most as it's the only way I can safely express myself with. Without my online friends and this place I would literally unironically go insane. I wish I had at least someone. Although I technically have my cousin I don't think it'd be right to tell her about my situation or else I would just give her trauma by CTBing leaving her to think about what she could've done to help me... Not her fault so I think it's best to keep her out of the loop for her wellbeing. That aside: no one is left. Just me, my head, my mind and the voices inside of it.

i feel the same as you, i am alone, i have no real friends, no partner, and i can't tell anyone of my family what i'm passing through, they would judge me instead of helping me.

 

[username12345]

There's no one that's one of the reasons why I'm suicidal. I lost everything and nothing in my old life has been replaced by anything/anyone new. It's just been years and years of losing more and more and being harassed and not having food or housing.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I was thrown away decades ago.

No way in hell I would share anything about how I'm feeling mentally with anyone in my life. There aren't many of them - a few family members but no friends. I have one person who's moving to another city, and I'm kind of thankful that is an easy clean goodbye. I don't want authorities and some stupid 'mental health intervention' trying to make me feel health. I am going to die. That's set.

I feel bad for my therapist but what can you do. I will lie and tell them I'm moving - which is true - and that will be that.

The rest I used to know stopped texting so I am going to delete all social media so there's no way any of them will know. I love the idea of being invisible and knowing not one person has my phone number. Since everyone is disposable and uses everyone anyway nobody will notice or care.

 

[rebelnow111]

on my own

 

[Davey40210]

To all of you that are alone, let me know if you want to message or speak and I can do that.

I am actually not alone with friends and siblings ready to help me. But I have only told them in a careful way, like "I wouldnt mind if I died" or "I dont know what the hangup is about suicide, it's not so bad". They are worried but I dont think they understand the depths of it. I told my gf directly that I wanted to CTB and her reaction was to panic and tell my family, and then leave me.

I realize its not very attractive if you say you want to die. So fair enough to her. But it still hurts.

 

[Ol Messier 87]

Nope, I never tried any support groups or anything like that. Besides, I have a feeling that support groups won't be able to understand me anyway. I don't want to downplay anybody's issues but I think that the issues that these people have would be trivial compared to what me and people on this site go through. There's no place irl for people like me, there just isn't

I understand, it turns out that I have someone to talk to in real life who is well placed to understand what it is (even though we don't talk about it that often either), and while it's true that it frees up in a very momentary way, it doesn't change the underlying problem which remains very firmly rooted deep down. But I ask this because, since such groups exist, I tell myself that they must be useful to some people.

To all of you that are alone, let me know if you want to message or speak and I can do that.

I am actually not alone with friends and siblings ready to help me. But I have only told them in a careful way, like "I wouldnt mind if I died" or "I dont know what the hangup is about suicide, it's not so bad". They are worried but I dont think they understand the depths of it. I told my gf directly that I wanted to CTB and her reaction was to panic and tell my family, and then leave me.

I realize its not very attractive if you say you want to die. So fair enough to her. But it still hurts.

Yes, people are afraid to even hear about this topic, way more than we are obviously.

I am way beyond being on my own, it feels as if I am the only one on earth irl due to how lonely I am. I don't believe I have a family anymore since the I noticed the abuse and since it got worse, driving me insane. I have no friends anymore or partner either, I am completely on my own except my online life. My online self is one of the things I treasure the most as it's the only way I can safely express myself with. Without my online friends and this place I would literally unironically go insane. I wish I had at least someone. Although I technically have my cousin I don't think it'd be right to tell her about my situation or else I would just give her trauma by CTBing leaving her to think about what she could've done to help me... Not her fault so I think it's best to keep her out of the loop for her wellbeing. That aside: no one is left. Just me, my head, my mind and the voices inside of it.

This must be even harder than I could imagine. But even irl, it requires finding someone who is able to truly understand this situation, which is not easy to find. And even then, it only offers momentary comfort, fundamentally the problem remains the same.
I wish you the best.