Is there meaning in the pursuit of meaning or is it just a never ending road of delusion

[JudasWolverton]

I'm so sad and I don't know why. I've had a good day. I'll never feel normal. Im gonna ctb before Im 20

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry you are in such a bad place. I suppose only we can judge what feels meaningful and fulfilling in life. I certainly think we can find a sense of purpose in pursuing what we ourselves find meaningful. What that is will vary person to person. I guess I do wonder if everyone has that though. Things like anhedonia are likely to put a stop to a lot of it. Do you feel you suffer with that? Has there been a change for you? Did you used to have things you wanted to pursue?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Welcome to the forum! Without knowing more about you and your personal situation it's difficult so say anything. You seem to be very young when u plan to CTB before 20 bc of this. Nobody knows what can give meaning to your life. Do you have an diagnosis of MH issues or the like? If not you should consult a professional.

Why don't you feel "normal"? Don't compare yourself to others what is "normal" - that's pretty much subjective!