Is there anything that would stop you from CTB?

[lok_sat]

honestly ? if i could transition and have the people im attached to be around 24/7 would probably have me reconsider cbt

 

[merryberry]

If I could drop out of school and move to a peaceful, warm country with lush nature, draw and paint more and have a lover or a close friend who'd support and deeply understand me. I think I'm really hit by "kaamosmasennus" (Depression which intensifies from living in a nordic country during the dark, cold winter. The sun doesn't rise above the horizon here.)

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Nothing could stop me from killing these 30 trillion monstrous cells they call a human body i'm imprisoned in.

I want nothing from this evil prison world and evil life

the only thing i want is to move me closer to my suicide and those are the only things that matter to me whether something moves me closer or farther away from my suicide

likewise i couldn't care less about this evil world , or what another small animal a human does whether they want to live for a while longer is of no interest to me . we all die anyway. what another animal does especially a stranger has no effect on me .

 

[Nicholas22231]

Probably money, and a good job that gives me purpose and community + a girlfriend\ a group of friends that I'd like to hang out with everyday.

But it won't entirely stop me from ctb just postpone it until my body inevitably deteriorates and it turns into fucking body horror where I can't even shit by myself.

 

[Goosechan]

Apologies for the length of response Wanted to be sure you knew it is not quotes, just one soul to another that reading is as important as saying.

What a touching post. You write well. Your words took me on a small trip and in my mind I could see Turkey and Spain and Japan. Thanks for sharing all of that with us!

 

[nomoredolor]

I've thought for almost the past 20 years, since I was 12, that I would take my life. But if I had any of the below I would postpone that shit and try to stay alive long enough for something else to take me out:

Money to be out of poverty and afford Healthcare and jaw surgeries

My parents supporting me being queer

Able bodied (including able minded) and able to work full time
Anna

Same. With enough money I can do whatever I want. It won't change my mind to CTB but money would prolong my life.

Exactly^^^

 

[RoadToGehenna]

Love. But seems like I'm alone in this fight

 

[infidelity37]

Being with my love. That's all I want in life, but I wasn't good enough for him.

 

[Sutter]

What a touching post. You write well. Your words took me on a small trip and in my mind I could see Turkey and Spain and Japan. Thanks for sharing all of that with us!

Thank you Goosechan.

This is the only place I come to speak. I dont really know where my writing comes from, its not in my family. I read once that writing should be concise and simple with as few words as possible. I thought about that for fair bit. Then I thought about Michael Angelo and Leonardo DiVinci, when it came to painting they didnt put a single brush stroke of one color, they painted as they saw fit. So I threw that idea out.

It was always about reading something and it wasnt just words, it was like music but done with words. I had been introduced to the word play the vikings had once enjoyed. No cell phones, no computers, just a fire and a friends smile back then. Still though they wrote a saga. Hell the whole world did. Alot of books out there.

So on occasion I take my time to write and let my mind dance with the words as I place them.

I am American, in case there was doubt. Always a surprise to people that I would have been fine staying in a small town. That wasnt life's plan for me though. I have been to at least 18 different countries. Some as short as a couple days and others a year or more. My traveling days for the most part are done. I found no matter where I went people were the same. They all wanted respect, dignity, friendship, knowledge, an interest in them or their countries. The moments I wrote were real experiences. I keep my memories as fresh as I can for the people I had met, they deserve it.

So I wrote this as a thankyou and to open the curtains a bit more on myself. I am by far not a good word smith with I am sure a long way to go to ever get there. If you ask me though, if you read what I wrote and I was able to convey a feeling I had or paint a picture with words that you could wade in to, then that there is the greatest reward I would ever receive.

As the days wain its like I have diarrhea of the mind. Apologies for the firehose word reply. Hopefully these last words have been a sherbert and cleared your mental palette.

Thanks again Goosechan.

 

[folly_]

maybe something but i have no idea what that is

 

[Cyber4ngel!]

Money, at least it would prolong it, despite me searching for a job actively for 3 years I haven't got a single response back from no one, I was living with my abusive father who wouldn't even allow me to shower or eat (I was eating whatever scraps of his foods he threw out of the trash) and now I'm living with, surprise! My abusive brother, who is a little less worse because he let's me shower but I dont eat almost anything and he yells and says the most fucking barbaric things to me, now he is telling me that he will kick me out on the streets and I'm doing whatever I can to get money but I can't get more than 5 or 10 dollars a month, I am hungry, I am starved, i have no family left and I'm frantically trying to get a job so I can maybe sometime rent an apartment, I have a cat and he is the only reason I'm even still here. I wish I could get donations at least like my brother did, but tbh I feel shame in asking for help, even more if its money, still I AM A PERSON, and I have dreams and I would like to learn how to bake and fix computers, have a job m, I would like to be a bartender and have an apartment with my cat, and I am so sad I will never get to do any of that bc of money, lack of help and abusive family members

 

[littleadonis]

There's nothing I want other than to fall in love. I don't need anything else.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

A "natural death" or death by an accident or crime.

 

[AboutTom]

Unlimited free heroin

 

[L'absent]

Yes. If I were to remain in a vegetative state due to some accident. If they imprisoned me (mostly the state already does this).

 

[unknown1918]

100 million dollars and some fine shyt

 

[cotton]

I'd rather be with my GF... Everything else is a bit of a distraction...

I might distract myself and try to make a difference but being with someone is what I like... If I have that, I guess I CBA to ctb for the time being. Just being with someone who puts value on time spent together and doesn't waste that time...

 

[nattanatta]

Getting the help I need. Unfortunately, I've been denied just that.

 

[aguilasinalas]

60k to give back to my parents that I spent in gambling. They still don't know.

 

[Wkoncuodejde]

60k to give back to my parents that I spent in gambling. They still don't know.

I'm in this shit too

 

[sylvey]

I can't die before my dog.

 

[ZeroM24]

The only thing keeping me alive is my addiction to media and cause Im without a job currently so I can just stay home almost every day and dont have to see anyone else. If I still had my old job I would have done it already for sure, because my reasons for being suicidal cant be fixed, only ignored for some time. Dont know how long I can avoid it...or why I dont just do it. Survival instinct is such a fucked up thing.

 

[albert_camus]

The combination of having a child, a lot of money, a healthy brain and body, a healthy stable relationship and no fear of the future.