Discussion is there any point?

[venua]

What's the point of pursuing anything? When I'm just going to die anyways? I won't make an impact, I'll just be another satistic when I go anyways. I don't see the point in college, It's not like I'm good at anything. Everything I have interest in is vapid. I just see zero point in anything at all, even if it makes me "happy".

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Hello @angelcumclean,

I'm so sorry what you are enduring.
Feeling of meaninglessness is terrible, especially when you are exhausted, as you said in another thread. Personally, when I was severely depressed, I thought everything I do was pointless, unless it's a CTB attempt.

So I tried to do partial hanging, as a next logical move. Feeling of meaningless was simply too much for me.

Obviously I didn't completed CTBing and fortunately the situation greatly improved since then, but I still think I can't do anything serious in my life.

I just see zero point in anything at all, even if it makes me "happy".

This forum seems to be my everything for now, and I'm ashamed of it. This forum made me happy to the point where I could postpone my CTB indefinitely, but frankly, I don't know what's the point in my life. I'm not a Beachy Head chaplain, an Aokigahara forest patrol or anybody like that. I want to make people's life a bit less unbearable if I can, but I know I can't "save" anybody.

If you are comfortable with, please tell me what makes you happy

I won't make an impact, I'll just be another satistic when I go anyways.

I might be able to relate to you. When I searched for information about suicide, Google actually gave me a lot of statistics, aside from pro-life nonsense.
But please know that you are not just a part of statistics, at least for me.

People here are really caring, so I hope your life will be a bit less unbearable

Love,
LoiteringClouds

 

[venua]

Hello @angelcumclean,

I'm so sorry what you are enduring.
Feeling of meaninglessness is terrible, especially when you are exhausted, as you said in another thread. Personally, when I was severely depressed, I thought everything I do was pointless, unless it's a CTB attempt.

So I tried to do partial hanging, as a next logical move. Feeling of meaningless was simply too much for me.

Obviously I didn't completed CTBing and fortunately the situation greatly improved since then, but I still think I can't do anything serious in my life.


This forum seems to be my everything for now, and I'm ashamed of it. This forum made me happy to the point where I could postpone my CTB indefinitely, but frankly, I don't know what's the point in my life. I'm not a Beachy Head chaplain, an Aokigahara forest patrol or anybody like that. I want to make people's life a bit less unbearable if I can, but I know I can't "save" anybody.

If you are comfortable with, please tell me what makes you happy


I might be able to relate to you. When I searched for information about suicide, Google actually gave me a lot of statistics, aside from pro-life nonsense.
But please know that you are not just a part of statistics, at least for me.

People here are really caring, so I hope your life will be a bit less unbearable

Love,
LoiteringClouds

Thank you so much for your kinds words <3
And reading your reply, I can say with certainty you've made my day better.

What makes me happy? - Well, I enjoy reading. That's quite calming.. Music too. Writing has always been a passion, but like I said in my post, I don't think I'd persue it..

 

[Forever Sleep]

Only a tiny fraction of us will be good/ lucky enough to be successful enough to be remembered. That can be difficult to judge at a young age though... Some people show enormous promise and later just fizzle out. Some bloom later in life. Bear in mind one of Einstein's teachers said: 'You will never amount to anything.'

I think a lot of it is just about making our time here as bearable as possible though. Seeing as we spend so much of our lives working, it makes sense to be to try to find a job in a subject you at least find fulfilling. Still- it's important to be realistic too I think. I was really stupid in trying to pursue a creative job. I probably would have been better focusing on learning a trade- where I could still use practical skills- but be more employable. An apprenticeship probably would have been a better course for me.

There again, I've also known people who simply have passions elsewhere- like travelling. They would literally earn enough to go to some exotic place and then go. Then, repeat the cycle. Really- whatever you want to do is up to you. Probably a good idea to try and work out what it is though- so you can work your way towards it. I wish you luck!

 

[venua]

Thank you - I wish you well.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I could never see one, I'm just waiting around for death, destined to decay until this existence is forgotten about. I could never see existing as being something appealing or desirable, it's futile, unnecessary and just leads to suffering.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Thank you so much for your kinds words <3
And reading your reply, I can say with certainty you've made my day better.

Thanks for your reply, and you are kind, too

What makes me happy? - Well, I enjoy reading. That's quite calming.. Music too. Writing has always been a passion, but like I said in my post, I don't think I'd persue it..

I think reading helps you not to sink into a rabbit hole of depression, and sometimes it's even life-changing, but I have a problem; I tend to seek instant gratification and don't want to read a full length novel when I'm depressed. How about you?

Writing a full length novel requires great fortitude and dogged perseverance, and you would have to overcome countless periods of writer's block, so how about writing short stories?
I often write short poems and post them here, and it gives me some sense of purpose.

 

[J&L383]

Music for me has been a constant source comfort and joy. Various hobbies have come and gone. And I've managed to "make a living" if not a career. Recently I discovered I can write short stories which I always hated to do when I was in school. But it's not like I'm going to be published. But I've never had the kind of social network a person should have in order to try to sustain life. (And I have my theories on that). So that's been frustrating. I think that there's technically an infinite amount of things you can discover while you're alive but for me I am in a state where life is lost its luster and it's not easy to get my way out of this. Hence my journey to this site where I could speak freely. I'm at the age now where the end is closer than the beginning was, and so taking stock of whatever the rest of my life is going to be is dominating my thought processes. Ultimately, it seems that if you can make even a small difference somehow somewhere with someone or something, that can help sustain you until the next day.