is the urge to tell people im suicidal proof im not actually?

[exhaustedanonymous]

or does it just mean im a bitch?

i want to tell my friends im suicidal. i want them to care about it. i want them- especially her, oh god especially her- to talk with me about it. i want to talk about it freely and just.. i don't know. they're prolife, obviously, but maybe even if they spent the whole time arguing with me and trying to make me stay.. at least i could just talk. at least they would somewhat care.

this isnt fair. i dont understand my impulse to constantly talk about it.

 

[cassxtho]

It's perfectly reasonable. You can talk about it online as much as you want but it'll never be like venting to somebody you know (and care about) for real. Even in-person therapy won't help as much as a heart-to-heart with a friend.

 

[Spiked_Coffee]

i want to tell my friends im suicidal. i want them to care about it. i want them- especially her, oh god especially her- to talk with me about it. i want to talk about it freely and just.. i don't know. they're prolife, obviously, but maybe even if they spent the whole time arguing with me and trying to make me stay.. at least i could just talk. at least they would somewhat care.

It seems to me (correct me if i am wrong) that you feel lonely because noone is feeling how you feel, like some kind of an outsider. Those are awful feelings and i understand you, what i want to tell you it wont help you, like at all, i tried it, i was talking with my girlfriend about it, and it helped for a few days only, after that it was all as it was. Maybe it would help if you had someone who was feeling how you feel maybe then, i dont know, i didnt check, though only thing that helped me is venting on this forum, like talking(writing) your emotions out and knowing that someone will read them with some love and understanding, this helped, maybe it will help you?
Much love

 

[Heartbroken2022]

That is perfectly natural to have such an urge. And I cannot say really what it shows. Maybe that you are not fully decided yet? And that is good.

But my suggestion is, don't tell it to them/her.
I know temporarily you will feel good if you express your feelings, but long term it will just make things worse, since they will just feel pity of you and they will justify everything on that.
I don't know your case in detail, but that is my experience.

So, either speak to specialists or online or to people that really really care of you. Eventually, only yourself can help you. Unfortunately.

 

[jigsaw_falling]

or does it just mean im a bitch?

i want to tell my friends im suicidal. i want them to care about it. i want them- especially her, oh god especially her- to talk with me about it. i want to talk about it freely and just.. i don't know. they're prolife, obviously, but maybe even if they spent the whole time arguing with me and trying to make me stay.. at least i could just talk. at least they would somewhat care.

this isnt fair. i dont understand my impulse to constantly talk about it.

it doesn't make u less valid in being suicidal, and it doesn't make u a bitch. i definitely understand how u feel, and i've doubted a lot of my mental health issues bc of my desire to tell people about them.

but wanting to talk abt this, especially with people who care about you/ you care about, doesn't mean that you're lying to yourself about being suicidal or "faking it". and i promise it doesn't make you a bad person either. wanting help, or even just understanding from people who dont know what you're going through doesn't make you a bitch, and it makes a lot of sense to me because i've felt the same before.

do tell your friend/s if you want to, it can feel like you hold a little less of your burden. <3

 

[SamTam33]

Have you ever been around someone who was getting married or has kids of any age? How about a child who knows they're going to Disney World? Someone whose sports team is in the post season? Someone who bought a new boat and its summertime?

It's all they want to talk about. They have the ability to turn seemingly unrelated topics into conversations about their favorite topic.

People talk about that which consumes their thoughts.

Yet, it's only suicidal people who are led to believe that voicing their thoughts must mean something other than what we say they mean.

In any event, we can't trick people into caring. More often than not, they withdraw and/or call the cops on you. Most arguments in favor of staying are about what they don't want to deal with should you die. Everyone is different, but that POV doesn't give me the warm and fuzzies.

If I'm ready to die and I'm STILL trying to determine if you care - then what were the previous months/years for?

tl;dr - it's ok to talk about it but beware of possible consequences. Deep down you probably already know if they care or not.

 

[exhaustedanonymous]

It's all they want to talk about. They have the ability to turn seemingly unrelated topics into conversations about their favorite topic.

People talk about that which consumes their thoughts.

Yet, it's only suicidal people who are led to believe that voicing their thoughts must mean something other than what we say they mean.

ive nvr heard anyone describe it his way and i think thats very poetic in a way and i really like the way you put that

heart-to-heart with a friend

i need that so bad right now but i know i can't have it. breaks my heart that reality exists in a way that could make the one thing that might have a chance at motivation to wake up for longer than two more weeks (albeit, very, very, very small chance. like 0.001%. but still. that chance is there, i guess) is impossible for me to achieve cause lowkey the only way id get that chance is if someone else initiated the conversation, i think. but no one would ever ask me how im doing </3

i've doubted a lot of my mental health issues bc of my desire to tell people about them.

the strain of want makes everything so much worse. but im glad i've found people on here at least who can relate to what im dealing with <3

it's ok to talk about it but beware of possible consequences

but long term it will just make things worse

yeah, i know.. unfortunately. i had a scare for a bit when i was younger because my parents found out i was suicidal from one of my friends emailing them about a conversation i had had with him and that led to me almost getting sent to a wilderness therapy program.. like, a real bad one. one of them in the woods hundreds of miles from anywhere else. i've also been admitted against my will and all of that shit. but the heart wants what it wants, always, forever, and that doesnt stop till u drop

 

[SuicidalSheep]

Well I tell people basically anything and everything, especially things that weigh heavily on my mind, Whether it be an infodump on special interests or suicidal thoughts. Does me telling about suicidal thoughts, crying for help, wanting support/venting, or wanting some kind understanding/acknowlegementout of my suffering make the suffering less real? I doubt it.

 

[lionetta12]

or does it just mean im a bitch?

i want to tell my friends im suicidal. i want them to care about it. i want them- especially her, oh god especially her- to talk with me about it. i want to talk about it freely and just.. i don't know. they're prolife, obviously, but maybe even if they spent the whole time arguing with me and trying to make me stay.. at least i could just talk. at least they would somewhat care.

this isnt fair. i dont understand my impulse to constantly talk about it.

A lot of people want to talk about suicide, more than you think. But it's hard for most people to do so because of the stigma around it and how it's frowned upon by most people in society. It's weird how something that everyone will experience at some point, death, is such a dreaded and silenced topic.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's perfectly understandable wanting to be open about being suicidal and it doesn't automatically mean that you don't really want to die. People should be able have open conversations about their wish to die and be able to tell others in advance about their plans without being invalidated or shamed for it, but sadly we exist in this world where suicide is so stigmatised.

I believe that it's always a terrible idea being open about wanting to die as it could lead to others potentially interfering with suicide plans and there is just too many risks involved. There are so many people who won't even try to understand and refuse to accept that wanting suicide is a perfectly rational response to existing in this world. To me it's just so wrong the way that so many view suicide but sadly this is just the reality.

 

[HitBlackVein]

or does it just mean im a bitch?

i want to tell my friends im suicidal. i want them to care about it. i want them- especially her, oh god especially her- to talk with me about it. i want to talk about it freely and just.. i don't know. they're prolife, obviously, but maybe even if they spent the whole time arguing with me and trying to make me stay.. at least i could just talk. at least they would somewhat care.

this isnt fair. i dont understand my impulse to constantly talk about it.

No, it probably means that it's that bad that you feel a big need to reach help

 

[SexyIncél]

Here's my guess, when I experienced this odd need. We have urges to announce threats:

• alert others of danger
• we're social animals that talk about what interests us. Our impending doom obviously interests us
• solicit help