I think the answer is pretty individual. I think I could live well without work if I had the money. I know an unemployed guy who also does not give a fuck about the performance society. Sadly I cannot survive poverty (like him) so I desperately try to get a job.
I am at college and many people show respect for my motivation/performance level.
Though I feel like a complete fraud. I study so much because I have severe OCD. I am such a neurotic wreck. I always have to monitor my brain so that I don't become manic. It takes extreme amount of energy to hold my brain together. I spend like 100% of my time (when it is not vacation) just to serve my obsessions. I am such a wreck. People who see me don't see anything more than the facade. Deep down I am such a wreck and troubled person.
I am feeling so pathetic. I might have the impostor syndrome. I cannot enjoy the time at college at all. Maybe I have to admit some social interactions feel good. Though for me personally the costs exceed the benefits by far.
My mind is highly fragile. And it often feels so dangerous that a relapse could happen.
I hate how paternalistic some voices are in public debates. I read stuff like more money for unemployed depressive people would not change anything. They need work it is the only way for them to get self-esteem (and social interactions). This is not true. Maybe it is true for some but not for all.
For some of them working is simply too stressful.
In the past I thought this performance culture was in itself dangerous. I am not sure by that now. But vulnerable people should be protected from poverty for sure. I was very nihilstic to that time. I think the performance society has a lot of benefits. But for sure it is also responsible for many destroyed lives.
Do you think the notion working is the best way to get self-esteem is dangerous? I tried to distance myself from that idelogoy when I was at my lowest. (it tortured me)
But I am not able to sustain my lifestyle in this way. So I am forced to take part in this Russian roulette (of college) which could likely end in another relapse equivalent to my suicide.
What do you think?
I am at college and many people show respect for my motivation/performance level.
Though I feel like a complete fraud. I study so much because I have severe OCD. I am such a neurotic wreck. I always have to monitor my brain so that I don't become manic. It takes extreme amount of energy to hold my brain together. I spend like 100% of my time (when it is not vacation) just to serve my obsessions. I am such a wreck. People who see me don't see anything more than the facade. Deep down I am such a wreck and troubled person.
I am feeling so pathetic. I might have the impostor syndrome. I cannot enjoy the time at college at all. Maybe I have to admit some social interactions feel good. Though for me personally the costs exceed the benefits by far.
My mind is highly fragile. And it often feels so dangerous that a relapse could happen.
I hate how paternalistic some voices are in public debates. I read stuff like more money for unemployed depressive people would not change anything. They need work it is the only way for them to get self-esteem (and social interactions). This is not true. Maybe it is true for some but not for all.
For some of them working is simply too stressful.
In the past I thought this performance culture was in itself dangerous. I am not sure by that now. But vulnerable people should be protected from poverty for sure. I was very nihilstic to that time. I think the performance society has a lot of benefits. But for sure it is also responsible for many destroyed lives.
Do you think the notion working is the best way to get self-esteem is dangerous? I tried to distance myself from that idelogoy when I was at my lowest. (it tortured me)
But I am not able to sustain my lifestyle in this way. So I am forced to take part in this Russian roulette (of college) which could likely end in another relapse equivalent to my suicide.
What do you think?
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