Discussion Is suicide "immature"?

[tommyhalpinkelly]

Before you get triggered, it's not me who said this. It was my father. Never seen him in my 17 years at the time go on such a rant about my immaturity and telling me to "grow up""toughen up" when I said I'd kill myself. Wonder if anyone has an insight to this.

I know the usual "cowardly and selfish" condemnations but I seldom here immature. Why is this? What about this appears to be immature?

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

depends

maybe he was referring to the nihilistic, "emo phase" every second spoiled western teenager is going through which can be indeed immature but that is not the norm i think

 

[bigj75]

depends

maybe he was referring to the nihilistic, "emo phase" every second spoiled western teenager is going through which can be indeed immature but that is not the norm i think

yae 99% of the posters here are definitely passed that emo phase and is in some serious stuff.

 

[BjartNO]

Suicide is obviously not immature. Hearing that your kid wants to kill itself is however, not believed to instigate rational responses

 

[Smilla]

I tried to get into the life script but couldn't follow it because of my own fucked up reasons and because of trauma from my childhood.

Call it cowardly, immature, couldn't grow up, selfish, etc. At this point I don't actually care and I mean that.

 

[BjartNO]

I would however, venture to guess that the "logic" that precedes his statement is that suicide is an "immature" response to difficulties in life. The "non-immature" way to go about life throwing shitballs at you, is to "rise up to the occasion", "brush off your shoulders", "face your problems head-on", and so on and so on.

 

[Smilla]

I would however, venture to guess that the "logic" that precedes his statement is that suicide is an "immature" response to difficulties in life. The "non-immature" way to go about life throwing shitballs at you, is to "rise up to the occasion", "brush off your shoulders", "face your problems head-on", and so on and so on.

Good post. I did this for years. I'm done.

No longer "pulling myself up by my bootstraps"—my boots are worn out. And those straps are nonexistent.

 

[BurningLights]

Sounds like a knee jerk reaction to a subject of which he only has knowledge on by being spoon fed by 'society'

Suicide??? Gasp! We don't talk about THAT here, get over yourself, everyone has these problems ..etc etc..

I don't think youll find someone out there with reaction like we do?

Imagine being round a table at restaurant, conversation turns to suicide, would you be brave enough to speak to the whole restaurant about pro suicide? If you did, I'm sure you will get bread rolls thrown at you.

Its not something most wont care to think about unless it crops up in media, then they make a quick assesment, deem it 'immature' and carry on. With nothing, if anything it's immature to have such a view and spout it, without prior assessment.

 

[bigj75]

I would however, venture to guess that the "logic" that precedes his statement is that suicide is an "immature" response to difficulties in life. The "non-immature" way to go about life throwing shitballs at you, is to "rise up to the occasion", "brush off your shoulders", "face your problems head-on", and so on and so on.

That's where the lack of understanding and own willful blindness come into play. People want to believe you can just overcome all difficulties in life as long as you "rise up to the occasion", "brush off your shoulders", "face your problems head-on", and so on and so on. They don't want to accept that people have limits. They rather be blind to the truth because it makes them feel more comfortable and safe when they sleep at night.

 

[Jodes]

Suicide is obviously not immature. Hearing that your kid wants to kill itself is however, not believed to instigate rational responses

What is a rational response?

 

[BjartNO]

I'm not a linguistics professor so maybe there are better answers, however my understanding of a rational response would be that it is a response based on cold facts and not a response coloured by emotional bond/attachment

 

[Jodes]

I'm not a linguistics professor so maybe there are better answers, however my understanding of a rational response would be that it is a response based on cold facts and not a response coloured by emotional bond/attachment

So is that a good thing from a father?

 

[Jodes]

Smacks of immiturity

 

[Ella Disenchanted]

People are immature, mature and everything in between. Suicide is an action and therefore none of these things.

 

[tommyhalpinkelly]

Smacks of immiturity

What do you mean?

 

[Smilla]

A rational response from a parent to a child would be one of compassion and an attempt to figure out why their child is suicidal.

Anything less is child abuse (I know from experience).

 

[Jodes]

What do you mean?

Not sure actually. Sorry... long day, talking total crap now

 

[bigj75]

A rational response from a parent to a child would be one of compassion and an attempt to figure out why their child is suicidal.

Anything less is child abuse (I know from experience).

i agree

 

[NumbItAll]

Before you get triggered, it's not me who said this. It was my father. Never seen him in my 17 years at the time go on such a rant about my immaturity and telling me to "grow up""toughen up" when I said I'd kill myself. Wonder if anyone has an insight to this.

I know the usual "cowardly and selfish" condemnations but I seldom here immature. Why is this? What about this appears to be immature?

His response is immature, abusive, and controlling. You are under no obligation to live and never consented to existence.

 

[Jodes]

Maybe he recognises suicidal leanings in you that you had as a child and so to cover up us narcism and the denial that prevented you getting adequate help , he now blames you for the same unresolved [childhood trauma] perhaps. Immature like that. I'm sure he's used to demeaning you in that fashion. His image probably needs to stay quite sharp for his world to make sense. The narcissist will stand on his children's graves to do so

 

[bigj75]

His response is immature, abusive, and controlling. You are under no obligation to live and never consented to existence.

true

 

[BjartNO]

So is that a good thing from a father?

No I never said nor implied that
It was also not the point of discussion

 

[Jodes]

Sorry... I left that there to show how much crap I talk

I really have a fucking problem, I can't shut up sone times

I hope you get used to me

 

[BjartNO]

I really have a fucking problem, I can't shut up sone times

Don't worry about it, we all have problems here:)

 

[TooLate2582]

Depends on the cognitive development of the person intending to ctb.

 

[muretax]

The act of not understanding or even attempting to understand how someone is feeling and what they're going through is immature. I'm sorry but I really hate people who respond in such a negative way.

Just like being told that it's immature, I've also been told that I'm seeking attention, I'm selfish and that since I'm suicidal it means I don't see value in the relationships with the people around me so with that, I shouldn't have relationships with people. After that last comment, I never wanted to lose my shit as much as I did in that moment.

 

[Xerxes]

My stepfather is like this and so is the rest of my family. They see it as selfish, childish, and immature. The product of a weak mind and that we want nothing but pity. They see us as lazy and that we want everything given to us. When we do great in life, we are given no praise or qualms about our success, but once we step back into depression, they come out and berate us. As my mother always reminded me, "You're one less person to worry about"

 

[Smilla]

To add a bit more to the discussion: when I was 13 I attempted suicide with an overdose of Tylenol (actually Excedrin PMs).

I never lost consciousness but had my stomach pumped in the hospital. And after I was attended to, lying in the hospital bed with a tube down my nose and charcoal being pumped into my stomach my Mother comes over to the bed...the very first thing she said to me was "how could you do this to ME?", through clenched teeth with a disgusted expression.

I will never forget the episode of the Sopranos when Tony discovers AJ in the pool during his suicide attempt and how he reacted—with utter caring and sadness for his son. A mobster had more compassion than my Mom which is rather striking as I think about it.

Any parent who reacts to a child's suicide with abuse is partly to blame for the suicide attempt imo.

 

[Smilla]

My stepfather is like this and so is the rest of my family. They see it as selfish, childish, and immature. The product of a weak mind and that we want nothing but pity. They see us as lazy and that we want everything given to us. When we do great in life, we are given no praise or qualms about our success, but once we step back into depression, they come out and berate us. As my mother always reminded me, "You're one less person to worry about"

That's horrible and I feel for you.

 

[Help_Me]

Guys, if you only knew how I can't help but laughing when somebody selfish and hypocritical talks about suicide as an immature act ! What about their own attitude ? Am I supposed to consider being an asshole is a mature act then ? Modern society with their stupid double-standards makes me really upset...