Is suicide for some people more difficult than for others?

[noname223]

I don't say committing suicide should not be thought-through. Personally I see suicide more or less as last resort. And one should think about this last step whether this really is what one wants.

Though I have the feeling for some people committing suicide is more difficult than for others. I am overthinking everything in my life a lot. Especially when I have to do a decision. And ending one's life is a huge existential decision. When I approached killing myself I had no relieving feeling. I read that that some people seem to describe something like that. For me it was the result of extreme desperation and extreme pain.

Doing partial partly increased my pain. But I was in such a pain that it gave me the little hope that my horrible pain would vanish when I was dead.

For me killing myself will be the result of being cornered. It is like something an author once wrote. When you see someone on a high floor of a burning building the people at the bottom scream just to hold on. There might be someone who will rescue you eventuallly. But many people decide to jump instead because they don't want to endure the torment of being burned alive.

This for me the metaphor of my suicide. I don't want to endure this living hell. All my options are horrible. I also think committing suicide is pretty horrible. But my other options are at least as nightmarish.

For me committing suicide is very difficult. I am extremely scared about permanent damage, that I screw up an attempt or that I get into legal trouble when I order something lethal. This is one reason why I am a hugh supporter of assisted suicide. If dying peacefully was not criminalized I had less anxiety about it.

 

[Al_stargate]

Well put. I have N so my concerns about failing or the act of doing it are a lot smaller. But I do though fear bad afterlife, something that might not be a concern to others. I guess it has to do with situation one is in. For somebody with terminal illness and numbered days, the choice might be easy. For someone with mental or other issues the choice is a lot harder.

Should someone do it? That's for each individual to decide for themselves. I have an opinion on it, but someone would have an opinion on my situation but they are not the ones living it. I agree, it's the last resort. Without N for me it would be a lot more difficult. The act that is, should I do it, that's a whole other question. I also don't see having any relieving feeling, maybe if I was terminally ill or in great pain.

 

[TheCrowCalls]

I think some people get impulsive and make the decision which breaks through the SI. When the plan is thought out carefully and the plan is made say with N, the decision becomes much more existential. You're forced to contend with the "to be or not to be" question which in our position is fundamentally the most difficult decision we have to make.

I think we fantasize it as a relief but conceptually speaking it's devoid of any sensory experience including relief.

I'm sorry you're in pain OP :(

 

[Niko66]

Absolutely, I think just as anything with life our bodies, the way our brains work, our families, our country, our resources, our relationships, every circumstance surrounding our lives affects what we can and can't do and how hard things are and suicide is most certainly not an exception.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do believe that suicide could be more difficult for some people because of access to methods, in my case I lack the peaceful and reliable way to exit this world and there is the fear of failure. I feel very trapped in this world and more than anything I wish that it was easier to leave. I think that if someone had N, suicide is likely to be a lot easier for them, as they can exit peacefully when the time is right for them, and I can imagine that it must be comforting not to feel so trapped in this world. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit, no one should have to resort to risky methods to end their pain.

Also maybe some people have less anxiety about the whole process of ctb, they feel more calm about everything and that is due to the person themselves and their circumstances.

 

[User35688446786]

Well put. I have N so my concerns about failing or the act of doing it are a lot smaller. But I do though fear bad afterlife, something that might not be a concern to others. I guess it has to do with situation one is in. For somebody with terminal illness and numbered days, the choice might be easy. For someone with mental or other issues the choice is a lot harder.

Should someone do it? That's for each individual to decide for themselves. I have an opinion on it, but someone would have an opinion on my situation but they are not the ones living it. I agree, it's the last resort. Without N for me it would be a lot more difficult. The act that is, should I do it, that's a whole other question. I also don't see having any relieving feeling, maybe if I was terminally ill or in great pain.

Other than the fact it's so difficult / expensive I think weirdly having N would stop me from being so should I shouldn't I. I'd probably drink it on impulse and not properly prepare

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

Suicide is definitely more difficult for some because of access to peaceful methods - or even access to any method (think folks that have limited mobility). However, even if everyone had N and even if it didn't take any prep (all you had to do was pour it in some water and drink - guaranteed death in a few minutes), some would still fight the internal struggle more than others. I have no doubt that SI is as unique to everyone as fingerprints are.

 

[Foresight]

I think suicide is grim as fuck and so does my subconscious. I have screaming night terrors when I dip deep into suicidal ideation. That's why no matter how much I prepare sn, N will be my only way because I need a peaceful and quick method. My SI is very high. I do think people have varying levels of attachment to life and even varying levels of survival instincts.

 

[rationaltake]

I do believe that suicide could be more difficult for some people because of access to methods, in my case I lack the peaceful and reliable way to exit this world and there is the fear of failure. I feel very trapped in this world and more than anything I wish that it was easier to leave. I think that if someone had N, suicide is likely to be a lot easier for them, as they can exit peacefully when the time is right for them, and I can imagine that it must be comforting not to feel so trapped in this world. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit, no one should have to resort to risky methods to end their pain.

Also maybe some people have less anxiety about the whole process of ctb, they feel more calm about everything and that is due to the person themselves and their circumstances.

I think you're right. Access to methods has a lot to do with it.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I assume most people cannot bring themselves to follow through on this… It's simply too scary

 

[MementoMori81]

When life is all you've ever known, annihilation is often terrifying to think about. I spend a large proportion of my time contemplating what comes after death. I'm not religious, so for me the idea of heaven or hell doesn't feature. I don't believe in reincarnation either, again, it just doesn't 'fit' for me.
For me, the only logical conclusion to arrive at, is that when I die, it'll be like the (approximately) 13.7 billion years before I was born, and since I don't recollect what any of that was like, I need not worry, because it's back to that state of non-existence that I'll return.

Despite coming to the conclusion, however, I still find myself reluctant, still hesitant, to pull the trigger on CTB, because life is all I've ever known. I don't 'want' to die, but I don't want to continue with my current state of existence. I don't enjoy the things I used to love doing, I have largely lost enthusiasm for life, for people, I've become increasingly frustrated with the nagging feeling of 'no feeling' and not knowing what the hell I should be doing with my life, what might make me happy. Even when I do a little research into ideas for things that might bring back my enthusiasm for life; new careers, hobbies, etc etc, I latch on to an idea, then immediately just lose interest. An idea may grab me, but then instantly I find myself disinterested in it.

It's bloody frustrating . I want out, but I'm still apprehensive because life is the only thing one can actually experience so the thought of annihilation is concerning. It's like being a record stuck on loop.

Access to a reliable means of exit also strikes me as a barrier to making end of life decisions. Luckily N from D is a viable option for me, and for that I'm grateful. I've read many accounts from people where having access to a reliable, painless and peaceful means of self deliverance has, in fact, prolonged their life. I suppose having the knowledge that you can shuffle off peacefully at a time of one's choosing, gives one the strength to keep going.

 

[obafgkm]

I think people who are more likely to successfully take their own life are also people who have been, or would have been, successful in life. They are more committed to achieving their goal, more ready to take action, go through all the necessary difficult steps and risks. These are positive attributes in career. Maybe they just made one fatal mistake, or something bad happened to them.