Is suicide an opption?

[Agony6061]

Hi there.

I've been thinking a lot about ctb lately. My life has just been shit.

I have really nice friends that are always there for me and my work career is just about to start. But there are my parents.

My dad kicked me out of the house because I only did "problems". He told me so many bad things, that broke my heart and he almost broke my fingers one by one. I am moving to my mom but she isn't helping at all. I need to do all the paperworks by myself. Last week I went to my dad's house because it was his birthday and when I entered my room all my things were gone. I asked my stepmother where my stuff is, and if I can go get some really important papers that I have left on my desk. She told me that she put all my things into boxes and that I could not go get them because I was "only there for my fathers birthday".

A lot of other things happened that just make me feel like I am not enough. I think about unaliving myself everyday and I don't know what to do anymore. It's just to much for me...can someone help me? I don't want a hurtful death...

Thanks

 

[FuneralCry]

After all, none of us are obligated to continue existing here and we all have our right to decide when we cease existing no matter what other people say, to me it's understandable wishing to permanently escape from all the suffering, I hope you eventually find what you search for, best wishes.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

This is absolutely inacceptable how your father treats you! I'm sorry you have too go through such horrible treatment from your father this is disgusting. Where do u live now? Do u have any helpful support from friends for example? No question the situation is horrible but I don't think that ctb is the answer now, don't rush anything, this may just lead into more suffering. I hope you can find a way to deal with the situation.

 

[アホペンギン]

Hi there.

I've been thinking a lot about ctb lately. My life has just been shit.

I have really nice friends that are always there for me and my work career is just about to start. But there are my parents.

My dad kicked me out of the house because I only did "problems". He told me so many bad things, that broke my heart and he almost broke my fingers one by one. I am moving to my mom but she isn't helping at all. I need to do all the paperworks by myself. Last week I went to my dad's house because it was his birthday and when I entered my room all my things were gone. I asked my stepmother where my stuff is, and if I can go get some really important papers that I have left on my desk. She told me that she put all my things into boxes and that I could not go get them because I was "only there for my fathers birthday".

A lot of other things happened that just make me feel like I am not enough. I think about unaliving myself everyday and I don't know what to do anymore. It's just to much for me...can someone help me? I don't want a hurtful death...

Thanks

the way your father treats you is unacceptable. He should know better. And suicide is not an option, none of us are obligated to stay alive, just the society feels that whoever is fit enough to work should stay alive, thats how you are, i assume. Its horrible how you weren't allowed to go get your own things while you could when you were at your father's house for his birthday, thats so cruel. People like your father who are unfit to raise children because they don't have any emotional understanding shouldn't be allowed to procreate. ever. He even almost broke all of your fingers.. i wouldn't even do that to my abusers. thats just sickening… Anyways, you are free to ctb, no one but the society will tell you to do otherwise. It is quite easy to avoid the present society's pressure on you if you carry out your ctb correctly. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Your situation sounds terrible and extremely abusive- I'm so sorry. It's understandable you are feeling so unhappy.

The choice on whether to end things can only be your own really. It's so sad that your Mum doesn't seem to be supporting you much. Is she frightened of your Dad do you think? He does sound very abusive.

If you do choose to go on though- I think this is what I would do: Arrange a time with your Dad and step Mum to pick up your belongings. They clearly have some weird power trip thing going on but ultimately- once you have your stuff- you don't necessarily need to be bothered with all that crap in the future. Collect your stuff in one go. Try and make it so you don't need to return there in the future. Beyond that though- make a serious decision on whether to cut ties with them. Either way- you need to focus on you now. Your career could be a whole new chapter for you and it's good you have the support of good friends. Could one of them maybe go with you to pick up your stuff? For a bit of moral support?

None of us can or will tell you what to do. It has to be up to you. There's a real possibility that your life can improve being away from your abusive Dad- although- these things can stay with us and life regardless isn't exactly easy. It's always going to be a gamble- sadly. Still for context- my life improved drastically at age 18 when I left home (and a likely narcissist) for university. It's much easier to focus on you when you aren't scared all the time. Whatever you choose, I wish you all the best.

 

[Agony6061]

This is absolutely inacceptable how your father treats you! I'm sorry you have too go through such horrible treatment from your father this is disgusting. Where do u live now? Do u have any helpful support from friends for example? No question the situation is horrible but I don't think that ctb is the answer now, don't rush anything, this may just lead into more suffering. I hope you can find a way to deal with the situation.

I live at my mom. But she isn't the best person to have around. She always compares me with others and says things like "Why can't you be more like her", etc. She also gets mad because I go to the toilet in the night or make quite noises in my room. There was already the possibility to go live by myself but my dad is against it. (In my country you can rent an appartment if you are 16.)

the way your father treats you is unacceptable. He should know better. And suicide is not an option, none of us are obligated to stay alive, just the society feels that whoever is fit enough to work should stay alive, thats how you are, i assume. Its horrible how you weren't allowed to go get your own things while you could when you were at your father's house for his birthday, thats so cruel. People like your father who are unfit to raise children because they don't have any emotional understanding shouldn't be allowed to procreate. ever. He even almost broke all of your fingers.. i wouldn't even do that to my abusers. thats just sickening… Anyways, you are free to ctb, no one but the society will tell you to do otherwise. It is quite easy to avoid the present society's pressure on you if you carry out your ctb correctly. I wish you the best of luck.

Your situation sounds terrible and extremely abusive- I'm so sorry. It's understandable you are feeling so unhappy.

The choice on whether to end things can only be your own really. It's so sad that your Mum doesn't seem to be supporting you much. Is she frightened of your Dad do you think? He does sound very abusive.

If you do choose to go on though- I think this is what I would do: Arrange a time with your Dad and step Mum to pick up your belongings. They clearly have some weird power trip thing going on but ultimately- once you have your stuff- you don't necessarily need to be bothered with all that crap in the future. Collect your stuff in one go. Try and make it so you don't need to return there in the future. Beyond that though- make a serious decision on whether to cut ties with them. Either way- you need to focus on you now. Your career could be a whole new chapter for you and it's good you have the support of good friends. Could one of them maybe go with you to pick up your stuff? For a bit of moral support?

None of us can or will tell you what to do. It has to be up to you. There's a real possibility that your life can improve being away from your abusive Dad- although- these things can stay with us and life regardless isn't exactly easy. It's always going to be a gamble- sadly. Still for context- my life improved drastically at age 18 when I left home (and a likely narcissist) for university. It's much easier to focus on you when you aren't scared all the time. Whatever you choose, I wish you all the best.

Thank you. The thing is, that my dad can be a very nice person. But when my stepmother is around he is a different person and I am not the only one who thinks that. I have already thaught of not talking to him again...but after all he is my dad, right?

This is absolutely inacceptable how your father treats you! I'm sorry you have too go through such horrible treatment from your father this is disgusting. Where do u live now? Do u have any helpful support from friends for example? No question the situation is horrible but I don't think that ctb is the answer now, don't rush anything, this may just lead into more suffering. I hope you can find a way to deal with the situation.

I have recorded my dad and stepmother, when they've threaten me. I already have a history with sh and also suicide. I am very insecure about myself and the fact, that I found out that my parents didn't even wanted me makes it worse. It's just so much for me and in my head it would me much easier to ctb.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

There was already the possibility to go live by myself but my dad is against it.

I don't get that, he kicks you out of his house but is against you living in your own appartment if that was already possible. Really, a tough situation. When you have a few more posts you will have chat and messages activated.