Help Is SN death loud? I need to ctb quickly and silenty when I get caught

[GoneByTomorrow]

I don't mean to turn this into a sob story, but I'm gonna tell my situation so I can have an overall orientation.
My mother found out I'm gay and she is threating me to tell my dad, he lives not so close to where I live, but also not very far, he could be here in 4 hours. Now, so you guys can understand my situation, if my mother tells him I'm gay and he get to me, at best he will give me a beating, in the worst case scenario he will give me a beating and end up killing me, I don't think he cares going to jail if he tortures me first.

I was thinking of ctbing sooner rather than later, but I just decided to wait till she tells him, so I have no other choise, I'll enjoy living my live while I can. When my mother tell my dad, I think I'll have a night to prepare and ctb, I can't fail this attempt at all! When she tells him I'll go to my bedroom at night and take SN, it's the only method I have at hand.

Will the effects be loud? I mean, I know I'm gonna throw up quite a bit, but my mother will think I'm just nervous, besides throwing up there will be another sound or can I go undetectable?

 

[aminend]

I think u have many other options. I think ur reason isn't legit

 

[Freeme3820]

Wow, please don't cbt for this reason, what country are you in? Is there no organisations that can help you? x

 

[Ghost2211]

No, SN should not be a loud death. I suppose the volume of any death would depend on how you react to discomfort. You could always play music to hide any death groans.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

How old are you?

 

[rt1989526]

You need to find a better place to live first. You don't need to CTB yet, there has to be places or support groups you can utilize.

 

[IrRegularjoe]

I don't mean to turn this into a sob story, but I'm gonna tell my situation so I can have an overall orientation.
My mother found out I'm gay and she is threating me to tell my dad, he lives not so close to where I live, but also not very far, he could be here in 4 hours. Now, so you guys can understand my situation, if my mother tells him I'm gay and he get to me, at best he will give me a beating, in the worst case scenario he will give me a beating and end up killing me, I don't think he cares going to jail if he tortures me first.

I was thinking of ctbing sooner rather than later, but I just decided to wait till she tells him, so I have no other choise, I'll enjoy living my live while I can. When my mother tell my dad, I think I'll have a night to prepare and ctb, I can't fail this attempt at all! When she tells him I'll go to my bedroom at night and take SN, it's the only method I have at hand.

Will the effects be loud? I mean, I know I'm gonna throw up quite a bit, but my mother will think I'm just nervous, besides throwing up there will be another sound or can I go undetectable?

Whoah. Stop worrying. Lot's of people are gay. Your parents can't beat you for being gay. Call the cops if you need to. Go to a friends house if you have to. Call a helpline if needed.

 

[Ghost2211]

Whoah. Stop worrying. Lot's of people are gay. Your parents can't beat you for being gay. Call the cops if you need to. Go to a friends house if you have to. Call a helpline if needed.

In several places in the world homosexuality is a death sentence. The world is a messed up place.

 

[Simon777]

Please don't ctb because of this reason. Just give it a little more time, I promise you things will get better XX

 

[BPD Barbie]

Whoah. Stop worrying. Lot's of people are gay. Your parents can't beat you for being gay. Call the cops if you need to. Go to a friends house if you have to. Call a helpline if needed.

Sadly its never this black and white. Some people aren't as accepting as others and lack understanding.

 

[IrRegularjoe]

To the OP. I hope you call someone.

 

[nerve]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...nd-experiences-information-google-docs.29900/

Some of the case reports here mention loud groaning, cursing, or falling off the bed/chair/etc. in addition to noises from vomiting. A few people in the attempts section mention being rescued because someone heard them.

Just as well, the Peaceful Pill Handbook has mentioned 45 minutes to 4 hours as the timeframe for SN to have its way with someone, so you might be cutting it close there. Up to you though obviously.

I wanted to actually answer your questions, but I do echo the sentiments above that other options could very well exist for you here and I really hope you can look into them before making such an important decision, OP

 

[GoneByTomorrow]

Guys sorry I'm not answering. I posted this way before I had to leave but nobody approved mt post, now I'm at the middle of work. I'll answer and explain further my situation as soon as I'm free.

 

[Aap]

Are you sure this is what you want? How old are you? I'm not fully understanding the thought process at all. I understand the fear of your dad, I'm just not grasping why other options aren't being explored.

Are you in the Middle East/other country where being gay is a criminal or capital offense?

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Not necessarily but with you vomiting you might draw the attention of someone very close by. I would be careful doing it in the same house as someone.

 

[rt1989526]

Im in an apartment building, but live alone. Going to turn the fan and TV fairly loud to try and mask any noises.

 

[Nymph]

Guys don't undervalue his problems. I'm in a similar position and it's hard. It's one of my reason for ctb too

 

[Aap]

I'm not undervaluing it at all. It sounds like a horrible situation. In any domestic violence situation, I'd encourage the victim to get out and get help. Said another way, is this purely situational, and if the situation is remedied, would the individual still want to ctb? Even worse, this is a hypothetical situation At this point, based only on the information that has been given (my mom might tell my dad, and dad might harm me).

absolutely not dismissing the situatioN. I don't see how encouraging the individual with a job and overbearing parents to consider moving out or seeking assistance (or at least understanding why this isn't an option) is a bad thing.

 

[GoneByTomorrow]

I think u have many other options. I think ur reason isn't legit

When I say he will probably beat me to death, I think you are reading it with a figurative meaning, it's not. He will literally kill me.

Wow, please don't cbt for this reason, what country are you in? Is there no organisations that can help you? x

I'm from Brazil, a very poor rural city in Brazil. Yes, I agree it seems like a vain reason that I could get sorted. But I just can't, I only hava a half time job that pays me less than half a rent per month. I don't have friends or family members who would help me either. My other option at the moment would be move out of this city and become homeless somewhere else.

I know that it seems easy enough when I say my problem: I could just get a job that pays me enough and get free from them, I totally agree, it sounds easy, but I'm searching for another job for years now (even before my mother found out) and I can't find one, here is not like America where I could go to the McDonald's and get a job.

 

[GoneByTomorrow]

No, SN should not be a loud death. I suppose the volume of any death would depend on how you react to discomfort. You could always play music to hide any death groans.

Thank you, I hope so!

How old are you?

I'm 19. But I lied here saying I was 25, because I thought legal age was 21.

Please don't ctb because of this reason. Just give it a little more time, I promise you things will get better XX

I'll give it all the time my mother gives me. It's really out of my hands now!

 

[GoneByTomorrow]

I'm not undervaluing it at all. It sounds like a horrible situation. In any domestic violence situation, I'd encourage the victim to get out and get help. Said another way, is this purely situational, and if the situation is remedied, would the individual still want to ctb? Even worse, this is a hypothetical situation At this point, based only on the information that has been given (my mom might tell my dad, and dad might harm me).

absolutely not dismissing the situatioN. I don't see how encouraging the individual with a job and overbearing parents to consider moving out or seeking assistance (or at least understanding why this isn't an option) is a bad thing.

It's as hypothetical as it can be because it didn't happen it. But it WILL happen, my mother WILL tell my dad the second she thinks she will gain something out of it and my dad will KILL ME, probably. I know it sounds like "my dad will kill me" in a teen way to say I'll get in trouble, but I mean it in a literal way.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm angry for you that your mother would put you in such jepoardy. I'm so sorry you have a mother who would do that, and a father who would physically assault you over your sexual orientation. I live in Latin America and grew up around Latinos in America, I'm not surprised by any of this, just angry on your behalf.

I asked how old you are because I didn't want to give advice if you are under 18.

I understand that you were already considering suicide and your rationale for enjoying life until your dad is notified, and then using that opportunity to end your life. I would suggest if you want to live that you have a weapon handy such as a baseball bat, and that you stand up to your father and defend yourself. If you have no other protection such as law enforcement, then it's up to you to knock the shit out of him if he goes on the attack. Just don't kill him. As soon as he's disabled, I'd say to leave the property and immediately go to the police and make a statement about what happened.

If your plan is still your choice, then you can expect to make some noise. You should lie down so that you don't make noise passing out, but you still may fall off the bed. You may vomit. You may groan. It would be best to loudly play a white noise app or music, and to block your door (and windows) so that no one can enter easily.

I'm sorry you're considering suicide for whatever reasons and that you're experiencing the current challenges. I wish you well-being.

 

[Freeme3820]

When I say he will probably beat me to death, I think you are reading it with a figurative meaning, it's not. He will literally kill me.

I'm from Brazil, a very poor rural city in Brazil. Yes, I agree it seems like a vain reason that I could get sorted. But I just can't, I only hava a half time job that pays me less than half a rent per month. I don't have friends or family members who would help me either. My other option at the moment would be move out of this city and become homeless somewhere else.

I know that it seems easy enough when I say my problem: I could just get a job that pays me enough and get free from them, I totally agree, it sounds easy, but I'm searching for another job for years now (even before my mother found out) and I can't find one, here is not like America where I could go to the McDonald's and get a job.

Noooo please don't think I thought your reason was vain, it's just that I found your reason shocking, not shocked by you but shocked because of the reaction to you being gay and you feeling like this is your only way out due to this reaction, it makes me feel sad that we are in 2020 and there are people out there that are so horrible. Im sorry about your whole situation, I'm in the UK and this would of been classed as domestic abuse, there are refuges for men and women for this, I completely forgot that other countries don't always have these resources. I honestly hope that you get a break in life and it happens soon, sending you love x

 

[Brink]

It's not okay that you're in this situation. It's fucking cruel, and I feel sorry that you're being used as some pawn for someone else's bigotry-filled life. Your parents sound disgusting.

I don't know if I can help in any way, but as a fellow gay male, I'm always here if you need to chat. Feel free to start a conversation with me. I too hope you're able to escape from this abuse because it's so sad to let homophobia win.

 

[gus.nixon]

Your situation of being a gay man reminds me of this song so much. I love this song.

Bronski Beat - Smalltown Boy