Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
Hi
I recently posted a goodbye thread under the recovery title but I am struggling again.I am sorry! .
You will all know my story and troubles which I have well documented throughout my time here.
I am feeling very low today due to the social services restrictions on my son.
I am frustrated with all their crap and my boy held onto me tight when the visit came to an end today and would not let go.I did well to hold back the tears because I did not want to upset him further.
In the past, I have thought I was fooling myself in believing things would get better but once my son was taken into care,I had to adapt a more positive mindset to have him potentially returned to me in Dec.I really want to fight for him but once again ,I am fighting my own overwhelming thoughts of suicide.
Once it has you in its grasp it never let's go and maybe I am so stupid to realise it ever would .maybe it was and still is my destiny.who knows.!
I feel so helpless,tired and loosing faith and my grip on life.
Do you think recovery is possible even if it's what you really want ?.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lv-gras, jethacan, Trashcan and 3 others
B

Ben

Warlock
Sep 12, 2018
784
I'm sorry you're going through such pain right now. I don't belive you should ever ignore your curiosity of recovery. I can't sit here and tell you that everyone can be saved..I wish I could.

My hope is the ones who have chosen death, were at peace with their decision up until the very end. I hope they didn't pass with a curiosity of the potential of recovery. I feel the decision to KTB should be made once it's crystal clear it's the only way to end the pain.

I'm not sure what you have already gone through in terms of receiving help, but if you think it has even a small chance of helping, look into it. Don't leave with curiosity's if you can help it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lv-gras, Morning Angel, Maravillosa and 2 others
Ashpac

Ashpac

Lost and always will be.
Jul 22, 2018
795
I personally believe recovery is very possible for some people.
I think when you lose hope thats when the feelings of ending your life become very strong but if you have some hope then keep fighting.
I know what it feels like to be in pain everyday, it really sucks.
Its a constant battle.
''Nothing in this world thats worth having, comes easy'' thats a true quote, it even applies to my life.
I know what you mean about the destiny thing though, I honestly believe some people no matter how hard they try to stay alive are forced to end it.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: lv-gras, BaconCheeseburger, Lara Francis and 5 others
Kogoruhn

Kogoruhn

Student
May 20, 2018
109
Maybe you should try using reddit, suicidewatch. Sometimes i read it and find people grateful for the help received that changed their minds. Its never too late to recover
 
  • Like
Reactions: lv-gras, Lara Francis and Morning Angel
M

Morning Angel

Useless Broken Wings
Aug 8, 2018
618
Hey Lara:) good to hear from you again. Don't worry about leaving/coming back. A lot of us have done it, including me.

I've been following your story for a bit now, and I understand the hopelessness you may be feeling. I wish I had more info about your situation and how social services is justifying their case in keeping your son. No obligation to share but is it something you could tell us more about? Do they stipulate what you'd need to do in order to have him back? How often does it happen that parents regain custody?

December is about 9 weeks away. It is a while but I do think it is possible for you to make it until then if you can formulate some kind of plan for yourself. Of course, recovery requires many supports including a job, possibly welfare, social supports, a trusted therapist and so on. Seeking these also requires time and patience.

Having said that though, I understand that every parent has a breaking point and suicide is still an option for you. The heart of every question parents on here deal with is clear: can you live for your son even if you don't want to live yourself?
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, lv-gras, BaconCheeseburger and 4 others
M

Morning Angel

Useless Broken Wings
Aug 8, 2018
618
I'm sorry you're going through such pain right now. I don't belive you should ever ignore your curiosity of recovery. I can't sit here and tell you that everyone can be saved..I wish I could.

My hope is the ones who have chosen death, were at peace with their decision up until the very end. I hope they didn't pass with a curiosity of the potential of recovery. I feel the decision to KTB should be made once it's crystal clear it's the only way to end the pain.

I'm not sure what you have already gone through in terms of receiving help, but if you think it has even a small chance of helping, look into it. Don't leave with curiosity's if you can help it.
Wise words
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, lv-gras, lostinthedream and 1 other person
Avicii

Avicii

Looking
Sep 4, 2018
424
Hi
I recently posted a goodbye thread under the recovery title but I am struggling again.I am sorry! .
You will all know my story and troubles which I have well documented throughout my time here.
I am feeling very low today due to the social services restrictions on my son.
I am frustrated with all their crap and my boy held onto me tight when the visit came to an end today and would not let go.I did well to hold back the tears because I did not want to upset him further.
In the past, I have thought I was fooling myself in believing things would get better but once my son was taken into care,I had to adapt a more positive mindset to have him potentially returned to me in Dec.I really want to fight for him but once again ,I am fighting my own overwhelming thoughts of suicide.
Once it has you in its grasp it never let's go and maybe I am so stupid to realise it ever would .maybe it was and still is my destiny.who knows.!
I feel so helpless,tired and loosing faith and my grip on life.
Do you think recovery is possible even if it's what you really want ?.

Nah now c'mon ??? You took steps in the right direction I mean for real when I saw your positive and upbeat post saying you were leaving like many others who wished you Godspeed on the matter I thought exactly the same think Laurs you can beat this

Ask the mods tons you or something so you can't posf or access this site

I fortunately don't have children but if I did I'd be there in shot for them would lose my legs my hands by life fot them

Please get off this site in the nicest way of asking and start this fight

If you ever want to talk person to person for support pm and I'll leave you my contact details
 
  • Like
Reactions: lv-gras and Lara Francis
Wantingpeace

Wantingpeace

Wizard
Aug 16, 2018
672
I'm sorry your going through this.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Morning Angel and lostinthedream
lostinthedream

lostinthedream

Warlock
Sep 2, 2018
754
I may be naive but I truly believe that anything is possible... I believe in magick
 
  • Like
Reactions: lv-gras

Similar threads

Nemy
Replies
2
Views
266
Recovery
Nemy
Nemy
sharpiemarker
Replies
0
Views
101
Suicide Discussion
sharpiemarker
sharpiemarker
Lady Laudanum
Replies
17
Views
692
Recovery
destinationlosangel
destinationlosangel
Cyagangy
Replies
5
Views
245
Suicide Discussion
Cyagangy
Cyagangy