Story Is recovery really possible?

[Peter_pan90]

I wonder myself if recovery is possible and worth it. I dont see many recovery threads, so I wonder if theres any nice stories of recovery in here. Im battling Heroin addiction. Been in rehab many times. Have replacement medication for that but in the end always keep on going back. This world is really boring, and boredom is what makes me relapse.

 

[almost_dead]

idk about recovery but I love you Peter pan

 

[Peter_pan90]

thanks

 

[Life_and_Death]

I think recovery is possible. It just depends on your conditions and how much work you are willing to put into it. Although I'll be honest.... My dissociation has been making me wonder, only giving me slight glimpses of what recovery for me will look like but I'm starting to wonder what normal was. I know I feel different but sometimes it's difficult to tell if this is actually what reality is or still just my disorders. I think I'm wrong but if this is what reality is I don't want it.

 

[Peter_pan90]

I get you, specially now that we are almost on house arrest! Makes simple things more complicated!
Nope! No recovery it seems

 

[BPD Barbie]

I used to believe that recovery was possible. I used to think you could recover fully but my opinion has changed now. Suicide engrains itself in you so deeply, it changes your perception of the world around you and everything in it. I believe you can learn to control the feelings and ride the waves a little better, but I don't think suicidal thoughts every truly go. It's like an addiction, always at the back of your mind just waiting.

 

[Giraffey]

Suicide engrains itself in you so deeply, it changes your perception of the world around you and everything in it. I believe you can learn to control the feelings and ride the waves a little better, but I don't think suicidal thoughts every truly go.

A pristinely dark yet poetic description of my reality. I think that once painless/peaceful suicide becomes a realistic option it's difficult to ever make any decisions without having that in the back of your mind. I used to deal with a crisis by thinking "how can I possibly get through this?" but now I think "Is it worth the pain to fight? What will ultimately be different if I get through this?". I sometimes think such freedom can be both a blessing and a curse.

"You can learn to ride the waves, but the suicidal thoughts never truly go."

 

[Sinkinshyp]

Due to being born into hell I spent my teen years on impulsive (usually when pms)ctb attempts. I truly wanted out of this life I was stuck in. I have ALWAYS had some level of depression and anxieties. Having my son at 20 gave me love and happiness. I was more able to.. see a reason to continue and put my past ctb's in the past. I was here and there medicated by pri care doc. I will admit to being on xanax the last 13 yrs. When he died in a car accident the depression, trauma, shattering hit me like a mack truck. I find myself wondering why I had to have this life to loose the only things that mattered to me- my kids. As a teen they said I had mixed personality disorder. Now the doc says anxieties- general and social, major depressive disorder, complicated grief disorder and ptsd.

Some things we outgrow yet it's also possible always be present to a degree. Sometimes medications can help. It depends on what traumas have been in our lives and if we are able to move past them. Sometimes yes we can be helped and find a way to have a better life and also some things cannot be cured or fixed. If I am around a man yelling even if it's in a grocery store I loose it from growing up abused by my father and 1st bf. When I was a teen those abuses I had been through were ingrained deeply into my core. After my son was born they were like a bad dream once in a while. As the years have gone on they didn't haunt me so much. Wanting to be here for my son was my therapist medication and glue.

An alcoholic or addict will always be in recovery. There are many success stories out there of those who have over come their addictions. My brother is a recovering addict. He would have sold my mother to get high if he could-thats how bad he was. He robbed me repeatedly. In the last 3ish years he has made many tremendous changes. I was always the one that everyone went to - my brother and all 3 of his wives had lived under my room. I took him in at least 12x. I never imagined a time I would need him. He moved in with me in feb or march with his current wife and 3 young children. I cannot say how thankful I am for him. He is there on many levels emotionally, he cleans my house since I stay in my room, he cooks dinner every night and tries to bring me plates. He began using at 13 he is now 46. He spent his entire life high or in jail/prison. At the end of his use he was shooting up many substances because he was not able to get high any other way. I hope he can continue on his path of sobriety. His children deserve it. They are part of his motivation and also his wife cheated about 4 yrs ago is more motivation. He admits to being a very bad guy for many years. I have Oxy and xanax and I know it's tempting to him. So far he has not asked me for any. I think he really is on the right path to staying clean and sober. I am truly thankful he is with me this time.

I hope everyone seeing recovery can find what it is that gives them happiness. Start small- look at a flower in a park just to find 5 minutes of calm. It's not easy to over come so many obstacles but it is possible. Much love to all of you

 

[LittleJem]

I've heard of Ibogaine can help with Heroin.

I don't know re recovery - Russell Brand I think writes about recovery from addiction and heroin, but I haven't read him.

I have my own dependencies as I use substances to cope with depression and anxiety. I need to try another medication I think, but not holding out much hope.

 

[Sensei]

I used to believe that recovery was possible. I used to think you could recover fully but my opinion has changed now. Suicide engrains itself in you so deeply, it changes your perception of the world around you and everything in it. I believe you can learn to control the feelings and ride the waves a little better, but I don't think suicidal thoughts every truly go. It's like an addiction, always at the back of your mind just waiting.

Once you've looked into the abyss, you can't unsee it. However, that doesn't mean that you must jump into it.