Is recovering from a suicide like recovering from a breakup?

[Kramer]

I'm curious how those left behind deal with it. Many here are under the impression no one gives a shit which is a fucking lie. Yes, there are those who literally have no one who cares, but those people are in the minority.

 

[Sherri]

I'm curious how those left behind deal with it. Many here are under the impression no one gives a shit which is a fucking lie. Yes, there are those who literally have no one who cares, but those people are in the minority.

I survived all my attempts, but if I try it again, I have everything I need now. when I was released and informed the next of kin. They were disappointed and told me how beautiful life is, that's the last thing I wanted to hear in that moment. They saw me as a weak person. That will never change in my family. Even if I ctb one day.

 

[Nymph]

I don't think it's like a breakup, the feelings are really different.

 

[foxdie]

I'm curious how those left behind deal with it. Many here are under the impression no one gives a shit which is a fucking lie. Yes, there are those who literally have no one who cares, but those people are in the minority.

I thought you said suicide isn't a tragedy so why would anyone need to recover after? Unless you've changed your mind on that, then don't mind me. That's quite the reversal in opinion, if so. If not, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on why you think suicide isn't a tragedy yet it's something those left behind need to recover from. It's a unique take.

 

[Deleted member 25174]

It's nothing like a break up. It's more like having your best friend or your mum or sister die and you always think you could have done something to stop it. Even if you think they don't care that much. They will all go to their graves..cousins, uncles,parents friends colleagues they will all live a life wondering if they could've stopped it from happening. That's why I push that away from my mind. I won't be here to see the carnage it causes and it does destroy lives no matter what we say and think and it doesn't matter what age you are. I know an octogenarian who did it and in many ways it was worse than younger people. It's not like a break up so don't kid yourself. I just pop all that to the back of my mind, ill be dead

 

[Itsjustme21]

When my ex and i broke up, it really felt like someone died. But that feeling lasted for a week and i was over her. That wouldn't happen if my current gf killed herself. I'd never be able to get over that I think. I would probably kill myself.

 

[WornOutLife]

I've experienced both and even though I've been a broken hearted guy for a long time, it has no comparison to CTB.
CTB thoughts, thanks to depression and BPD, made me lose everything in my life (job, friends, dating girls, getting extra money, go out, etc) while break ups only made me feel very sad for some months.

 

[justsad&done]

That is an insensitive comparison.

 

[Deleted member 14573]

Like others said, there is no comparison. Recovering from a suicide attempt is very traumatising. Breakups hurt, yes, but it is nothing like waking up after after an attempt and realising how even more screwed you are.

 

[WornOutLife]

Like others said, there is no comparison. Recovering from a suicide attempt is very traumatising. Breakups hurt, yes, but it is nothing like waking up after after an attempt and realising how even more screwed you are.

Exactly! Last August, when I failed to ctb, my life became hell! I had no freedom and was about to be sent to psych ward. Instead, I was a prisoner in my parents house for 5 months. Now, I'm finally free but everybody's still worried about me CTB. This sucks! Failing is the worst.

 

[foxdie]

Something tells me OP won't respond anymore. They have accomplished what they want...

 

[greyhound]

I imagine there are similar feelings. The added difficulty of processing suicide for those left behind is the fact that it was voluntary on the individual's part. So it's like someone dying, but they wanted to die and leave you.

 

[WornOutLife]

Something tells me OP won't respond anymore. They have accomplished what they want...

He made me remember one of the saddest relationships I ever had and also, how my mind is 24/7 on "ctb mode"
I'm so sad now LOL!
Well, not really, these are my experiences after all and I love sharing them you and also reading yours.

 

[foxdie]

He made me remember one of the saddest relationships I ever had and also, how my mind is 24/7 on "ctb mode"
I'm so sad now LOL!
Well, not really, these are my experiences after all and I love sharing them you and also reading yours.

Sorry this brought that up for you friend. You're such a genuine person and I love reading yours too it's nice having you back!

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

You are talking about the impact of ctb on others, right? I don't think it's like a normal breakup at all. Maybe if you were together for years and your lives were completely entwined, then yes, a piece of you dies when that person leaves. However, death is permanent.

I've lost a close friend to ctb, had many attempts in my family, several people I never got to know like aunts, uncles, cousins all ctb when I was very young. So I have a way of viewing and processing death that a lot of people probably don't, because I've been consistently exposed to it since a young age.

I don't blame people for ctb, nor do I think anyone could have prevented it in a lot of cases if the person is hellbent on leaving this world. After my father passed, it hurt terribly, but even as a child I was able to recognise that he was no longer suffering and finally got to have peace from a life of torment.

Watching one of my family members succumb to a horrible illness and go out the natural way was far more traumatizing to me personally than hearing that someone I cared about ctb, because I knew how much pain that person was in.

Grief causes strange and devastating feelings for many people, and out of grief many people see ctb as the worst way a person can go out. Because they want that person back they go over a multitude of possibilities in their heads about how it could have been prevented. I have been in that position, and I realized it wasn't doing myself or my late friend any favors to think about what ifs.

 

[Kramer]

I thought you said suicide isn't a tragedy so why would anyone need to recover after? Unless you've changed your mind on that, then don't mind me. That's quite the reversal in opinion, if so. If not, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on why you think suicide isn't a tragedy yet it's something those left behind need to recover from. It's a unique take.

It's a matter of perspective. Are you really that dense? I dont think it's a tragedy but why would that dictate how other people view suicide?

Something tells me OP won't respond anymore. They have accomplished what they want...

I was asleep for fuck sake.

Like others said, there is no comparison. Recovering from a suicide attempt is very traumatising. Breakups hurt, yes, but it is nothing like waking up after after an attempt and realising how even more screwed you are.

This isn't about you but those you leave behind.

 

[foxdie]

It's a matter of perspective. Are you really that dense? I dont think it's a tragedy but why would that dictate how other people view suicide?

Oh is that a bit of nuiance I detect? Maybe I am dense but your statement on suicide and tragedy was very declarative and your explanation was short and absurd. It didn't really leave a lot of room for interpretation. Also comparing recovery from a suicide and a breakup is very insensitive and reductive. Maybe make more effort to explain yourself so dense folks like myself don't misunderstand you. Key words: more effort.

I was asleep for fuck sake.

My bad, I thought you didn't sleep because of the red light.

 

[Ghost2211]

No, they couldn't be much less similar. There really is nothing like suicide.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Its one of the worst possible forms of grief to encounter for the close family members. Parents and children especially will be coping for years.

 

[Itsjustme21]

Something tells me OP won't respond anymore. They have accomplished what they want...

I am curious what you think OP wanted to accomplish.

 

[Kramer]

I am curious what you think OP wanted to accomplish.

Yeah that person always goes through my threads giving me shit. Fuck em

 

[foxdie]

I am curious what you think OP wanted to accomplish.

I'll let you make your own determination on that one.

Yeah that person always goes through my threads giving me shit. Fuck em

Oh buddy, I don't always comment on your threads. You make so many, how could I lol. I think if you go back and check a sampling of the ones that haven't been deleted, you'll see I don't actually comment on very many. But don't let me shatter your persecution complex over there, I'm sure it does wonders in the dating world...

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Yeah that person always goes through my threads giving me shit. Fuck em

Because so many of your threads are asking questions that seem to be intended to get people riled up, and they can come across as insensitive. And when people say something that you don't like, you attack them. There's plenty of reasons to "give you shit".

 

[whywere]

I have 2 attempts so far. Both times , except for the cops and mental health people no one cared. I agree with some of the others here where some/alot of people looked down on me as a nut job and please stay away from us. I have no family or friends so that aspect never came into play. Thank heavens that I have no money or if I do try ctb again, 3th time is the charm, my greedy brother and sister would be all over my affairs after ctb. Thank you GOD, for giving me all the great global family members here. You folks are my family and I love and care for each and every one of you!!!!! Walter

 

[jd300100]

nowhere near.
my uncle ctb on feb 19th, 2020. i was in the hospital as a blood pig while he was in surgery in case he needed more while we were waiting on bags from downstairs.
he left while on the operating table.

i had to hold my grandparents while they screamed. had to bring his girlfriend into the small room and tell her myself since the surgeon had already left. had to... pick up the pieces myself.

i had to call my mom and tell her that her brother was gone. i had to call his nine year old son and explain what had happened - that he was never going to see his dad again.

i didn't cry for 9 months. i didn't cry until his birthday. the first without him. i planned the funeral practically by myself. i planned the reception practically by myself. as a freshly 20 year old... i had to simultaneously find time to grieve and get him in the ground.

once i started crying? i haven't stopped. i cry myself to sleep every single night. i have his picture in a locket around my neck. i've already worn through the gold plating from rubbing it so much.
i have held his child as we have cried together. sat in his bed, still blood soaked with the bullet hole in it and everything, and just... sobbed. there is nothing i can do to get my uncle back. i will never forgive myself for not seeing the signs.
i'm hyperventilating now, as i'm typing. it's getting hard to see, to breathe. i miss him every single moment of every single day. it's been almost a year. my life will never be the same.

so to answer your question: no. it's not. there's no such thing as recovering from a loved one's suicide. i would rather get broken up with a million times than experience this ever again.

i miss you, eric. i miss you so much.

 

[fixitinpost]

I don't think it's all that meaningful to compare situations across the board, OP. Everyone processes each unique set of circumstances in their own way. For me, I could only imagine losing a kid would completely fuck me up beyond anything else in this world. That's why I'm hanging on until my aging mother has passed away. As for her passing, if it happens quickly and painlessly for her I think I will not require a lot of time for mourning. I don't really have a close relationship to my family. I think what will cause me the most pain is seeing how it affects my brother and sister.

Breakups, well, they can fuck with me in ways that I don't think any death ever will.

 

[sourpink]

I don't see much similarities if any.
I personally have high respect for those who make the choice to ctb but as one who has survived several attempts I'm well aware not everyone holds such a perspective.
it can be difficult for people who haven't been in a suicidal mindset themselves.
I've lost people to suicide. fuck, I've held someone in my arms as they passed while waiting for medical help - to this day I can't conclusively say whether they were intentionally leaving or if their od was a true accident. but they're gone regardless.
the feelings are very different from even the worst of my breakups.
and even with my understanding of needing to ctb, processing the loss can be difficult. I see it kinda similarly to watching someone I've been close to succumb to cancer, or whatever terminal ailment they might have. it's upsetting, yeah, but it does always bring me comfort knowing someone who ctb was able to leave on their own terms.

and yeah, OP. you do kinda stir the pot. of course you're gonna catch hell for that.
but honestly, I like the dialogue some of your prompts have sparked. and I kinda like the mindset I get the impression you have.

 

[Mentalmick]

I don't have a next of kin so it's not something I think about.

 

[Kramer]

nowhere near.
my uncle ctb on feb 19th, 2020. i was in the hospital as a blood pig while he was in surgery in case he needed more while we were waiting on bags from downstairs.
he left while on the operating table.

i had to hold my grandparents while they screamed. had to bring his girlfriend into the small room and tell her myself since the surgeon had already left. had to... pick up the pieces myself.

i had to call my mom and tell her that her brother was gone. i had to call his nine year old son and explain what had happened - that he was never going to see his dad again.

i didn't cry for 9 months. i didn't cry until his birthday. the first without him. i planned the funeral practically by myself. i planned the reception practically by myself. as a freshly 20 year old... i had to simultaneously find time to grieve and get him in the ground.

I hope that's the reaction i get. My pain will fill the earth in small increments. Butterfly effect

 

[paininme]

It's so so much worse it's indescribable like you will never see sun again, knowing he will never experience things is heartbreaking like when it snows I think he loved the snow I wish he could see it. Knowing they wasn't happy and can never experience happiness again is just the worse