Is positivity a trick? Do you trust yourself when you feel a tinge of hope?

[BeautifulMosaics]

Because that's the way I feel lol. I woke up this morning feeling like I want to go for a walk and exercise and lose weight. And live my life really lol. Keeping in mind the thread I created literally last night: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...st-confirms-i-want-to-ctb.74613/#post-1345149 (Winter darkness and anxiety and phobias make me sure I want to ctb).

But then I think about my phobias which stop me from going outside. How the winter brings up bad memories and sadness (which already exists year round, just that winter makes it worse). How I'll have to confront that and how much I'll have to do. How down it will get me in the process and how it will never leave. On top of my fading dreams and fire for a music career which I let myself down over. I think I don't want to live having never achieved what I believe to be my destiny. I'm so far gone from having access to free time to explore that and youth music opportunities because I'll be a certain age next year. I could also become a student which would give me more free time as opposed to working. Give me a social life since covid restrictions are gone now. But even then I have an executive functional disorder and have never thought I'd be able to complete a degree, I couldn't even commit to studying at lower levels.

So that's what makes me think my hope is just a trick to keep me here longer to suffer when there's far too much stacked against me.

 

[Hurt]

I'm afraid of feeling that hope sensation because destiny always disappoints me.

 

[eryu]

I do see them as a sort of trick. That's just what's been borne out by my experience. Pretty much every time I was felt good, hopeful, capable, etc. it was fleeting and lead to disappointment.
I'm able to relax about positive feelings a bit more now since I've lowered my expectations of what they mean.
I don't put much more stock in them than when you feel good because you've had a few drinks. I know they don't necessarily mean I'll be able to do what I thought without crashing.

 

[juraviel]

it's not a trick. maybe you can trick yourself for some time, but eventually, reality will catch up. but you can work on your long term contentment through good life choices

 

[BrokenArrow]

Yeah, it's basically a trick. If you constantly reinforce it, you can make some progress with it and maybe inch your way towards a more positive mindset.

However, psychological studies have consistently shown that we retain negative memories and naturally focus on negative emotions/memories at a far higher rate than we do positive ones. This is a leftover survival mechanism from our more primitive days, where we needed a highly active threat detection system to ensure survival.

It's a weird thing to actually realise that our brains are fundamentally constructed to detect and focus on negativity rather than positivity - it helps explain why depression is such a widespread phenomenon and so many treatments are futile.

 

[FuneralCry]

At this point, for me everything is hopeless. However in the past, when I have occasionally felt hope, it has just lead to more suffering. Any hope for me has been delusional. Having hope is just something to lose and cause you feelings of disappointment. It is better to have none in the first place.

 

[Naufrago]

Concordo com o BrokenArrow. As situações negativas do dia a dia ficam gravadas na memória consciente ou no subconsciente, pois, tais situações são traumáticas, deixam cicatrizes.
Mas é quase impossível, para aqueles acometidos de depressão ver as coisas com outros olhos...

 

[fox_wannabe]

Waking up happy happens to me often, it is about how we keep being happy through out the day. I am coming to understanding that it might be because of the fact that when awake my brain produces inflammatory chemicals that are produced in process of thinking-->producing and releasing neurotransmitters or in the process of being stressed (my overactive amygdala produced by years of trauma) and they accumulate during the day and they are later cleaned out during night.

 

[meetapple]

I am in a constant cycle of depression and elevated optimism. Whenever I deal with people I get depressed for a while afterwards. it goes away after a while. I used to believe I could overcome my problems with people but the chances of that happening are quite slim. I think it comes from my dad who doesn't believe in giving up. He is a doctor so he thinks any problem can be overcome.

 

[aludnelac]

hope is a tricky and dangerous thing.. id you can keep it sustained long enough to translate into some positive action in your life it's great, but usually it's just some kind of delusional cope or incredibly ephemeral.. it always seems to slip through one's fingers like loose sand, lost to the wind before you realize you're only holding onto air.. i usually tell myself any hope experienced is just a temporary state of mind, and it will quickly be quashed by something, since that's usually how it goes.. it's pretty uhhh hopeless.. lol

 

[honig]

I treat this as a normal mood. Sometimes I feel pleasant, sometimes (most of the time lol) I feel depressed. Sometimes I appreciate beauty of the world, sometimes I despise it. But none of it changes the fact, that I no longer want to exist.

 

[Darkover]

optimism is just reality planning to kill you, i was extremely optimistic about the future of the world when i was 18 i thought things would be a million times better in 10 years time to point i didn't take my self to the dentist when i needed to instead i let my teeth rot away thinking they be able to regrow them or fix them, i made a terrible life decision.

 

[Naufrago]

I agree with BrokenArrow. The negative situations of the day to day are recorded in the conscious memory or in the subconscious, because such situations are traumatic, leave scars. But it is almost impossible for those affected by depression to see things with other eyes...

 

[Naufrago]

My logic tells me I should be positive, but my brain won't allow me. Negativism, pessimism and hopelessness haunt me most of the day.

 

[existtosuffer]

I've always focused on the negative to prepare myself not to get carried away. For me I struggle to think positively because I always look at the bigger picture of instances where the positive outlook is usually short lived. I've always felt that it's borderline delusion to think so positively about myself.

 

[Quiet Desperation]

My belief is that to the extent positivity helps you go forth and do something productive that you want to do, have at it.

However I have a real problem with the "positive thinking is the solution for every problem" cult as I know many others here do. One of the biggest issues for me is that it blames victims for their situation when they're suffering the most. You're miserable? Guess you weren't thinking positively enough. Total bullshit.

Hope? YMMV. I lost mine a few years ago.