U

Underdepth

Member
Nov 19, 2019
83
no, One of the reasons I'll be Ctbing is out of loneliness , it's the endurance of pain, bleakness and dissatisfied and deprived of my human needs and essentials evedydsy . Loneliness is like being starved from water or food, it's just as painful and lethal . ( I watched from a YouTube educational video )
 
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Eren

Eren

Si hablas español mándame un MP
Oct 27, 2018
1,073
Loneliness is like being starved from water or food, it's just as painful and lethal . ( I watched from a YouTube educational video )
Completely agree, and it is also something silent, it is not like a disease which is visible and others can see your problem, loneliness is not seen as a problem when you talk to others, they just tell me to adapt to being alone, I have already found better advice in this thread than IRL
 
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waterbottleman

waterbottleman

Not a person
Sep 30, 2019
721
I'm ctbing because of loneliness and existential reasons.

From what I've read online, a lot of people (particularly middle aged men) kill themselves from loneliness or become addicted to drugs/alcohol because of it.

im not middle aged, but I'm really fucking lonely and it is one of the two biggest reasons why I dont want to live anymore.
 
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BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,361
Everyone has their own reasons to CTB and none are less valid than any others. Being lonely is horrible, I chose to be it because it makes things easier for me to CTB, but to be forced into that situation must be horrible. But know that you aren't alone, you have us and sure we might not be there in person, but we are here all the time for you. Sending love :heart:
 
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waterbottleman

waterbottleman

Not a person
Sep 30, 2019
721
they just tell me to adapt to being alone, I have already found better advice in this thread than IRL
yeah I've heard this more times than I can remember, and yet the advice just doesn't address my fundamental need for companionship

They always say something like "focus on yourself" "focus on your hobbies" "improve yourself"

This advice completely ignores context. It ignores the fact that I and many others who feel this way have been lonely for years not weeks or months, in my specific case 12 years. I think focusing on myself for 12 years, doing hobbies for 12 years is long enough. I'm tired of being alone, ive been alone for over a decade. Its a lack of empathy to not understand what it's like to be alone for that long, I suspect people who say stuff like this are people who have never experienced being alone that long and don't have too much trouble with dating. Their heart is in the right place but they really haven't experienced what it's like to be so universally rejected for years and years and experiencing just how lonely and soul crushing it is.

Also what happens when you try to improve yourself and it still doesn't work? What if you have a decent paying job, have hobbies, go out, wear decent clothes that fit you well, have good hygiene, and you still can't find a single person who is interested. Then what? You're fucked, that's the answer but no one wants to acknowledge that because everyone likes to believe in the fantasy that there's someone for everyone and that no one will fall through the cracks if they just put in some effort.
 
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Eren

Eren

Si hablas español mándame un MP
Oct 27, 2018
1,073
yeah I've heard this more times than I can remember, and yet the advice just doesn't address my fundamental need for companionship

They always say something like "focus on yourself" "focus on your hobbies" "improve yourself"

This advice completely ignores context. It ignores the fact that I and many others who feel this way have been lonely for years not weeks or months, in my specific case 12 years. I think focusing on myself for 12 years, doing hobbies for 12 years is long enough. I'm tired of being alone, ive been alone for over a decade. Its a lack of empathy to not understand what it's like to be alone for that long, I suspect people who say stuff like this are people who have never experienced being alone that long and don't have too much trouble with dating.

Also what happens when you try to improve yourself and it still doesn't work? What if you have a decent paying job, have hobbies, go out, wear decent clothes that fit you well, have good hygiene, and you still can't find a single person who is interested. Then what? You're fucked, that's the answer but no one wants to acknowledge that because everyone likes to believe in the fantasy that there's someone for everyone and that no one will fall through the cracks if they just put in some effort.

I completely agree, I don't think those people have bad intentions in their advice, but at least in my case it does the opposite to help me.

And like you, I'm tired of being alone, I feel this way since I was a teenager.
 
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G

goomsoom

M - 30
Jan 17, 2020
173
I am lonely and i know i will always be. I am too broke to have a relationship. Life has becomes meaningless and too exhausting.
 
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C

Circlingthedrain

Member
Jan 2, 2020
30
Apart from being in constant physical agony it's as good a reason as I can think of , it's what got me here
 
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waterbottleman

waterbottleman

Not a person
Sep 30, 2019
721
I completely agree, I don't think those people have bad intentions in their advice, but at least in my case it does the opposite to help me.

And like you, I'm tired of being alone, I feel this way since I was a teenager.

I agree, I don't think they have bad intentions. I just think they lack the experience to understand what it's like to me lonely for prolonged periods of time.

However some people can be assholes about it and accuse you of being "entitled" when you express your feelings about how lonely it is and how it makes you feel being unable to find a partner.

The lack of compassion makes me want to ctb more, it just reinforces the notion that not only can I not fulfill my desire to have a partner, but I'm not even allowed to express how that makes me feel else I'm accused of being entitled. So I can't even express my feelings without being criticized and shamed for it.

It just reinforces the loneliness cause you realize no one cares about how you feel.

I don't think people realize how alienating it is when you try to open yourself up and the only thing you're looking for is some compassion from people ans instead of giving that to you they ridicule and shame you for it, accusing you of feeling things that you actually don't.

I know I'm not entitled to having a partner, but it fucking sucks not being able to get one and it would be nice to be shown some compassion. I don't think I'm a terrible person for feeling that way but mainstream society seems to think otherwise. Mainstream society just wants you to "focus on yourself" which pretty much is an implicit "shut the fuck up, your feelings and needs are of no value."
 
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Eren

Eren

Si hablas español mándame un MP
Oct 27, 2018
1,073
I am lonely and i know i will always be. I am too broke to have a relationship. Life has becomes meaningless and too exhausting.

Sorry.. I feel the same.
I agree, I don't think they have bad intentions. I just think they lack the experience to understand what it's like to me lonely for prolonged periods of time.

However some people can be assholes about it and accuse you of being "entitled" when you express your feelings about how lonely it is and how it makes you feel being unable to find a partner.

The lack of compassion makes me want to ctb more, it just reinforces the notion that not only can I not fulfill my desire to have a partner, but I'm not even allowed to express how that makes me feel else I'm accused of being entitled. So I can't even express my feelings without being criticized and shamed for it.

It just reinforces the loneliness cause you realize no one cares about how you feel.

I don't think people realize how alienating it is when you try to open yourself up and the only thing you're looking for is some compassion from people ans instead of giving that to you they ridicule and shame you for it, accusing you of feeling things that you actually don't.

I know I'm not entitled to having a partner, but it fucking sucks not being able to get one and it would be nice to be shown some compassion. I don't think I'm a terrible person for feeling that way but mainstream society seems to think otherwise. Mainstream society just wants you to "focus on yourself" which pretty much is an implicit "shut the fuck up, your feelings and needs are of no value."

Yes I agree, it is frustrating to not even be able to express how bad you are and judge you for it.
 
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sadgirl2002

sadgirl2002

Fallen Angel
Apr 9, 2019
452
It's definitely a good reason. When you don't have friends, a partner or anyone who even truly understands what you're going through, we might as well be dead. I lost my best friend, my sister of 8 years. I'm completely empty now, I tell myself that I'm better off alone because I don't trust anyone anymore and I hate people but I just my sister back, I want the old her back. I can't socialise with people due to my social anxiety which tends to kick in a lot and there's the other part of me that doesn't want to socialise with others. I'm in so much pain, I don't know how I've been suppressing it all this time. Life is awful when you're alone.
 
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TheOA

TheOA

Student
Jan 5, 2020
101
I sympathize with you :heart:

For me, it's actually quite the opposite. I WANT to be lonely/alone and my life is full of (amazing) people that I am just not able to fully appreciate which actually makes me want to end it all.
Our 'treasures' will always be someone else's 'trash' and too many times there is nothing we can do about it.

So to answer your question: I think that when we decide upon what we value in life and realize that it may never be our 'reality' that is a reasonable catalyst for feeling suicidal.
 
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Eren

Eren

Si hablas español mándame un MP
Oct 27, 2018
1,073
It's definitely a good reason. When you don't have friends, a partner or anyone who even truly understands what you're going through, we might as well be dead. I lost my best friend, my sister of 8 years. I'm completely empty now, I tell myself that I'm better off alone because I don't trust anyone anymore and I hate people but I just my sister back, I want the old her back. I can't socialise with people due to my social anxiety which tends to kick in a lot and there's the other part of me that doesn't want to socialise with others. I'm in so much pain, I don't know how I've been suppressing it all this time. Life is awful when you're alone.
so sorry,
and I understand what you say, it's horrible not to have anyone who really understands you, my mother loves me but doesn't understand me, I don't really have anyone to talk IRL
I sympathize with you :heart:

For me, it's actually quite the opposite. I WANT to be lonely/alone and my life is full of (amazing) people that I am just not able to fully appreciate which actually makes me want to end it all.
Our 'treasures' will always be someone else's 'trash' and too many times there is nothing we can do about it.

So to answer your question: I think that when we decide upon what we value in life and realize that it may never be our 'reality' that is a reasonable catalyst for feeling suicidal.

I understand, and I agree, really what for one person is important for another not etc ...
 
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Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,017
Being lonely all the time is the emotional version of unrelenting agonizing physical pain. Neither provides any quality of life.
 
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R

rllyfckinempty

New Member
Jan 26, 2020
3
i definitely think it's a good enough reason to want to, i believe that's a lot of the reason i want to ctb now. i got married at 19 thinking that it would cure my loneliness but speaking from experience, even if you do think that you found a companion, that loneliness never goes away.
 
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S

S1mpleme

Mage
Dec 27, 2019
517
I know this is the typical thing that many people say, but loneliness really bothers me.

I have a job that I like, I don't have really serious health problems (some not serious, but tolerable), I get along with my parents etc ... but loneliness bothers me, I don't feel like others, I can't even keep IRL friendships, the only "friends" I thought were my friends (I met them since childhood) ignore me and use me as their "plan b" which is really painful.

I would love to have a partner and share my life with that person, but it is impossible due to my null social skills and my strange sexuality. Many people would think that they are nonsense, but I really do not enjoy life, loneliness is not the only reason, but it is 70%, I never feel good in a group etc ... Does this happen to anyone else?

Do you think it is an absurd motive for CTB?
It is good reason for me. Whole my life I live alone. Literally I dont have family and friends, not even a single person around me. Everything on my own. I got no one to tell a joke, or someone would make a chicken soup for me when I'm sick. Never had a day off, even if I'm sick or dying nobody cares, must work all the time to survive. Every morning I wake up with that emptiness inside, I ask myself why I woke up today, if didn't nobody cares anyway. When I die, nobody finds my corpse for weeks.
Being lonely all the time is the emotional version of unrelenting agonizing physical pain. Neither provides any quality of life.
All the physical pain I've ever felt in my life together cant compare to the emotional, it is much worse you can't take just pain relief. I mean sure, I bet there are pills that make you a vegetable, but it's just useless. It's like if someone doesn't have a hand and taking pills won't help to grow up a new hand.
 
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E

Emily123

Arcanist
May 28, 2019
460
No defently not . you can find friends . if you have problem in finding friends , You can work on yourself
 
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seekingoblivion

seekingoblivion

Arcanist
Dec 11, 2018
454
Well it's amongst my reasons for wanting to ctb. That existence of wanting to belong somewhere but never finding it can really drain a soul. The worst is when others trivialize your unhappiness in this area and the loneliness is coupled with feelings of shame and self loathing for wanting but failing to do something most people find so easy.
 
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faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,138
There are no reasons which can be good or bad to CTB.
But for most people loneliness is one of the reasons.
Even if you decide to find somebody, be ready that you can be let down, they can fly away from you.
If you have many people surrounding you, you can hardly find time for yourself.
As well as relationships do not solve all the problems in your life.
If loneliness is just one reason, you will feel okay about not CTB,
But! If you have a lot of issues and a lot of friends, all the issues won't disappear. You will merely forget about everything for a while.
The problems are not solved, they are postponed.
Anyway, wish you find peace! :heart:
 
Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

JFMSUF
Aug 21, 2019
1,938
IMO: No, that is a terrible reason because that is something that can be fixed and I say this as a very lonely person. I mean, I'm not telling you not to, just that I think it's not worth killing yourself over provided you don't have other problems. Despite it being a cliche, suicide is a permanent solution and should only be reserved for permanent problems.
 
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Kneel

Kneel

Member
Jan 24, 2020
12
It is as valid as any other reason. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
 
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Eren

Eren

Si hablas español mándame un MP
Oct 27, 2018
1,073
No defently not . you can find friends . if you have problem in finding friends , You can work on yourself

I would not consider CTB if I had not tried hard throughout my life, it is not the only problem I have, but it is one of the ones that bothers me the most
 
S

S1mpleme

Mage
Dec 27, 2019
517
No defently not . you can find friends . if you have problem in finding friends , You can work on yourself
Sure, this is not the world, just me, right? Do you mind to be more specific about work on myself? Just would like to read some more pointless sentences.
 

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