is living out of spite bad?

[underscore_nine]

I haven't committed yet to CTB because of my spite towards my mother. I desperately want to prove that I can (and will be) more monetarily successful than her despite her hatred towards me throughout my teenage years. Is this a bad reason to keep yourself alive? I feel like it's a bit dumb and likely to blow up in my face but it motivates me to do better regardless. I'm not sure if this is a positive or negative piece of motivation

 

[exiled]

i mean, it seems to me that there might be something underlying there. i don't think that you want to live purely for spite; i think it's giving you some inspiration and motivation to keep fighting but i really don't believe it's your only reason. use whatever fuel you gotta use to not ctb if you don't want to do so, but maybe try to investigate deeper within yourself why you want to prove this to your mother so much. what matters to you about showing her your success? what really is that about?

either way, if you haven't committed to ctb yet then i am happy that you are still here. it doesn't sound like something you want to jump into impulsively and if recovery is something that sounds remotely interesting to you, then i believe with a deeper look you can get there. please take care of yourself, and know that you are not alone. it's tough out there, but i believe that you have the ability to fight tougher.

 

[Abyssal]

i mean, it seems to me that there might be something underlying there. i don't think that you want to live purely for spite; i think it's giving you some inspiration and motivation to keep fighting but i really don't believe it's your only reason. use whatever fuel you gotta use to not ctb if you don't want to do so, but maybe try to investigate deeper within yourself why you want to prove this to your mother so much. what matters to you about showing her your success? what really is that about?

either way, if you haven't committed to ctb yet then i am happy that you are still here. it doesn't sound like something you want to jump into impulsively and if recovery is something that sounds remotely interesting to you, then i believe with a deeper look you can get there. please take care of yourself, and know that you are not alone. it's tough out there, but i believe that you have the ability to fight tougher.

Couldn't have said it better myself. I have nothing to add on that thought.

What I do have to say? Good and bad are subjective and even if you live out of spite it's still fine to do that. I mean your life right? Good luck showing you mother who's the boss! Even then you are already superior in my mind for recognizing her terrible treatment of you.