Venting Is life actually worth it anymore?

[AngelTears]

No. It's not. Have asked myself this question multiple times in this week alone and the answer each time is no, no, no, no. I have this tightening feeling in my chest at all times when I think about my position in life at the moment. When I talk to people that I think are good but are just using me, I just wish I had the heart to tell them what I really think about them. But even in those situations I feel that hurting is not warranted. Hurting someone else is just not in me, just hurting myself apparently.

I just really don't understand the meaning behind all of this. You're supposed to give meaning to this piece of shit, but I just can't find anything meaningful, no matter how hard I try. Gosh I just really hate myself for posting this because I feel like I am just going to needlessly make someone feel bad. Why can't I be content with what I have? I just want some lasting meaningful thing in this life... Something to look forward to... Something other than death... But slowly I have begun to realize that death is all that I truly have left.

Why do I just feel so toxic? I feel like I'll never be able to find anyone or anything meaningful ever. The only person I felt truly cared for me is leaving and it just all feels so surreal... I sort of hope nobody reads this posts so they don't have to feel bad about me... People have enough of their problems to deal with my meaningless life. I don't get what it is that I do to just ruin everything. I have the shit midas touch, everything I touch just turns to shit. The floor beneath me has been giving away all these years, but recently I noticed that it's on it's last legs. The walls they melt, and I with them...

To conclude, living this life of fake smiles and it's ok's has left me feeling all plasticky and fake. I think I've lost myself in whatever this person that says they are is. Gosh, this pain is just too much it just hurts! I never thought that I'd been in so much mental anguish that ot would physically hurt... I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like such a piece of shit for now wanting the people I care about to feel bad or ctb, meanwhile it's all that I fell, all that I want. Death is all that I have. Life isn't worth it.


Sincerely,

HeroinTears

 

[Silent Raindrops]

Hasn't been worth it to me for the last 30 years.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Due to how my brain is wired, I can't find any meaning as to why I should continue to live. After all, for me, there's nothing that justifies the suffering we have to go through. I hope that you find peace eventually

 

[AngelTears]

Hasn't been worth it to me for the last 30 years.

I am very sorry to hear that... I completely understand you though... Life just really gets harder and less important second..

Due to how my brain is wired, I can't find any meaning as to why I should continue to live. After all, for me, there's nothing that justifies the suffering we have to go through. I hope that you find peace eventually

Thank you... I hope you find yours as well... I am just very tired of trying to feel better. I am convinced that feeling good is just a lie others tell us to make us feel jealous of something that actually doesn't exist, in some weird way.

 

[doormat25]

No. It's not. Have asked myself this question multiple times in this week alone and the answer each time is no, no, no, no. I have this tightening feeling in my chest at all times when I think about my position in life at the moment. When I talk to people that I think are good but are just using me, I just wish I had the heart to tell them what I really think about them. But even in those situations I feel that hurting is not warranted. Hurting someone else is just not in me, just hurting myself apparently.

I just really don't understand the meaning behind all of this. You're supposed to give meaning to this piece of shit, but I just can't find anything meaningful, no matter how hard I try. Gosh I just really hate myself for posting this because I feel like I am just going to needlessly make someone feel bad. Why can't I be content with what I have? I just want some lasting meaningful thing in this life... Something to look forward to... Something other than death... But slowly I have begun to realize that death is all that I truly have left.

Why do I just feel so toxic? I feel like I'll never be able to find anyone or anything meaningful ever. The only person I felt truly cared for me is leaving and it just all feels so surreal... I sort of hope nobody reads this posts so they don't have to feel bad about me... People have enough of their problems to deal with my meaningless life. I don't get what it is that I do to just ruin everything. I have the shit midas touch, everything I touch just turns to shit. The floor beneath me has been giving away all these years, but recently I noticed that it's on it's last legs. The walls they melt, and I with them...

To conclude, living this life of fake smiles and it's ok's has left me feeling all plasticky and fake. I think I've lost myself in whatever this person that says they are is. Gosh, this pain is just too much it just hurts! I never thought that I'd been in so much mental anguish that ot would physically hurt... I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like such a piece of shit for now wanting the people I care about to feel bad or ctb, meanwhile it's all that I fell, all that I want. Death is all that I have. Life isn't worth it.


Sincerely,

HeroinTears

I find meaning in everything. It's all very overwhelming and my body is in pain from thinking/feeling so much. So many extraordinary moments/opportunities/reasons I want to stay here. overwhelming.

 

[Doemu]

I think life has the meaning we can give it to it... or not. To me is empty, emptiness becamed my meaning.

I hope you find your way, a way that make you not suffer again.

 

[onbekend]

Absolutely not. Life is an endless struggle.

 

[AngelTears]

I find meaning in everything. It's all very overwhelming and my body is in pain from thinking/feeling so much. So many extraordinary moments/opportunities/reasons I want to stay here. overwhelming.

Very glad for you.. Hope you don't have to feel this way ever tbh...
Thank

I think life has the meaning we can give it to it... or not. To me is empty, emptiness becamed my meaning.

I hope you find your way, a way that make you not suffer again.

Thank you Doemu, I really hope you yourself can find your way...

 

[qsocdu]

No. It's not. Have asked myself this question multiple times in this week alone and the answer each time is no, no, no, no. I have this tightening feeling in my chest at all times when I think about my position in life at the moment. When I talk to people that I think are good but are just using me, I just wish I had the heart to tell them what I really think about them. But even in those situations I feel that hurting is not warranted. Hurting someone else is just not in me, just hurting myself apparently.

I just really don't understand the meaning behind all of this. You're supposed to give meaning to this piece of shit, but I just can't find anything meaningful, no matter how hard I try. Gosh I just really hate myself for posting this because I feel like I am just going to needlessly make someone feel bad. Why can't I be content with what I have? I just want some lasting meaningful thing in this life... Something to look forward to... Something other than death... But slowly I have begun to realize that death is all that I truly have left.

Why do I just feel so toxic? I feel like I'll never be able to find anyone or anything meaningful ever. The only person I felt truly cared for me is leaving and it just all feels so surreal... I sort of hope nobody reads this posts so they don't have to feel bad about me... People have enough of their problems to deal with my meaningless life. I don't get what it is that I do to just ruin everything. I have the shit midas touch, everything I touch just turns to shit. The floor beneath me has been giving away all these years, but recently I noticed that it's on it's last legs. The walls they melt, and I with them...

To conclude, living this life of fake smiles and it's ok's has left me feeling all plasticky and fake. I think I've lost myself in whatever this person that says they are is. Gosh, this pain is just too much it just hurts! I never thought that I'd been in so much mental anguish that ot would physically hurt... I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like such a piece of shit for now wanting the people I care about to feel bad or ctb, meanwhile it's all that I fell, all that I want. Death is all that I have. Life isn't worth it.


Sincerely,

HeroinTears

The shit midas touch made me laugh, thank you, it's been a really shitty day and was the only thing I related to today

 

[AngelTears]

The shit midas touch made me laugh, thank you, it's been a really shitty day and was the only thing I related to today

Very glad I could make someone feel good, even if just a little bit

 

[FuneralCry]

It's not for me as well, in fact in my case it could never be, only death can bring me peace from this cruel and meaningless existence. But anyway I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering, best wishes.

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

I completely agree. We're all just cogs in a machine at the end of the day. I especially relate to what you said about things being plasticky and fake, it all just feels so gross, tacky and superficial to me that I'd rather ctb than play this game anymore.

 

[Ironborn]

I completely agree. We're all just cogs in a machine at the end of the day. I especially relate to what you said about things being plasticky and fake, it all just feels so gross, tacky and superficial to me that I'd rather ctb than play this game anymore.

Only way I see to win the game now is to stop playing and walk away.

 

[outrider567]

Without her, no

 

[piryohae3]

No, just existing is too fucking expensive.

 

[333s]

very same here
I just want some lasting meaningful thing in this life... Something to look forward to... Something other than death... But slowly I have begun to realize that death is all that I truly have left. especially
so now i just romanticize dying with someone i love like double ctb or murder it doesn't matter
i just want to feel loved for a second and take away this feeling into whatever on the other side is
(and finding a partner for it is some sort of "meaning" i currently have lol)

 

[AngelTears]

very same here
I just want some lasting meaningful thing in this life... Something to look forward to... Something other than death... But slowly I have begun to realize that death is all that I truly have left. especially
so now i just romanticize dying with someone i love like double ctb or murder it doesn't matter
i just want to feel loved for a second and take away this feeling into whatever on the other side is
(and finding a partner for it is some sort of "meaning" i currently have lol)

Completely understand what you say :/ Sometimes having an SO really helps. ,

No. It's not. Have asked myself this question multiple times in this week alone and the answer each time is no, no, no, no. I have this tightening feeling in my chest at all times when I think about my position in life at the moment. When I talk to people that I think are good but are just using me, I just wish I had the heart to tell them what I really think about them. But even in those situations I feel that hurting is not warranted. Hurting someone else is just not in me, just hurting myself apparently.

I just really don't understand the meaning behind all of this. You're supposed to give meaning to this piece of shit, but I just can't find anything meaningful, no matter how hard I try. Gosh I just really hate myself for posting this because I feel like I am just going to needlessly make someone feel bad. Why can't I be content with what I have? I just want some lasting meaningful thing in this life... Something to look forward to... Something other than death... But slowly I have begun to realize that death is all that I truly have left.

Why do I just feel so toxic? I feel like I'll never be able to find anyone or anything meaningful ever. The only person I felt truly cared for me is leaving and it just all feels so surreal... I sort of hope nobody reads this posts so they don't have to feel bad about me... People have enough of their problems to deal with my meaningless life. I don't get what it is that I do to just ruin everything. I have the shit midas touch, everything I touch just turns to shit. The floor beneath me has been giving away all these years, but recently I noticed that it's on it's last legs. The walls they melt, and I with them...

To conclude, living this life of fake smiles and it's ok's has left me feeling all plasticky and fake. I think I've lost myself in whatever this person that says they are is. Gosh, this pain is just too much it just hurts! I never thought that I'd been in so much mental anguish that ot would physically hurt... I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like such a piece of shit for now wanting the people I care about to feel bad or ctb, meanwhile it's all that I fell, all that I want. Death is all that I have. Life isn't worth it.


Sincerely,

HeroinTears

Anyone that needs to talk, I am here. Don't hesitate to write me ok? <3,

No. It's not. Have asked myself this question multiple times in this week alone and the answer each time is no, no, no, no. I have this tightening feeling in my chest at all times when I think about my position in life at the moment. When I talk to people that I think are good but are just using me, I just wish I had the heart to tell them what I really think about them. But even in those situations I feel that hurting is not warranted. Hurting someone else is just not in me, just hurting myself apparently.

I just really don't understand the meaning behind all of this. You're supposed to give meaning to this piece of shit, but I just can't find anything meaningful, no matter how hard I try. Gosh I just really hate myself for posting this because I feel like I am just going to needlessly make someone feel bad. Why can't I be content with what I have? I just want some lasting meaningful thing in this life... Something to look forward to... Something other than death... But slowly I have begun to realize that death is all that I truly have left.

Why do I just feel so toxic? I feel like I'll never be able to find anyone or anything meaningful ever. The only person I felt truly cared for me is leaving and it just all feels so surreal... I sort of hope nobody reads this posts so they don't have to feel bad about me... People have enough of their problems to deal with my meaningless life. I don't get what it is that I do to just ruin everything. I have the shit midas touch, everything I touch just turns to shit. The floor beneath me has been giving away all these years, but recently I noticed that it's on it's last legs. The walls they melt, and I with them...

To conclude, living this life of fake smiles and it's ok's has left me feeling all plasticky and fake. I think I've lost myself in whatever this person that says they are is. Gosh, this pain is just too much it just hurts! I never thought that I'd been in so much mental anguish that ot would physically hurt... I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like such a piece of shit for now wanting the people I care about to feel bad or ctb, meanwhile it's all that I fell, all that I want. Death is all that I have. Life isn't worth it.


Sincerely,

HeroinTears

Anyone that needs to talk, I am here. Don't hesitate to write me ok? <3,

No. It's not. Have asked myself this question multiple times in this week alone and the answer each time is no, no, no, no. I have this tightening feeling in my chest at all times when I think about my position in life at the moment. When I talk to people that I think are good but are just using me, I just wish I had the heart to tell them what I really think about them. But even in those situations I feel that hurting is not warranted. Hurting someone else is just not in me, just hurting myself apparently.

I just really don't understand the meaning behind all of this. You're supposed to give meaning to this piece of shit, but I just can't find anything meaningful, no matter how hard I try. Gosh I just really hate myself for posting this because I feel like I am just going to needlessly make someone feel bad. Why can't I be content with what I have? I just want some lasting meaningful thing in this life... Something to look forward to... Something other than death... But slowly I have begun to realize that death is all that I truly have left.

Why do I just feel so toxic? I feel like I'll never be able to find anyone or anything meaningful ever. The only person I felt truly cared for me is leaving and it just all feels so surreal... I sort of hope nobody reads this posts so they don't have to feel bad about me... People have enough of their problems to deal with my meaningless life. I don't get what it is that I do to just ruin everything. I have the shit midas touch, everything I touch just turns to shit. The floor beneath me has been giving away all these years, but recently I noticed that it's on it's last legs. The walls they melt, and I with them...

To conclude, living this life of fake smiles and it's ok's has left me feeling all plasticky and fake. I think I've lost myself in whatever this person that says they are is. Gosh, this pain is just too much it just hurts! I never thought that I'd been in so much mental anguish that ot would physically hurt... I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like such a piece of shit for now wanting the people I care about to feel bad or ctb, meanwhile it's all that I fell, all that I want. Death is all that I have. Life isn't worth it.


Sincerely,

HeroinTears

Anyone that needs to talk, I am here. Don't hesitate to write me ok? <3,

 

[worthIess]

for me, there is no hope. when i look into my future, i see nothingness. i am just not compatible with life. it's tragic honestly.