I have a pretty nice life. I have some friends and a good family and money and things I enjoy doing. The only thing is that I am a Kissless virgin and it makes me feel miserable. I'm starved of touch/affection. My fear is that I will be alone forever and never get to experience it.
Futile
Tired of being lonely
- Sep 3, 2020
- 499
I don't have friends and my family is shit, but my main problem is lack of initmacy/love so I'd say it is a valid reason
almost_dead
Arcanist
- Aug 7, 2020
- 465
yes it is and dont let anyone tell you otherwise
not4us
Experienced
- Sep 21, 2019
- 246
If you are still young I will risk to say that (taking into account that your life is good in all other aspects) lack of intimacy is not a valid reason for ctb. At least for me it would not be valid.
thats far from my only issue but yes, i'd say so. its an important part of life and missing out on it, especially in your teen years, can result in a lot of mental anguish. i do think, though, that you should exhaust most possible options before giving up on it and feeling theres zero chance of it happening, especially if you're under like 21 (aka my age lol)
OnlyTheWind
Serena / Meatball head
- Aug 29, 2020
- 962
Absolutely. I feel miserable, especially during the summer. Back when I was in school, all I wanted was a girlfriend to hug and hold hands with, and this story continues today.
let me elab a bit more actually. if every other aspect of your life is good, i dont think thats a very solid reason to ctb, seeing as how theres still room for it to potentially happen (unless you're like 40) and you have other things to live for. this a bit biased because im someone whose life is really fucked up in just about every way, so if my only serious struggle in life was being unable to get a girlfriend/sex, i dont think i'd be suicidal, especially not with my current mindset because i wouldnt want to take the good things i have for granted. so as shitty as not being able to get a gf is, and as horrible as it might make you feel about yourself in a world where relationships and sex are constantly shoved in your face, i dont think its bad enough on its own to justify ctb if you have other things going on for you. but thats just coming from my hellish perspective, where im unable to enjoy anything in life due to severe physical pain and trauma.
GrumpyFrog
Exhausted
- Aug 23, 2020
- 1,913
Anything that makes you feel like CTB can be a valid reason to CTB. However, it is important to be realistic about your options. There are very few cases when you can really assume that a person is unlikely to ever achieve intimacy.
nitroautnz
Specialist
- Sep 11, 2020
- 361
I was like this until late 20+ but I don't know how to explain it, I meet my ex at a seasonal job and it just happens. Still don't know how, but I don't really care it was 4 awesome years. That will be the main happiness i had in my life. Especially now that I can compare before, during and after. Sometimes you get lucky usually when you not looking for it.
That the main reason I choose to not ctb when i was a teenager, finding love, I find it, now i can go catch the bus more relaxed, considering my mental health issue i still think i was incredibly lucky.
Keep having hope if that the only reason you want to ctb.
That the main reason I choose to not ctb when i was a teenager, finding love, I find it, now i can go catch the bus more relaxed, considering my mental health issue i still think i was incredibly lucky.
Keep having hope if that the only reason you want to ctb.
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 20,751
Fellow kissless virgin here. From a biological standpoint, it's safe to say your body/brain are punishing you for not having that sort of connection because your DNA knows that that's the main way how it's going to be passed down so yes, it is perfectly valid to feel suicidal for not being able to achieve that. I hope that explanation helps. I'm sorry I can't do more for you. If I could, I would have already done it for myself.
Yeah dude my brain can't handle the thought of being alive for another 60 years as a virgin
Yeah my life is mostly bearable right now. It hurts so much thinking that I will never know how heavenly cuddling and sex feels though.
I don't want to lose my virginity in my 30s to a woman that's not really attracted to me. I hate missing out on young love/sex.
Last edited:
OnlyTheWind
Serena / Meatball head
- Aug 29, 2020
- 962
Unfortunately my understanding/ interpretation of this situation has become very warped over the years. I am still obsessed by the memory of a girl from highschool, and cling to this idealistic fantasy which dictates how this problem should be resolved. It's insanity. I was sleeping with a stuffed animal up until 2 years ago, now I regret not having it anymore.
GrumpyFrog
Exhausted
- Aug 23, 2020
- 1,913
If you don't mind my question, what makes you feel that nothing can change in 60 years, other than this was your experience so far?
I understand how being hurt can make you feel like you will always hurt and it can never change, I've been there and I'm sorry if that's what you feel. But let's try to analyze situation, if you don't mind.
nitroautnz
Specialist
- Sep 11, 2020
- 361
Before meeting my ex, I have never been in an intimate situation with a woman. It was very stressful because i didn't know what i should do or not, or what she was expecting. Sleeping with stuff animals is not a problem in my opinion. Like i say i explain my experience, i can't really give advice because can't tell how it happens.
woxihuanni
Illuminated
- Aug 19, 2019
- 3,299
Don't let people tell you it might come in a trillion years and all be good. Before you take the irreversible step to die, put everything you have into creating opportunities to meet a suitable person. Love that comes later in life comes with the other party's baggage.
Hazelnut
Member
- Sep 15, 2020
- 42
It's personally not my only reason, but it really brought me down over the years. Especially when it seems so easy for people around you... You really feel like missing something crucial as a human being. It will probably be my only regret before leaving.
I wish I could give you a hug, GnarlyWalnut32, as well as for all people starved from affection
I wish I could give you a hug, GnarlyWalnut32, as well as for all people starved from affection
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
I don't think it's a valid reason but that's your decision. I would gladly trade places with you.
It's understandable why one might feel that way, but I think that if you're young and especially if you're a dude you have a lot of time to find someone
DoNotLet2
Wizard
- Oct 14, 2019
- 684
Well I think that lack of intimacy isn't your only problem but I might be wrong. I simply can't imagine a situation in which you have everything except for intimacy. Maybe you need to analyze your life a little bit better? Not criticizing you I simply don't know.
Grass is always greener on the other side. I envy you since intimacy has brought me pain, suffering, and trauma. If I had never been intimate I wouldn't be as broken now, but then I would be sad I had never been intimate and feel broken because of that. Yay life.
What does "young" mean to you? For example, very few people would group 35 year olds in the "young" demographic, but someone who dies at 35 is considered "young."
A Retarded Demon
Gib Pancakes Plz
- Jul 9, 2020
- 41
not4us
Experienced
- Sep 21, 2019
- 246
You see, that's why I don't specify the exact age that I consider "young". Everybody decides for themselves what is "their young". That's why I prefer to use the word instead of numbers. In this particular conversation it's relevant what OP-s definition of "young" is.
However, considering the OP said nothing about their job, I assume they are under 25 years old, so definitely young.
IMO, someone aged 18-34 is a young adult.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,707
Absolutely, any reason is valid to the individual experiencing his/her own life. For me, when I was a virgin (before my 29th birthday), I told myself if I didn't lose it before my 30th birthday I would CTB before then. Fortunately, I managed to fulfill that thus that 'reason' is no longer a reason "for me". However, for others that may be a reason and it's perfectly valid.
AlreadyGone
Taking it day by day
- Jan 11, 2020
- 917
Yes, it is a valid reason and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Often times people will tell you that being in a relationship or what not "is not all that cracked up to be" but there is a reason why that person chased after it in the first place. Everyone chases after intimacy and everyone should have the option to experience it whether it works out or not.
BipolarGuy
Enlightened
- Aug 6, 2020
- 1,456
A massage would do nothing to alleviate this. There's nothing intimate about a massage that you have to pay for from a stranger, at least not for most people.
Working on yourself is a good idea though. But if it were that easy, he probably would have done it already. Idk I'm definitely projecting here.
Hmm, massages are a form of touch.
The guy said he was touch deprived too. It may help, it may not.
Working on yourself isn't easy, but it's worth a try.
I disagree.
It's not a case of "you're either attractive, or you're not".
People can loose weight, gain muscle, get better skin, work on their personality traits......
AlreadyGone
Taking it day by day
- Jan 11, 2020
- 917
Yes and that does not work for everyone. It is not that easy to lose weight and put on muscle. Depending on your genetics, it can be easy, or incredibly difficult. It is not a short term fix. It requires a lifestyle change (unless you are using steroids). It requires a lot of dedication and hard work. But if you do not have an attractive face, it would not matter much anyway.
There is a reason why woman often get nose jobs, lip jobs, and etc as short term fixes to better the appearance of their face to look more attractive.
Edit: Just so you know, I am not attacking you. I am a person who went to the gym regularly and have a very fast metabolism. In order for me to put on any muscle, I have to consume nearly 6000 calories per day and had to wake up everyday at 3 AM in the morning just to eat food.
I have seen people struggle in the gym to lose or gain weight and as a result they would give up. So I just feel that it is a blanket statement saying that you can just put on muscle or lose weight unless you have tried and succeeded.
Last edited:
Amumu
Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
- Aug 29, 2020
- 2,624
Focusing on "improving" my physical appearance led me to extreme dysmorphophobia so we should be cautious with that.
I'd say that fucking people you don't love is not that great, if not detrimental.
But we're human beings, so lack of touch and sex can lead to severe depression indeed.
Wrong question.
Who has the right to judge what is or is not a "valid" reason for suicide? (Answer: Nobody!)
If you decide that you want to ctb due to lack of intimacy, that is your choice.
If you decide that you want to live & see if you can find intimacy, that is your choice.
If you decide that you want to live despite a lack of intimacy, that is your choice.
Who has the right to judge what is or is not a "valid" reason for suicide? (Answer: Nobody!)
If you decide that you want to ctb due to lack of intimacy, that is your choice.
If you decide that you want to live & see if you can find intimacy, that is your choice.
If you decide that you want to live despite a lack of intimacy, that is your choice.
BipolarGuy
Enlightened
- Aug 6, 2020
- 1,456
Yes but now we're verging on having a purely academic discussion that is not in any way related to reality.
Firstly, I don't know the OP's genetic makeup.
Nor does he - he isn't going to know whether he will find it easy to put on muscle, loose weight, etc.
Plus the face can be changed: loosing weight, improving skin, even a better hair cut.
