Is it wrong

[Distordedimp]

I have a degenerative disease and plan to catch the bus once it gets to bad, Is it wrong to make friends for them to lose you in lets say 10 years, and just make the friends for them to inevitably mourn you?

 

[Otto Mann]

Forge connections with companions while you still draw breath, unforeseen events could claim you at any given moment. It doesn't always have to be a result of your own actions.

Death arrives without prior notice.

 

[FuneralCry]

No I don't believe so and anyway losing people to death is completely inevitable, just because everyone will die someday doesn't mean that everyone should have to stay isolated from other people unless that's what they want. If the friends are compassionate people then they should be able to understand and come to terms with the decision to cease existing.

 

[obligatoryshackles]

It's pretty arrogant of you to assume people will be so deeply hurt by your passing that it will invalidate the joy of having been your friend. Don't make selfish assumptions about how people will react in the future, that's up to them, not you, to decide.

It's ultimately your decision to make, but for what it's worth, I think you should be allowed to make friends even if you were going to die tomorrow.

 

[アホペンギン]

It's pretty arrogant of you to assume people will be so deeply hurt by your passing that it will invalidate the joy of having been your friend. Don't make selfish assumptions about how people will react in the future, that's up to them, not you, to decide.

It's ultimately your decision to make, but for what it's worth, I think you should be allowed to make friends even if you were going to die tomorrow.

Hello, you responded to one of my posts and the first thing I noticed is that you write very well so I went and read some more of your posts.

I'm by no means out to start an argument nor do I intend to ever start an argument, especially with you because the statements which you make and your arguments justify why you believe in whatever way you believe very well, I would lose the argument against you.

I'd just like to share my insight in regards to your response. It is absolutely not ignorant to express that they're worrisome concerning how their friends will react after they ctb. Nor is it certain that the friends will think like you stated; they'll be happy that they were friends with the OP, rather than mourn their death.

It is not a selfish assumption but rather knowledge and pointing out that its just human nature to mourn someone's death, its an inevitable factor to life, no one can avoid it. You are right that its up to them to decide how to react but they don't necessarily decide how to react, all of their distress induced from death piles up and they ultimately mourn the death. It is not until several years later, when they will possibly get over the death and finally feel happiness due to the fact that they have been friends and cherished the time spent before their death.

You are right about your statement in which you said that you can still make friends before you die, but, if you're planning to die very soon, its basically playing with emotions. The recently befriended person, believes that they'll have an amazing friendship with you and you unexpectedly pass away. This will also cause mourning due to the fact that there is an extremely high likelihood that the friend will place the blame on themselves, as if they led you to ultimately deciding to ctb. Their sadness will be a lot more than some people's, consider this, please.

 

[obligatoryshackles]

Hello, you responded to one of my posts and the first thing I noticed is that you write very well so I went and read some more of your posts.

I'm by no means out to start an argument nor do I intend to ever start an argument, especially with you because the statements which you make and your arguments justify why you believe in whatever way you believe very well, I would lose the argument against you.

I'd just like to share my insight in regards to your response. It is absolutely not ignorant to express that they're worrisome concerning how their friends will react after they ctb. Nor is it certain that the friends will think like you stated; they'll be happy that they were friends with the OP, rather than mourn their death.

It is not a selfish assumption but rather knowledge and pointing out that its just human nature to mourn someone's death, its an inevitable factor to life, no one can avoid it. You are right that its up to them to decide how to react but they don't necessarily decide how to react, all of their distress induced from death piles up and they ultimately mourn the death. It is not until several years later, when they will possibly get over the death and finally feel happiness due to the fact that they have been friends and cherished the time spent before their death.

You are right about your statement in which you said that you can still make friends before you die, but, if you're planning to die very soon, its basically playing with emotions. The recently befriended person, believes that they'll have an amazing friendship with you and you unexpectedly pass away. This will also cause mourning due to the fact that there is an extremely high likelihood that the friend will place the blame on themselves, as if they led you to ultimately deciding to ctb. Their sadness will be a lot more than some people's, consider this, please.

You're absolutely right. The intentionality and deception is a valid source of concern. It is always virtuous to try to avoid intentionally hurting others, by any measure.

So first, perhaps you could start by stating upfront what will happen. You could tell people that you will die at a certain point in the future, whether by your own hands or by a terminal condition, before you become friends. Certainly, this takes away the deception. But it's not a perfect solution. The other person may accept that fact in the moment, but they will surely still be hurt when the time comes.

However, I would argue that any human connection, whether you will die in 10 years or 100 years will necessarily cause pain to the other person. We hurt one another just by existing within one another's lives. And if it is the matter of death, someone will certainly always reach the end of their life first - people will fall ill randomly, die in accidents, or simply reach the end of their lifespan first.

So is it wrong to form any human connection?

I'm not sure what the answer is. Maybe it is wrong. But I can tell you that we nonetheless do form connections, even knowing we will cause one another hurt, desperately believing that it will be worth it in the end, that it really is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.


I suppose if you do want a clean solution though, you could make friends only among people who will die on the same timescale. With as many people as there are today, you can certainly find someone with a similar condition, or perhaps if you're truly committed, someone to form a mutual ctb pact with, even.

I'm always open to conversation, so please feel free to message me directly if you want to.