Discussion Is it wrong to not care about how ctbing will effect your friends and family?

[Roneo Kuhn]

I see it come up often in discussions of whether or not to leave a note, but I personally can't understand this. I'm not sure I care about the effect ctbing will have on my parents, siblings, friends.

I suppose this has more to do with my philosophy on death which is essentially just that it means the end of experience and the cessation of brain activity, nothing more.

In my mind, I just need to put out any thoughts about what will happen after as I will not be around in any capacity to regret my actions or mourn the consequences.

My circumstances also might impact my feelings on this matter since I am an introvert, have never been open about my mental problems nor sought help, and haven't had an unsuccessful attempt discovered. All of those things would probably make ctbing not only harder but highlight the effects my actions/mental state has on others, complicating the decision.

Anyways, I hope this made sense, I tried to explain my thoughts as best as I can. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who thinks like this, like I'm some sociopath or something.

 

[Amumu]

A lot of people care, but when you get older , when you've lost the generation of your grandparents, when your parents have grandchildren and when your siblings are relatively old, I think it's normal to care less and less about the impact it'll have on them.

 

[Roneo Kuhn]

A lot of people care, but when you get older , when you've lost the generation of your grandparents, when your parents have grandchildren and when your siblings are relatively old, I think it's normal to care less and less about the impact it'll have on them.

I guess that's the thing. I'm only 18, still living at home with my parents and sister. Just feels like I haven't seen this kind of sentiment expressed elsewhere in this age group but I suppose I haven't looked very hard.

 

[Makko]

It's not wrong, it's a matter of integrity. People are not entitled to your company and you are under no obligation to stay around for the sake of their comfort. Think of it as a no-fault divorce. Claiming that such a divorce is unethical is, shall we say, a little backwards.

However, this is the issue that really gets non-suicidal people's pantaloons in a twist, because they do feel entitled to your life and you're not convincing them otherwise. Having kept your ideation and attempt secret was the right decision. Not making the end of your life a big drama makes things much easier for you.

 

[BlackCatTalk]

I don't think so, at the end it's your choice, and then you only can act like a human... And the human behavior is thinking in ourselves first at all

 

[quiet.rabbit]

I feel the same. It's shameful but it's just how we feel. Although this actually extends to not caring about others in general for me. I don't know why I just don't feel much but discomfort seeing people's feelings.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I think if you care at all about whether it might be wrong then maybe you still might actually care about them a little, or maybe at least you just care about how other people would view your noncaring.

I also don't care anymore about what my CTB will do to my friends and family. By extension, I also don't care about whether or not that's right or wrong because even if it does end up being wrong so what? All my life I've already made the wrong choices, what's one more?

 

[ClownMe]

I don't think so, at the end it's your choice, and then you only can act like a human... And the human behavior is thinking in ourselves first at all

was gonna say almost exactly the same thing. it gets to a point where you just have to look out for yourself in this life.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Imo, no.

 

[Thisgirlwantstosleep]

I have a love/hate relationship with my family.

Their affection is often turbulent which leaves our relationship both symbiotic and parasitic.

There have been decisions and actions made that actively put me in my position.

Of course when you bring these things up you get dismissed and gaslighted.

So in a way, I'm not bothered. You give what get in this world.

They failed me and I killed myself. Whether they take responsibility or use it to change their actions is neither my business nor concern.

I can't live for the sake of people who's care for me is conditional as there will be a day when they finally leave me all alone and I'll be left wishing I had just done it.

 

[BottomlessPit]

It's not wrong, it's a matter of integrity. People are not entitled to your company and you are under no obligation to stay around for the sake of their comfort. Think of it as a no-fault divorce. Claiming that such a divorce is unethical is, shall we say, a little backwards.

You nailed it perfectly.

 

[Beachedwhale]

I don't think so, since the moment I'm dead they stop existing.

 

[Efilismislife]

That depends on you relationship with other people too. For people who still have people who are dear to them, being loved/close to family, friends, etc they tend to care and left them things as a remainder.

for people who dont, they dont have to care

 

[boc]

Your life, your choice. A lot of people harp on the damage suicide will do to the people around you. But those people around you are often completely absent or even worse, negative influences when you are alive. Those aren't the people you should be living for.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is an individual thing really. I get your reasons, it isn't our problem essentially as we simply wont be here to experience how our death effects others. I would never let others hold me back personally, yes I know they would be sad but I wouldn't suffer for the sake of other people. I tell myself I didn't ask to exist in the first place so I have no obligations to stay alive.

 

[Roneo Kuhn]

It is an individual thing really. I get your reasons, it isn't our problem essentially as we simply wont be here to experience how our death effects others. I would never let others hold me back personally, yes I know they would be sad but I wouldn't suffer for the sake of other people. I tell myself I didn't ask to exist in the first place so I have no obligations to stay alive.

Yeah there definitely is an antinatalist or consent to being alive element to this topic for sure. I think it is just a reality that people will suffer as a result of ctbing but aside from that is there some obligation to mitigate that via, for example, writing a note or something?

Your life, your choice. A lot of people harp on the damage suicide will do to the people around you. But those people around you are often completely absent or even worse, negative influences when you are alive. Those aren't the people you should be living for.

I agree with that if that is the circumstance, thought with me, other than my father, I'd say most of the people around me are, while not perfect, are not absent or negative influences.

I have a love/hate relationship with my family.

Their affection is often turbulent which leaves our relationship both symbiotic and parasitic.

There have been decisions and actions made that actively put me in my position.

Of course when you bring these things up you get dismissed and gaslighted.

So in a way, I'm not bothered. You give what get in this world.

They failed me and I killed myself. Whether they take responsibility or use it to change their actions is neither my business nor concern.

I can't live for the sake of people who's care for me is conditional as there will be a day when they finally leave me all alone and I'll be left wishing I had just done it.

Yes, of course, the status of one's various relationships changes the moral weight of this question. In my case I have largely positive relationships and if anything I feel I am the negative. Though it's always hard to tell since I am so closed off and only have my internal meter for such things.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Unfortunately I can't care anymore. I have no financial future, no future with a husband for romantic prospects due to sexual traumas I endured and emotional abuse due to acne skin disease during my youth. My subconscious mind is so traumatized I look for the worse in everything. I'm also hitting a wall biologically I'm 28, and soon it would be too risky to have children. So yeah that's that