Discussion Is it wrong to ctb without writing a note?

[Bosty]

As the day grows nearer, I've been pondering about what I should leave behind. I've tried writing many notes but they seem so pathetic when I read them back to myself, they tend to turn into random, messy, rants. It's also hard to write one single note, as I could never fit all my reasoning into it, and my mood is drastically different from note to note. The thought of writing a note that would leave readers satisfied is stressing me out, so the last week or so I've decided to leave them nothing to find. I've written my thoughts in an online diary, which any detective could find if they had the motivation, and I figure that if my family really cares enough, they could find it. If I leave a note, I'm planning on it being extremely short, maybe just a simple "Sorry." I feel like even with a well written and thoughtful note, most people would be too angry at me to care for what they were reading. Any thoughts on the matter?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Leave them the web address of the online diary? Seems like that would solve all dilemmas.

 

[wonderworld]

I'm not planning to leave a note. I feel like if people leave a note. They don't really wanna die. Which is fucked up thing to believe but for someone reason my brain tells me this also no matter what I write my parents will still find a way to blame themselves.

 

[WornOutLife]

I don't think it's neither right nor wrong.
In my case, what I'm planning to do, is leave some monthly scheduled videos on a random youtube channel explaining how I felt, what I want them to do with my stuff, why I don't want my family to be sad about my death and so on.

However, even if I didn't leave any message behind, they'd realize that I CTB because this world simply sucks so, don't feel bad bro and do whatever u want.

 

[Sensei]

If you really feel that you must die, I think that you should leave something behind. If someone close to me would commit suicide, I think I'd want to know why. A couple of lines would be enough.

(I'm a bit of a hypocrite here, because I won't write one myself. The reasons is that I will try to make it look like an accidental death.)

 

[Worndown]

No. Your choice.

 

[Ndaneta]

I'm not leaving a note. I don't think it is a necessary to leave a note when you don't feel like it. I'll just transfer all my money to my sibling's back account and a Will will sort out the rest

 

[Smellanie]

I'm not leaving a note either. Same as you every time I try it just sounds pathetic or whiny. Also I doubt anyone will really care either way. Like ya a few people will be sad but a note will never being closure anyway so why bother.

 

[I screwed up]

A simple " Sorry and goodbye" is all I will write ....

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

I'm not leaving a note. I don't think it is a necessary to leave a note when you don't feel like it. I'll just transfer all my money to my sibling's back account and a Will will sort out the rest

That's what I've been thinking. I don't want to leave a note either, no point really. I don't have anything to say to people in life, so why should I have parting words. I do think the bank account is a good idea though, assuming my daughter is still around when I ctb so I can leave her $$ and my car and stuff to sell.

 

[Smellanie]

That's what I've been thinking. I don't want to leave a note either, no point really. I don't have anything to say to people in life, so why should I have parting words. I do think the bank account is a good idea though, assuming my daughter is still around when I ctb so I can leave her $$ and my car and stuff to sell.

Ya a will is fine. A note meh...

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

No, it's not wrong. It is a selfish thought of the bereaved that they are expecting a note

leaving a note is only necessary if you want to tell something else that is important to you.

Be it an apology, an explanation why or who should take care of the dog.

If you believe that the bereaved should definitely know something about you.

If you are good at writing long texts, write extensively. If not, be brief. The text should suit you as you are.

I will not leave anything because nobody has been interested in me so far. So a question mark should remain.

 

[Raminiki]

I don't think I'll leave a note. I'm debating on trying to vanish along with leaving no record.

Consider what may happen if you survive. What is written cannot be taken back, and if something goes wrong and the note is received prematurely, it could sabotage you. Just things to consider.

If you're struggling to word things, because there's just so much that cannot be concisely articulated in a simple letter, maybe it's all best left unsaid. Something simple that can't be misinterpreted is enough. Only try to do more if you really feel you must. Your time should be focused on you and what you need to help yourself with your decision.

Wishing you all the best.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

So... potentially unpopular opinion...

I think you should definitely leave a note. The issue we think about is typically leaving a message behind for our loved ones. Yes, that is one very important aspect of it. Also worth considering, though, is that if you don't leave a note, there will need to be other irrefutable evidence of your suicide. Otherwise, your loved ones may be persons of interest in a suspicious death. Maybe they poisoned you with SN, or put the bag over your head, or strangled you. A signed note helps to avoid any possible suspicion. I wouldn't want the police looking into my husband for murder. Even if they ultimately decide that it's definitely suicide, the stress of my passing would be challenging enough without police interviews and the air of suspicion.

 

[Raminiki]

Agreed. I wrote a little factsheet stating what I'd done, and that it was expressly my own decision and nobody else was involved. No personal thoughts. Just a request not to resuscitate and to consider the note my advance decision against measures to preserve my life.

I may still print a proper advance decision to add to my medical records. Better prepared for any eventuality. I've not done so yet as it seems to need to be cosigned.

Somewhat torn between the peace and privacy of disappearing and the responsibility to others to have closure and not expend resources in searching.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

I know what you mean. When I've tried writing a long note I end up sounding whiny and far from what I'm actually trying to get across. Plus I get obsessive about what I write.

But I still think family would appreciate a note, if only a short one, e.g.: I was hurting too much, for too long. I tried working through all my issues, I really did. But think of me at peace now. And please don't stop doing the things you enjoy over this. I love you all.

Or something.

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

So... potentially unpopular opinion...

I think you should definitely leave a note. The issue we think about is typically leaving a message behind for our loved ones. Yes, that is one very important aspect of it. Also worth considering, though, is that if you don't leave a note, there will need to be other irrefutable evidence of your suicide. Otherwise, your loved ones may be persons of interest in a suspicious death. Maybe they poisoned you with SN, or put the bag over your head, or strangled you. A signed note helps to avoid any possible suspicion. I wouldn't want the police looking into my husband for murder. Even if they ultimately decide that it's definitely suicide, the stress of my passing would be challenging enough without police interviews and the air of suspicion.

This is by no means an unpopular opinion. On the contrary, it is a well-thought-out thought that I have never considered myself

Thanks for the hint, even if I still won't write anything

 

[TAW122]

It is ultimately up to the person him/herself as it is a personal choice. For some people, they would rather just go without a note while others feel at least some duty to notify and give closure to the surviving parties including their own family and loved ones. Me personally, I do plan to write brief notes and goodbyes, mostly for their closure (even though I am not required to) and to help them move on. What the recipients do or react is on them as I would not be around after (successfully) CTB'ing. When I do write my note, I would not list all the reasons as it would be too long, may be misinterpreted (whether minimized, trivialized, misunderstood for something else, etc.) and while it doesn't matter to me (again - as I would be dead), it's better for them to not be overwhelmed or complicate matters more than it should.

 

[Ardesevent]

Writing a note is up to you, but it's something you really should do if you care about someone.
When my mom committed, she didn't leave a note, she just sent an email wishing me I had a nice day right before. Convinced 11 year old me that she thought I hated her, and caused me to feel guilty for years.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

It's said that only 40% leave a note so...

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I actually wrote notes for 12 different people specifically, but also one general note for "everyone." It's 12 pages long.

 

[ilovenightmares]

An essay couldn't justify it, nevermind a note...

The only note I'll leave is "Don't blame yourself".

 

[Nymph]

I won't be writing a note

 

[Midnight-rain]

No, you don't owe your family any explanation via a note. I'm definitely writing several notes because I want to give people closure and want to make it abundantly clear that they shouldn't blame themselves but that's just me.

 

[Playlainin]

I think it's a good idea if you know you'll be leaving someone behind who will be greatly effected by it and want a reason or closure. Closure is important to poeple and their ability to deal with things.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I don't think you have any obligation to leave information behind tbh

 

[Linda]

As the day grows nearer, I've been pondering about what I should leave behind. I've tried writing many notes but they seem so pathetic when I read them back to myself, they tend to turn into random, messy, rants. It's also hard to write one single note, as I could never fit all my reasoning into it, and my mood is drastically different from note to note. The thought of writing a note that would leave readers satisfied is stressing me out, so the last week or so I've decided to leave them nothing to find. I've written my thoughts in an online diary, which any detective could find if they had the motivation, and I figure that if my family really cares enough, they could find it. If I leave a note, I'm planning on it being extremely short, maybe just a simple "Sorry." I feel like even with a well written and thoughtful note, most people would be too angry at me to care for what they were reading. Any thoughts on the matter?

If there are people close to you, you should definitely leave them a note. Otherwise they will be forever wondering whether they failed you. Personally I don't think you should apologise. (If you feel that an apology is required, then you shouldn't be doing it.) Just explain, briefly but clearly, why you have chosen to leave, state that it is entirely your responsibility, you know what you are doing, and that they are in no way to blame. Then wish them well.

But I am concerned when you say that "my mood is drastically different from note to note". It suggests that you don't have a really clear reason for going. If that is the case, perhaps you shouldn't be going at all, at least not just yet. Perhaps you should press the "pause" button on this.

 

[CarbonMonoxide]

I don't think it's neither right nor wrong.
In my case, what I'm planning to do, is leave some monthly scheduled videos on a random youtube channel explaining how I felt, what I want them to do with my stuff, why I don't want my family to be sad about my death and so on.

However, even if I didn't leave any message behind, they'd realize that I CTB because this world simply sucks so, don't feel bad bro and do whatever u want.

This is a fantastic idea. If I wasn't hell bent on committing suicide in secret, (pun intended) I'd use a random channel. Far more personal because they get to see me speak as opposed to some words on paper. Technology rocks.

 

[restingspot]

I don't think I could get out all of what I think on paper. And with some things, I'd honestly prefer to take them with me. My mom would feel shame and disappointment regardless so there's no point.

 

[Bauhaus]

The only reason (imho) to write a note is to thank your beloved ones for everything they have done for you.
No matter what you write to explain why you did it, they will never really comprehend what you've gone through.
But I do feel it's my obligation to thank them for everything.