Is it worth it to live for others?

[Harleyyy]

I want to ctb but whenever it is time to actually do it, i feel so guilty for giving my family this pain that it forces me to step down. I feel so depressed and i think about it all the time but all these guilty thoughts drown me
"suicide doesnt end pain, it just passes it on to somone else", i dont want anyone to feel my pain. please.
i dont know what to do.
what if my action triggers suicidal thoughts? i dont want them to live in misery.
it is such a dilemma.

 

[_Minsk]

you are NOT responsible for their happiness.. did you ask for being born? having children always includes the risk of them leaving this place. trying to please others out of a place of guilt seem like a bad idea to me, i wouldn't do it. i don't think this will result in something positive, if you do it out of a place of gratitude, maybe you appreciate any of their efforts, then i would go for it. feeling guilty for whatever reason always indicates that you believe something is wrong with you or your decisions.. our culture is brainwashing us into believing hilarious crap which only hurts us.. if you have children it would be another story maybe..

 

[TowerUpright]

I think it depends on the reason others need you. If it is a temporary or finite reason that will go away (in my case, wanting my kids to be more mature and stable), I think it's ok to hang around a while, provided you aren't suffering horribly.

If it is a more permanent reason, like a spouse who has a borderline personality disorder that says they'll go crazy if you leave them.. then no. You shouldn't feel guilty at all for leaving this place early..

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I personally don't want to suffer for 30-50 more years because others would be sad if I died. But the guilt gets to me, too... :/

 

[prochoicefriend]

I wonder if this is why some sickos take their children with them. To me, it's one thing to take your own life, it's a whole other thing to end someone else's. If I am a parent, I can't bear the thought of leaving my kids behind like that. I will do my best to wait for them to grow up.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

For me, I absolutely have to live for my husband, otherwise I run the risk of doing extremely stupid shit like I used to do in the past.

 

[Amnesty]

It depends too

If people genuinely do care for you and other people depend on you then yes

I do not know about the no part though.

 

[Mr2005]

I want to ctb but whenever it is time to actually do it, i feel so guilty for giving my family this pain that it forces me to step down. I feel so depressed and i think about it all the time but all these guilty thoughts drown me
"suicide doesnt end pain, it just passes it on to somone else", i dont want anyone to feel my pain. please.
i dont know what to do.
what if my action triggers suicidal thoughts? i dont want them to live in misery.
it is such a dilemma.

It takes a level of acceptance. A change of mindset about what you're here for and what you want out of life. It's fucking hard.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

I guess it would deppend. I used to be suicidal but i lived for my husband as he was helping me through it, also i loved him.

After he died i see no reason to live for anyone else. Nor do i have many more left either.

Its different for everyones situation.
Good luck

 

[Saddaisy]

I don't think it's worth it. If someone truly loves me they will see the pain I was in.They will be sad; but in time that will lessen and they will be happy that I'm no longer suffering.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I don't think it's worth it. If someone truly loves me they will see the pain I was in.They will be sad; but in time that will lessen and they will be happy that I'm no longer suffering.

Agreed. I would hope that if someone close to me killed themselves, I would feel the same way. But, as a member of this site, it goes without saying that I'm pro-choice. So... I guess I'm more apt to take this point of view than them.

 

[Saddaisy]

Agreed. I would hope that if someone close to me killed themselves, I would feel the same way. But, as a member of this site, it goes without saying that I'm pro-choice. So... I guess I'm more apt to take this point of view than them.

I'm pretty sure only 1-2 of my friends will understand. I think it's selfish to want someone to stay just to suffer, but people are selfish.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm pretty sure only 1-2 of my friends will understand. I think it's selfish to want someone to stay just to suffer, but people are selfish.

I'm very blessed and my closest friends are understanding. They obviously don't want me to do it, but meh... At least they're willing to let me die in peace. Or so it seems.

I agree with you. It's selfish to watch someone suffer instead of letting them go. What if the person was dying of a terminal (physical) illness versus a (terminal) mental illness? They would rush to give the person a proper and dignified death. But as soon as you throw the individual's perception into things... idk. It frustrates me. There are certainly the stereotypical rushed/impulsive/irrational suicides, but not every suicide is like that. I hope this fluff makes sense.

 

[Bct]

Depends on your relationship with people you deem as important. Out of all of my main family, I only love my father. He already has some health issues and my unexpected death could lead his condition to be worse and it's sad to think the consequences. But I still don't consider this as something that holds me back from CTB. I know some people will be sad, but most likely they'll get over it.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I've come to terms with it like this. I've had loved ones die, and I felt sad. But I learned to forget it and before long it didn't affect me.

It makes sense to me that if a person has a thick enough skin, and after the grieving process, they will come to terms with a loss.

 

[Mr2005]

When your hope rests in others your whole world changes. What hurts the most isn't the truth about you it's the truth about them. Your happiness is dependent on them and you've no control over it

 

[Deleted member 18655]

A few weeks ago I promised someone that I wouldn't. And I meant it when I said I wouldn't. I don't want to cause anyone pain. BUT! It's torture to simply exist and I don't understand how my not being here would hurt anyone. I see it more of a freeing for the people around me. I keep trying to dig myself out of yet another pit but sooner or later there won't be anywhere else to dig and I will have to hurt them. Whose pain is more - mine to live or theirs at the thought of me dying? I'm really not sure.