Is it worth it to check yourself into a psych ward?

[dragontale14]

I feel like at this very moment, I'm finished. I'm so desperate to kill myself, I am at this very moment 5 seconds away from breaking a glass jar and using the glass to slit my wrists... down the street, not across the road. And I mean that.

My psychiatrist told me about the best mental hospital in this city, but I've read their reviews and they are not very good. I honestly don't see any reason to continue living, I am so miserable it's insane. I look in the mirror and realize why nobody cares about me anymore, why people have sex with me once and then dissappear, why my last ex beat me up before he kicked me out: I'm fucking ugly. I'm fucking ugly, there's nothing special about me. I used to be anorexic skinny, now I'm like bulimic or something so I can't lose weight. I hate it. I hate my body. I hate my face.

What the fuck could they do for me at the psych ward? Could they make me a different person? Could they change my brain? My psych thinks I'm borderline on top of being bipolar: if 1/10 BPD people ctb, and a percentage of BP people also ctb, what chance do I stand?

I do not want to keep waiting for things to get worse and worse, I have no hope at all. No dreams or ambitions. I had a good run. I'm gonna try partial again, off a door knob. Anybody ever seen that simulation of Robin William's suicide? Yeah, funny right.

 

[ipmanwc0]

psych wards don't really do anything for you. no one here that's been to one will recommend it

 

[dragontale14]

psych wards don't really do anything for you. no one here that's been to one will recommend it

Yeah, that's kind of what I figured. I guess I didn't want to admit to myself that people just want me out of their hair...

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It ruined my life.

Bear in mind that even if you admit yourself voluntarily that doesn't mean you get to decide when to leave.

They're only good if you really want to be prevented from making an attempt (temporarily).

Of course plenty of people still manage to CTB in there.

You'll probably still be left with the same feelings, if not worse.

Do you want to share a little more about what's going on?

psych thinks I'm borderline on top of being bipolar: if 1/10 BPD people ctb, and a percentage of BP people also ctb, what chance do I stand?

Suicide isn't like a heart attack or a stroke. It's still a deliberate choice that you never have to make if you don't really want to.

 

[LonelyKitten]

What the fuck could they do for me at the psych ward? Could they make me a different person? Could they change my brain? My psych thinks I'm borderline on top of being bipolar: if 1/10 BPD people ctb, and a percentage of BP people also ctb, what chance do I stand?

Unfortunately, they can not do this.
Psych wards can not solve core or root issues, I learned this the hard way myself.

If you have something/someone to live for, the horror of being in one might get you crawling back to try really hard again for that sake.

But since the core issues will persist despite the visit, depending on what they do to you (be it something damaging, or just a waste of time), it could leave you worse off than before.
For example, my life was ruined by one because it ended up dropping me out of school. (through a combination of being an experience that was scarring for life as well as wasting 3 months of my time without listening or acting on my direct pleas for very specific assistance/help)

Depending on where you live, it could also brand you in the medical/legal system.

 

[rainseahorse]

if you aren't living life the way you think you should be living and that's part of why you feel suicidal, i don't see how a psych ward is going to help with your issues. if your issues are something permanent and unchangeable, then maybe.

 

[Cloud Busting]

The only benefit I really gained from being in a psych ward is it gave me a pause button to think and reflect. I had no major duties and responsibilities to bog me down so I had the time to mull things over. That free time made me realize ctb was likely not the right choice for me.

Otherwise I wouldn't recommend it. If you have a friend to stay with go that route. It's a very dehumanizing experience. It's also on your permanent record, which really sucks.

 

[inconsequential_]

The only thing psych wards are good for is bringing you down from mania/acute psychosis, and even then they usually toss you out before you're all the way down.

When it comes to depression, suicidal thoughts, etc? They're useless.

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Yeah, that's kind of what I figured. I guess I didn't want to admit to myself that people just want me out of their hair...

Ive been to one 3 times and had good experiences. It was nice to just be away from a lot of my stressors but also got very boring after the first few days. It definitely helped me for a while after my first stay but cant say it really helped much the second and third time. I know this isnt everyone's experience but all of the staff were extremely kind to me. I think its worth giving it a try. It might help you and you dont have anything to lose if youre already as suicidal as you are

psych wards don't really do anything for you. no one here that's been to one will recommend it

Id recommend it

 

[dragontale14]

It ruined my life.

Bear in mind that even if you admit yourself voluntarily that doesn't mean you get to decide when to leave.

They're only good if you really want to be prevented from making an attempt (temporarily).

Of course plenty of people still manage to CTB in there.

You'll probably still be left with the same feelings, if not worse.

Do you want to share a little more about what's going on?


Suicide isn't like a heart attack or a stroke. It's still a deliberate choice that you never have to make if you don't really want to.

I mean, as far as what's going on: I live in total isolation. Sometimes I go days without talking to another person. All of my relationships are extremely unstable to the point where I've torpedoed most of them completely just to avoid the pain of them leaving me first. I've been abused sexually, physically, emotionally, verbally: if you can name a type of abuse, I've probably experienced it. I find even simple things impossible, if only because either I can't work up the energy to do them or the fear of trying and failing literally terrifies me to the point of never trying. My relationship with my family is distant and cold at best, I don't feel loved by anyone. I'm in grad school and at this point it feels like I can't get out... nobody is supportive of me dropping out or even taking a year off, and I just want to get it over with as quickly as possible as well so that I can get out of this "city." I also just experienced the most devastating breakup of my entire life and it ended entirely in flames... the last thing I said to him is that I hate him and I hope he dies before I do (the implication being that I'm going to die in not a very long time). So, if there was ever any hope for reconciliation one day, that shits out the window... God what else... I think that about covers it ..
Sadly, I don't have any friends, so I guess that's not an option for me...

That's exactly what I was afraid of, getting labeled, getting shit put on my permanent record. I was beginning to doubt if that was actually a real thing, so thanks ig for reminding me that it IS real and I DON'T want one...

The only benefit I really gained from being in a psych ward is it gave me a pause button to think and reflect. I had no major duties and responsibilities to bog me down so I had the time to mull things over. That free time made me realize ctb was likely not the right choice for me.

Otherwise I wouldn't recommend it. If you have a friend to stay with go that route. It's a very dehumanizing experience. It's also on your permanent record, which really sucks.

 

[nightlygem]

I have been considering admitting myself as a Hail Mary. In my attempts to CTB, my brain kind of turns itself off and I lose all sensibility or rationale. I am hoping that even if I feel that way, being in an environment that prevents me from doing that will help. This is my last chance to get help before I continue my plans to CTB.
I assume this is also a last resort for you. And, although the replies about negative experiences at psych wards are deterring, ultimately it may be a different experience if it is voluntary.
Please don't go into it thinking it'll cure you, however. Especially in America, they only care about getting paid at the end of the day so they're only there to do their job.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I mean, as far as what's going on: I live in total isolation. Sometimes I go days without talking to another person. All of my relationships are extremely unstable to the point where I've torpedoed most of them completely just to avoid the pain of them leaving me first. I've been abused sexually, physically, emotionally, verbally: if you can name a type of abuse, I've probably experienced it. I find even simple things impossible, if only because either I can't work up the energy to do them or the fear of trying and failing literally terrifies me to the point of never trying. My relationship with my family is distant and cold at best, I don't feel loved by anyone. I'm in grad school and at this point it feels like I can't get out... nobody is supportive of me dropping out or even taking a year off, and I just want to get it over with as quickly as possible as well so that I can get out of this "city." I also just experienced the most devastating breakup of my entire life and it ended entirely in flames... the last thing I said to him is that I hate him and I hope he dies before I do (the implication being that I'm going to die in not a very long time). So, if there was ever any hope for reconciliation one day, that shits out the window... God what else... I think that about covers it ..
Sadly, I don't have any friends, so I guess that's not an option for me...

That's exactly what I was afraid of, getting labeled, getting shit put on my permanent record. I was beginning to doubt if that was actually a real thing, so thanks ig for reminding me that it IS real and I DON'T want one...

How likely do estimate it that you will make a suicide attempt in the near future?

Because they're only good for temporarily keeping you from trying to kill yourself.

The risk of additional trauma is too great otherwise.

If you'd like to chat more in-depth about what's going on you are welcome to message me and maybe we can reach some conclusions about what to do.

I guess if I were to advise you one thing it would be to really try to see grad school through, as hard as it is. Take it from me; you don't want to sabotage your life.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I feel like at this very moment, I'm finished. I'm so desperate to kill myself, I am at this very moment 5 seconds away from breaking a glass jar and using the glass to slit my wrists... down the street, not across the road. And I mean that.

My psychiatrist told me about the best mental hospital in this city, but I've read their reviews and they are not very good. I honestly don't see any reason to continue living, I am so miserable it's insane. I look in the mirror and realize why nobody cares about me anymore, why people have sex with me once and then dissappear, why my last ex beat me up before he kicked me out: I'm fucking ugly. I'm fucking ugly, there's nothing special about me. I used to be anorexic skinny, now I'm like bulimic or something so I can't lose weight. I hate it. I hate my body. I hate my face.

What the fuck could they do for me at the psych ward? Could they make me a different person? Could they change my brain? My psych thinks I'm borderline on top of being bipolar: if 1/10 BPD people ctb, and a percentage of BP people also ctb, what chance do I stand?

I do not want to keep waiting for things to get worse and worse, I have no hope at all. No dreams or ambitions. I had a good run. I'm gonna try partial again, off a door knob. Anybody ever seen that simulation of Robin William's suicide? Yeah, funny right.

Fuck no. They won't give a shit about you. Least in my country they are lazy as fuck. The nurses sat on their asses the entire time talking amongst themselves if you needed something like I don't know to shower or for water my God you would think you asked for the world. And the attitude holy shit.... Doctor's just were just MIA. The most caring people were the M.A.s/CNAs and the janitor. The janitor who barely spoke English talked to me more then the doctor. They'll just treat you like a criminal. I was literally told during my month long stay their job wasn't to make people better.... I came out worse then when I came in. Find someone who actually cares. The psych wards and the psych ward staff don't. So no unless you want to be treated like shit by a bunch of people who don't care about you, and are just there to collect a check I'd say no. If psych wards worked you wouldn't see psychiatrists committing suicide themselves at some of the highest rates in medicine.

Whether you are suicidal or not a psych ward won't help you just waste your time. If it worked psychiatrists would be on it and they wouldn't be killing themselves. The fact they are shows how good at treating it they are. You are better off handling it yourself even you are actively suicidal. Most people who go there just want to find someone who cares and they can't even do that. They can't and if they could wouldn't help you.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

This would be your own decision in any case. I suggest you ask yourself some questions and answer them for yourself.

- Whats the actual problem triggering my MH issues?
- Can this problem be solved / cured with meds and/or therapy? Perhaps as inpatient in a psych ward?
- What do I expect as a result and do I have hope that they can help me?

Imo most MH issues can't be cured with meds/therapy/psych ward as the problems triggering them are far to complex and MH is by far not understood by modern medicine. It's up 2 you whether you want to give it a chance or not.

I wish you all the best what ever you decide to do.

 

[wait.what]

A psyche ward stay can improve your chances of surviving from today to tomorrow, but not necessarily your chances of surviving from today to six months from now, if you understand what I mean. People who have had very bad experiences in psyche wards are actually more likely to attempt suicide in the months afterward.

Forgive me if my assumptions are crap, but it sounds like you're really trying to clear a space around you right now, empty of all people. That's understandable, given that you seem to have come to associate relationships with pain. I'm going to suggest you kick the can down the road right now in terms of psyche hospitalization. For one thing, if you're feeling safer alone, then locking you up with a bunch of troubled (and sometimes troublesome) souls is probably not going to be helpful. Psyche hospitalization may be more helpful to you as an idea. One last option before you have nothing left, and are ready to ctb.

This is my back-of-a-napkin suggestion for how you might make it through this crisis period. If possible, develop a nurturing relationship with an animal. You don't necessarily need to have a pet. The short-term goal is to practice giving care to a non-threatening creature in ways that you might not have experienced much of personally. The longer-term goal is to build caregiving skills you could use toward yourself, if you chose.

I'd also recommend keeping up regular, but limited and non-threatening, contact with people. Messageboards might be useful for this, depending on how important nonverbal communication is for you. The goal is to develop positive acquaintances, or friends you only talk to about interesting but superficial stuff. Try to resist the urge to go for those deep, quick trauma bonds that soon become terrifying, and which you then feel a need to detonate. Think of it as practicing safe conversations for small talk. Everyone hates small talk, by the way, even those who are good at it. It can be useful for putting other people at ease, however, which allows you to be more at ease. And then you don't have to talk about how everyone in the elevator was molested at summer camp when they were seven.

That's all I've got … other than the advice to keep up as much ordinary life routine as possible. Shower. Clean stuff. Animal friends. Classwork & job, if you have one. Internet acquaintances with similar interests. Not necessarily in that order. It sounds kind of boring and stupid, but if your baseline is 31 flavors of emotional devastation, boring and stupid is a step forward. At the very least, it's meant to be maintainable, and not something that will force you closer to suicide. (I am pro-choice and this is a pro-choice board—the operative word being "choice." Having terror, pain, and rage drive you over a cliff isn't really a situation where you get to do much choosing.)

 

[MaybeYesMaybeNo]

A psyche ward stay can improve your chances of surviving from today to tomorrow, but not necessarily your chances of surviving from today to six months from now, if you understand what I mean. People who have had very bad experiences in psyche wards are actually more likely to attempt suicide in the months afterward.

Forgive me if my assumptions are crap, but it sounds like you're really trying to clear a space around you right now, empty of all people. That's understandable, given that you seem to have come to associate relationships with pain. I'm going to suggest you kick the can down the road right now in terms of psyche hospitalization. For one thing, if you're feeling safer alone, then locking you up with a bunch of troubled (and sometimes troublesome) souls is probably not going to be helpful. Psyche hospitalization may be more helpful to you as an idea. One last option before you have nothing left, and are ready to ctb.

This is my back-of-a-napkin suggestion for how you might make it through this crisis period. If possible, develop a nurturing relationship with an animal. You don't necessarily need to have a pet. The short-term goal is to practice giving care to a non-threatening creature in ways that you might not have experienced much of personally. The longer-term goal is to build caregiving skills you could use toward yourself, if you chose.

I'd also recommend keeping up regular, but limited and non-threatening, contact with people. Messageboards might be useful for this, depending on how important nonverbal communication is for you. The goal is to develop positive acquaintances, or friends you only talk to about interesting but superficial stuff. Try to resist the urge to go for those deep, quick trauma bonds that soon become terrifying, and which you then feel a need to detonate. Think of it as practicing safe conversations for small talk. Everyone hates small talk, by the way, even those who are good at it. It can be useful for putting other people at ease, however, which allows you to be more at ease. And then you don't have to talk about how everyone in the elevator was molested at summer camp when they were seven.

That's all I've got … other than the advice to keep up as much ordinary life routine as possible. Shower. Clean stuff. Animal friends. Classwork & job, if you have one. Internet acquaintances with similar interests. Not necessarily in that order. It sounds kind of boring and stupid, but if your baseline is 31 flavors of emotional devastation, boring and stupid is a step forward. At the very least, it's meant to be maintainable, and not something that will force you closer to suicide. (I am pro-choice and this is a pro-choice board—the operative word being "choice." Having terror, pain, and rage drive you over a cliff isn't really a situation where you get to do much choosing.)

heh; you might have explained for me why I always blow the friend bridges. I feel like they know too much usually.

 

[protector_iorek]

I've been twice.

You can go "voluntarily" (not in handcuffs) or "involuntarily" (in handcuffs). I'm slightly exaggerating but not really.

Voluntarily will not give you any additional autonomy over the situation.

Your experience will likely be a trauma or retraumatization. Your dignity and autonomy will be stripped from you. It depends on where you live and what sort of hospital but you will have you belongings taken from you, you will not be allowed contact with the outside world except with permission using an internal phone, you will be limited in seeing friends or family (restricted to visiting hours), and you will be bored out of your mind.

You may also suffer from further abuse, degradation or assault from staff members or other patients. You'll likely be mixed sex so if you have trauma about being housed with the opposite sex in any way this can be very difficult and scary. Staff may ignore you or be outright hostile.

There will be nothing to do all day everyday, or you will be subject to forced therapy sessions in groups. Which are also boring but worse because you are forced to listen to people you probably don't care for.

Your ability to leave will depend on how well you fake it (be sure to shower and make your bed to look like you're functioning). It will come down to 1 psychiatrist or psychologist who sees every patient on the ward once per week or so and makes a decision entirely based on that. You will likely be forced into taking medication; I say forced because if you refuse you will be viewed as noncompliant.

The second time I was inpatient, I was stuck in an old hospital with literally nothing to do all day. There was 1 tv with old DVDs around. There was an "art room" that was never open (because they're afraid you'll stab yourself with a colored pencil). I was 22, there was a 19 year old in my room with me and I spent my time listening and trying to care for her. We were surrounded by much older people who were detoxing from drugs.

That's another thing: many psych wards also house detoxing individuals who are sometimes violent and unpredictable. It's not their fault but unfortunately it's a danger to others and creates a conflicting environment where you are trying to find some sort of peace, but you are surrounded with strangers who can do any manner of things to you.

 

[KillMeh]

My ward and outpatient experience was neutral. I hear people talk bad things, I went in voluntarily and staff was chill, I figure that my problems were not solvable, but they, for the most part, were actually pretty pleasant. Rarely did I see someone successfully recover, there were a lot of people coming and going like it's a vacation. In my opinion, if you feel like it could help you, go for it, because you won't know unless you try. I'm glad I can say I tried, now there's no fight left in me so I'm packing for afterlife.

The ward I was in had many activities, usually people don't like all of them, but if one group hits the spot for you, that's something. I take a long time to open up, people go before I get guts. I would isolate myself even in a ward.
If you go I highly recommend bringing earplugs for snores.
Maybe there's an outpatient program that you could look into? I used to go every day for 5 hours, not much different than a ward.
I'm sorry you're suffering.

Oh and this should be your decision. If you are going for someone else, you're not gonna try once you're in. Food is mediocre, people are nuts, your freedom is limited, doctors are rarely available. There are a lot of things to look for if you want to be deterred. Hugz and plushies.

Oh oh my outpatient was for eating disorders. Kay bye.

 

[magicwiccan1]

I feel like at this very moment, I'm finished. I'm so desperate to kill myself, I am at this very moment 5 seconds away from breaking a glass jar and using the glass to slit my wrists... down the street, not across the road. And I mean that.

My psychiatrist told me about the best mental hospital in this city, but I've read their reviews and they are not very good. I honestly don't see any reason to continue living, I am so miserable it's insane. I look in the mirror and realize why nobody cares about me anymore, why people have sex with me once and then dissappear, why my last ex beat me up before he kicked me out: I'm fucking ugly. I'm fucking ugly, there's nothing special about me. I used to be anorexic skinny, now I'm like bulimic or something so I can't lose weight. I hate it. I hate my body. I hate my face.

What the fuck could they do for me at the psych ward? Could they make me a different person? Could they change my brain? My psych thinks I'm borderline on top of being bipolar: if 1/10 BPD people ctb, and a percentage of BP people also ctb, what chance do I stand?

I do not want to keep waiting for things to get worse and worse, I have no hope at all. No dreams or ambitions. I had a good run. I'm gonna try partial again, off a door knob. Anybody ever seen that simulation of Robin William's suicide? Yeah, funny right.

It might be worth a try.
If you do plan to CTB then what have you got to loose by trying to get help first?
Even asking if it worth trying sounds like part of you wants to get the help it needs.
I've never been to a ward but reading people comments, they seem to be mixed. You might have a better experience when you admit yourself and go voluntarily with an open mind, compared to those who are forced and committed to go as they will have a mindset of it not being beneficial and being pointless for them as soon as they get there.

 

[Morgengrauen]

It really all depends on the ward, what doctor you get, staff, what are the main issues right now etc

I've had ward stays that have irreperably damaged and deeply traumatised me during my most vulnerable times. But i also had stays that actually where helpfull to generally slow down, reflect and try to fix the situational stressors that contributed to my declining mental health.

It is a big gamble but if you feel like you want to weight out all options first, don't feel 100% sure about ctb or have things that could be sorted out that would eleviate the acute suffering (living situation, work/school, medication etc) the best option would be to give it a try. Look throught reviews of each psych ward and if possible ask around for people who been there and pick the best option.

Personally i'm going to one on monday to get help with certain stuff in my life and also just to get a break from just being an adult for few weeks to really think about my plans instead of doing something impulsive and fucking it up. And also promised couple friends who know about my plans to ctb to at least try one more time and see how it goes before quitting finally and forever.

There's no guarantee it will actually solve anything but i'm somebody who tries all other options before jumping to the most permanent and risky option.

 

[dragontale14]

How likely do estimate it that you will make a suicide attempt in the near future?

Because they're only good for temporarily keeping you from trying to kill yourself.

The risk of additional trauma is too great otherwise.

If you'd like to chat more in-depth about what's going on you are welcome to message me and maybe we can reach some conclusions about what to do.

I guess if I were to advise you one thing it would be to really try to see grad school through, as hard as it is. Take it from me; you don't want to sabotage your life.

In my estimation, maybe 50/50... or 60/40. I've tried so many times at this point that I know what works and what doesn't, so I feel like at this point I wouldn't try if I didn't have at least some certainty that I'd complete.

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to a psych ward...