Venting Is it worth it to apply for M.A.I.D/has anyone tried?

[Livingvsdying25]

Last yr I made some posts about asking my doctor... well... things have changed a lot within my physical and mental health. Im in severe burnout..I definitely wouldn't gonto her again to apply but within the level of functioning things are pretty bad.

I feel guilty for posting and guilty for feeling suicidal but this constant push & pull in struggling that shifts for a bit then dips again into depths of like almost reaching... then to realize:

how much up keep it takes

How little energy I have for anything and upkeep

how dangerous unmasking is without a proper support system,

How like... terrifying not being able to function in ways,


ow much im still gaslighting myself into thinking that it's ok enough/I'm choosing to feel suicidal when I'm really working overtime to both rest and find solutions that kinda don't exist.

I'm just pretty.... fed up. I don't even think this is the worst of the feeling but at a level to look at everything practically.

If kms with my own hands in inhumane ways is too much then like... I'm wondering if applying to M.A.I.D is worth it.

Ig if I'm feeling stuck anyway... it might be. I'm not feeling as burnt out as say a few weeks ago but thats basically "being able to be awake vs being do asleep I'm badly able" so the bar is low. I think I'm inbetween hopeless and hoping to find some solutions or supports so I'm not just left hopeless. Which is... an ok place to be but I'd rather not do this whole suicidality dance.

My attachment to life isn't that great tbh. So its easy to let go and practically speaking... I'd prefer not to hold on in endless "hope"
.
Barly surviving and really wanting to thrive wears one down.

Anyway vent and kinda a question but I'll be doing my own research too just... not feeling very great. I want all the can't to become can't and I'm aware it takes effort but I'm starting to acknowledge more of my autism & such. How sensory overload, overstimulation, having an Autistic & ADHD & CPTSD dysfunctional nervous system impacts me...

The masking masked that but it led to burn out. So. I've been burnt out since like 2. I'm in my mid 20's now.

As I write I feel less guilt over the feelings. They are my own and I have the right. I'd rather not lean into suicidality but it's not a choice and sometimes best to get it out rather than just keeping it in.

That's all for now ig.

 

[Whale_bones]

I'm sorry you're feeling so burnt out. I feel constantly burnt out too. Just exhausted and overwhelmed. Sometimes I wish I could stop being overwhelmed, and just be… whelmed Sorry, terrible joke, lol.

Well, I'm replying because I just read another post about MAID. Apparently, because of public outrage, they've postponed eligibility for mental illness until 2027. With that said, I'm not sure if you can start being assessed now and 2027 is just when they'll allow deaths to actually take place. But it's good to keep in mind that with MAID, relief is atleast that far off.

 

[martinso67]

I'm sorry you're feeling so burnt out. I feel constantly burnt out too. Just exhausted and overwhelmed. Sometimes I wish I could stop being overwhelmed, and just be… whelmed Sorry, terrible joke, lol.

Well, I'm replying because I just read another post about MAID. Apparently, because of public outrage, they've postponed eligibility for mental illness until 2027. With that said, I'm not sure if you can start being assessed now and 2027 is just when they'll allow deaths to actually take place. But it's good to keep in mind that with MAID, relief is atleast that far off.

The medical system is a joke. They neither fullfil or fully respect patient's wishes or neither really help patients get healthy. The amount of diseases are rising and the average life expectancy is stagnating or in some places declining.